Really love a girl but I'm stuck

[Fannick]

Hello there,

I thank you in advance if you're able to help me. I've always been the kind of guy who was easy on girls, asking them out easily and having relationships, you could say I was a player... I must admit I'm not very proud of it. My last relationship ended up six months ago, I wasn't interested anymore and decided to break up.

Recently I found myself talking to a girl and enjoying it very much, I won't give her name but a nickname, Simi. To be honest, I never felt that love towards a girl than Simi, I don't know why but I started to feel different for this girl.

Contrary to other relationships and girls I liked, I never had sexual thoughts about her, not meaning she's not pretty or anything but I simply don't believe that sex is the matter. You'll all know, a 17 years old teenage boy is probably thinking about this all the time, but for me it's different this time.

I know Simi for about 11 years, we visited the same school etc etc.. Now, the thing is, I didn't talk much to her before, maybe last year, but I still considered her as a friend.

Today, I just came back from a school trip to Ireland, and I knew it would be awesome as I knew she would come too. I love her since a long time already, maybe 4 months ? We had a such great time together, it was fantastic. I never sat next to her in the bus or in the plane but sometimes behind her, and one time I used to pass my hand between the two seats, and she suddenly catched my hand, and started playing with my fingers, for about a half an hour. It was a wonderful sensation.

There was another time where we spent our evenings together in a common room, where there were couches, we sat the first time next to each other. We weren't alone, there were 4 other classmates too. We talked and had fun playing cards. At one time I had my hand open on the upside, no particular reasons, and she got her forearm into my hand whilst it was open, she didn't say anything, I first thought it was an accident but she let her arm like this. At a certain time, I told her that if she wants to, she can get her arm away, that I'm not emprisonning it, and she replied with a smile "no it's fine I'm emprisonning your hand as it's on top of it". So we stayed like this and from time to time she moved her arm a little away getting closer to her hand, and at one point she got her hand in mine, it wasn't the classical holding, it was playing with eachothers hand, I think she was nervous at this time but I wasn't sure. It ended when a friend of her asked if she could come with her to the room, she went and a bit later they came back, but this time it wasn't Simi who was sitting next to me, but her friend, so this interrupted our "hand relation".

So, these signs show a drastic interests in me right ? But here comes the problem, the "other guy". His name is Nico, he is the kind of shy, reserved and frandly guy, not particularly handsome but good enough. She spends a lot of time with him, however I don't see her touching him a lot like with me. And I get slightly confused on what happens, when she has the choice between me and Nico, she'll choose him. I told her that last time I sat alone in the plane (because of the plane tickets) and she felt really sorry for me saying that next time she'll sit next to me. And then her friend said that she could come too, and Simi then said, "or you can sit next to him, and I will sit next to Nico". There are many situations where she chose Nico more than me. We used to spend some evenings in the girls room, but some not, and one evening she came in our room and told Nico that he was welcome in their room, and had no interested in me at all. Same happened at the "Irish dancing evening", we had to choose a partner, and as you could expect it, Nico was with her and I danced with her friend... In the plane, she finally sat next to Nico and I sat next to two other girls... So I hope you understand my problem. I have the impression she is interested in me, by spending some time with me and touching me, but spends more time with Nico without touching him ? They aren't best friends, it really just started last week... I don't really understand and hope maybe the message behind this situation.

So, I am stuck, confused about her feelings for me, and don't know what to do...

Thanks in advance,

Fannick

 

P.S.: I never tried to get her number or text app profiles. We both know that we have a phone on which we can communicate together. But I decided not to try getting her number as I really want to keep a real physical relationship. She never asked for my number though, I have the number of all her friends but not her... Could this cause a problem ? Also, I dream of her, this night I dreamt I kissed her, I don't know if it means anything perticurlar but that I like her. And sorry for the long post.

[Toodaloo]

Fannick

 

Finally you have met your match. A girl who is not going to judge a boy on his looks but his personality.

 

She has chosen Nico as he is unlikely to toss her aside and will probably treat her with dignity and respect.

 

Your past has shown that you are highly likely to get rid of her and hurt her feelings quickly should she get involved with you.

 

Being a "player" might get you kisses but those kisses will hold no substance.

 

Stop being a "player" and start learning how to save yourself for people you do actually like and want to be with.

 

This is not a great love affair, this is going to be forgotten by the time you are at college...

[Fannick]

Thanks a lot for your answer,

so, if I understand, she only spends time with me for my physical?

 

That would make actually sense... Although I used to be a player before, I've changed, and my personality isn't that bad, I get complimented for my behavior but I am scared she spends time more with Nico for his personality...

 

I'm very thankful Toodaloo, I will try to think about it.

[Toodaloo]

Its going to take a long time for your past to be forgotten... Once you are known as a tart it will take a long time of steady, consistent NOT being a tart to get rid of that!

 

Learn how to be a gentleman (note this is not a push over) and keep behaving that way.

[Fannick]

I've talked about it with Simi, she asked me with how many girls I went out, and I said I didn't want to count and talk about it. She wanted to know why I just told her I don't like to have this image of the player and she then told that I am an amazing person and that in nothing I look like a player, people don't take me as a tart, well it's not the impression I have.

 

But maybe I don't see the other impression people and especially she, have on me.

 

I am really confused, it's really the first time I love a girl that much, thinking of her all the time, asking myself so many questions, etc..

[Fannick]

I asked Simi's friend (and obviously mine either), if she knew if there was anything going on between Nico and Simi, and she replied "Hahaha there isn't anything, I even asked her. But I already knew before, she doesn't like him that way".

This is getting really confusing...