Cinnimon Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 I was reading an article about how hard it is for a man to open up and talk about his past and issues that could possibly make him feel vulnerable. The article stated that a man must be able to trust a woman before exposing his vulnerable side, such as family issues, career and or financial issues, past relationship issues and such. Just curious what others think about this topic. Anyone?
Carm Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 Well, I wouldn't be surprised. As a woman, I would also have to trust someone before I allowed myself to be vulnerable. 1
Author Cinnimon Posted May 1, 2015 Author Posted May 1, 2015 Carm, would those types of conversations make you feel vulnerable?
Carm Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 Carm, would those types of conversations make you feel vulnerable? Yes, for sure. I do not discuss personal family issues, or past hurts with a man I'm dating until I feel they are trustworthy. It was probably about 4-5 months into my relationship where I felt I can slow let my "underbelly" be exposed. Maybe the men on LS can weigh in on this? I did notice that it wasn't until I opened up that my bf felt more comfortable about being vulnerable himself. 1
AppleKakes Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 RWhat is it with women wanting guys to break out the Kleenexes and pour out their feeeelings ina crying frenzy? There's a difference between the sexes on how they communicate and express themselves. We women wanna cry, pull out the Kleenex and tell all of our girlfriends. A guy shoots hoops, tinkers with his car, or just sits around and "thinks". Men are "problem/solution" minded. They don't sit around and worry about feelings. So, if there's a problem, he's working on a solution. So, I don't expect my man to sit around with me like a gf and pour out his soul...especially if his "past" is something not relative to our RL. If your guy is showing signs of having an 'isssssuuuue', then run some warm water and have him soak his feet....give him a massage, hand him a beer and be blunt. Be like, "I notice you and your mom don't talk, anything I can do to help with the situation?" See, that way you set the mood for him to open up w/o treating him like a girlfriend. Also, you did a "problem/solution" approach instead of "let's talk about feeeelings".. Geesh, I'm not a guy and just the mentioning of sitting around and talking about feeeelings makes me nauseaus. You know, a radio show I listen to a lot? The host says it's primarily women who call in about drama with relatives...guys don't have time and/or interest in things like that. Usually if a guy is involved in family drama it's cuz his woman is pushing him to get involved and guys know if they don't obey the wifey, no sexo. I saw a movie a while back called "Warrior" and while it's hard for me to watch MMA (cuz it seems so brutal and guyish), I enjoyed seeing male "drama". I enjoyed seeing men struggle with family drama - yet it wasn't "feminized" like Steel Magnolias or a Lifetime movie
Author Cinnimon Posted May 1, 2015 Author Posted May 1, 2015 I'm not saying I want a man to pour his feelings out. I was talking about what the article was stating and asking for opinions as to its content. Again , it stated that a man must truly trust a woman ( more so than a woman trusting a man, according to the article) before he will share his vulnerabilities with her. I personally don't take issue with anyone wanting to express their feelings or share their life experiences. I was just curious as to what others think about it.
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