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What is the point of OLD?

SingleDude

By SingleDude
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SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
Posted

This HAS to be a joke.

 

 

A girl messages me, seems interested. Within 10 minutes we are texting.

 

 

I ask her general questions and get short answers. Then I ask how long it takes her to meet with someone after talking on the site. Her answer is "maybe a week".

 

 

I then say "Well, texting fades after a while".

 

 

"Yup"

 

 

"So if texting fades and we don't meet up soon, what is the point of this?"

 

 

"LOL I dunno"

 

 

I say "Ok then"

 

 

"What"

 

 

"Well if you want to meet up this weekend, I am more than willing to"

 

 

"I'm going to the shore this weekend."

 

 

I say "ok"

 

 

"Gonna watch TV now I'll text ya later."

 

 

 

 

Really? Like, really? Like...why?

neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted

Just some quick thoughts;

 

1. Your language was completely passive. "So if you want too?" That's not asking her out, that's sounding disinterested.

 

2. The point of online dating is to make that initial connection, get a number and organise a date.

 

So the my script usually goes;

 

1. One or two quick messages, followed by;

"Texting/Email is a pretty clumsy way to get to know someone. Can I give you a call?". At this point, I usually get a number, or she bows out.

 

2. Call girl, quick 20 minute conversation get the general vibe, then organise a date. Usually a coffee, or a drink after work. I choose when and where.

 

3. Go on date.

 

 

That's basically the template I've been using. If you're passive and wishy washy, you're going to struggle to get results.

  • Like 3
Vercetti Established Member

Vercetti

Posted
Posted

A subscription fee for those that want a phone call to qualify as second base.

  • Like 1
h0000 Established Member

h0000

Posted
Posted

One of my guy friend said OLD only works for people who arent super attractive. LOL

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SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Just some quick thoughts;

 

1. Your language was completely passive. "So if you want too?" That's not asking her out, that's sounding disinterested.

 

2. The point of online dating is to make that initial connection, get a number and organise a date.

 

So the my script usually goes;

 

1. One or two quick messages, followed by;

"Texting/Email is a pretty clumsy way to get to know someone. Can I give you a call?". At this point, I usually get a number, or she bows out.

 

2. Call girl, quick 20 minute conversation get the general vibe, then organise a date. Usually a coffee, or a drink after work. I choose when and where.

 

3. Go on date.

 

 

That's basically the template I've been using. If you're passive and wishy washy, you're going to struggle to get results.

 

 

Actually in the middle of that I did ask if she wanted to meet.

 

 

What I got was "I'm in my pjs right now".

 

 

Dude, she's a guaranteed flake. And I'm not new to OLD either. But for godsakes it gets old.

neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted
Actually in the middle of that I did ask if she wanted to meet.

 

 

What I got was "I'm in my pjs right now".

 

 

Dude, she's a guaranteed flake. And I'm not new to OLD either. But for godsakes it gets old.

 

Yeah, some of them are flakes man.

 

What can you do right? It's just another tool for meeting people. Doesn't stop you from meeting the time wasters.

  • Like 1
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted (edited)

The best thing to do when a girl is boring to talk to, is stop talking to her. If you're on the phone texting or calling and it's going nowhere, say you have to run. If you're emailing, simply delete her. But guys will try to act like a romantic Rumpelstiltskin turning straw into gold just because she is hot.

 

I mean you admit that you HATED talking to the girl and found her to be dull as dirt. But then you're also complaining that you couldn't line up a date with her. Why would you even want to go out with a woman that can't make simple conversation? If anything, you should be glad that you found out how dull she is before you had to waste your time on a date with her. When you're willing to walk away from women they you genuinely don't enjoy talking to, life gets much easier in dating.

Edited by fitnessfan365
  • Like 3
mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

Well your texts weren't very engaging. I can have great text conversations myself. If text is not your style, you should have called, if she wasn't interesting then stop talking and on to the next.

 

OLD ultimately is a way to augment your brick and mortar life, to meet people you wouldn't normally meet.

  • Like 2
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SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Well your texts weren't very engaging. I can have great text conversations myself. If text is not your style, you should have called, if she wasn't interesting then stop talking and on to the next.

 

OLD ultimately is a way to augment your brick and mortar life, to meet people you wouldn't normally meet.

 

How do you know? I was asking questions and describing myself in a nice manner.

 

 

My point is, what's the point in doing it if I'm the only one taking the time to engage?

BikerAccnt Established Member

BikerAccnt

Posted
Posted
How do you know? I was asking questions and describing myself in a nice manner.

 

 

My point is, what's the point in doing it if I'm the only one taking the time to engage?

 

You need to flat out ask them out. Be specific.

 

Don't say..."well if you want to meet up this weekend I'm willing to." You say, I'd like to meet you this weekend, Lets exchange phone numbers, I give you a call, and we schedule a time to meet."

 

You need to be direct.

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SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You need to flat out ask them out. Be specific.

 

Don't say..."well if you want to meet up this weekend I'm willing to." You say, I'd like to meet you this weekend, Lets exchange phone numbers, I give you a call, and we schedule a time to meet."

 

You need to be direct.

 

I get what you guys are saying but then it seems I'm being "pushy" by doing that.

Gary S Established Member

Gary S

Posted
Posted

There are a few tips:

 

1) You tried to carry on a conversation by text - you should have called (voice).

 

2) You got too serious - that's boring. Keep it lighthearted and funny, no heavy stuff.

 

3) Ask her to meet on a weekday/weeknight - she's busy on the weekend.

 

That said, she was not much better, lol

  • Like 1
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted

One thing I will say though OP, is you have a negative tone in your texts. "What's the point of this?" "Well OK then", etc.. Comes off like your whining and sulking a bit. No girl wants to date a downer.

 

So two things I'd recommend are - 1) Try to be more indifferent and realize this is a girl you don't even know, and 2) Keep it light hearted and stay positive. If she still ends up sending lame texts your way, then tell her you need to run and it was nice chatting. OLD definitely has many things wrong with it. But one of the few positives is that you can eliminate someone without even having to waste time on a date. I mean think about it. What do a handful of texts really cost you vs having to spend time and money on a date you'd hate to be on anyways? It's all about how you look at things.

  • Like 2
LookAtThisPOst Established Member

LookAtThisPOst

Posted
Posted
Well your texts weren't very engaging. I can have great text conversations myself. If text is not your style, you should have called, if she wasn't interesting then stop talking and on to the next.

 

OLD ultimately is a way to augment your brick and mortar life, to meet people you wouldn't normally meet.

 

Actually, I don't care how "engaging" the conversation is. It seems she lacked the intelligence with the brain the size of a pea based on her response. Kind of hard to "engage" with someone like that.

  • Like 1
AppleKakes Member

AppleKakes

Posted
Posted

She probably wasn't that into you...

 

A guy I met on OLD a while back and played e-mail tag back and forth with just randomly texted me like two weekends ago with "hey I'm free today"

 

On top of the email tag, did he think I'm gonna drop everything I'm doing to see him?

 

Besides, he was good looking, but didn't make my vagina wet.

 

So, I didn't respond till like a day later and said 'I was busy'

 

I expect a man to know how to set up a date, even if it is a casual situation. If he said, 'hey I was able to get some free time today, wanna meet up for coffee/drinks?' He probably would have gotten my attention. But 'hey, I'm free today'? Seriously?

 

If I was in an established RL, I can do the spontaneous thing now and then, but I'm not just sitting around waiting for some guy to ring me so I can show up like Domino's Pizza - hot and ready.

 

If I were you, I would of said something like 'well, liked your profile...how do you feel about meeting over drinks/coffee so ' can put a face to a profile. There's cafe/Starbucks in my area that's a great place. I had Thursday in mind, what do you think?'

 

That way, you set out the purpose of the meeting, take charge as a man to set it up, and show enthusiasm.

 

But a couple of limp txts back and forth would have made me snooze too.

  • Like 3
neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted
I get what you guys are saying but then it seems I'm being "pushy" by doing that.

 

No, that's being upfront and confident.

 

Pushy is when you start ignoring the signals you're getting back from the girl and push ahead regardless;

 

e.g.

 

You: "Hey, I'd love to buy you a drink after work next week. There's this great bar in town. How's 6:00 next Tuesday work for you?"

 

Her: "Oh, Um.. I'm actually busy next Tuesday" <- no alternate suggestion. Red flag.

 

You: "Hey, come on. No need to get jittery. It's just a drink right! lol"

 

Her: "Look, I told you I'm busy next Tuesday. I'm working back late"

 

You: "Jesus, no need to be a bitch about it. It's just a damn drink. forget it"

 

...

 

^ That's pushy.

  • Like 1
neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted
She probably wasn't that into you...

If I were you, I would of said something like 'well, liked your profile...how do you feel about meeting over drinks/coffee so ' can put a face to a profile. There's cafe/Starbucks in my area that's a great place. I had Thursday in mind, what do you think?'

 

That way, you set out the purpose of the meeting, take charge as a man to set it up, and show enthusiasm.

 

But a couple of limp txts back and forth would have made me snooze too.

 

^ I rest my case ;)

 

Nicely put AppleKakes

fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
She probably wasn't that into you...

 

A guy I met on OLD a while back and played e-mail tag back and forth with just randomly texted me like two weekends ago with "hey I'm free today"

 

On top of the email tag, did he think I'm gonna drop everything I'm doing to see him?

 

Besides, he was good looking, but didn't make my vagina wet.

 

So, I didn't respond till like a day later and said 'I was busy'

 

I expect a man to know how to set up a date, even if it is a casual situation. If he said, 'hey I was able to get some free time today, wanna meet up for coffee/drinks?' He probably would have gotten my attention. But 'hey, I'm free today'? Seriously?

 

If I was in an established RL, I can do the spontaneous thing now and then, but I'm not just sitting around waiting for some guy to ring me so I can show up like Domino's Pizza - hot and ready.

 

If I were you, I would of said something like 'well, liked your profile...how do you feel about meeting over drinks/coffee so ' can put a face to a profile. There's cafe/Starbucks in my area that's a great place. I had Thursday in mind, what do you think?'

 

That way, you set out the purpose of the meeting, take charge as a man to set it up, and show enthusiasm.

 

But a couple of limp txts back and forth would have made me snooze too.

 

Not only was this post honest and to the point. But it was sexy as hell too. A woman talking that bluntly about what gets her wet is hot. I'm glad you didn't settle for that crap and have actual standards. ;)

  • Like 1
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SingleDude Member

SingleDude

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Actually, I don't care how "engaging" the conversation is. It seems she lacked the intelligence with the brain the size of a pea based on her response. Kind of hard to "engage" with someone like that.

 

This.

 

 

Anyone who knows me will tell you I enjoy typing long texts and being very descriptive. I'm just at the point where if I do, then it comes off as being too much. If I don't, then it seems like I'm not interested.

 

 

But yeah, she was like a "duh" all the way.

AppleKakes Member

AppleKakes

Posted
Posted

O

This.

 

 

Anyone who knows me will tell you I enjoy typing long texts and being very descriptive. I'm just at the point where if I do, then it comes off as being too much. If I don't, then it seems like I'm not interested.

 

 

But yeah, she was like a "duh" all the way.

 

Well, still, you gotta be confident and at least set it up.

 

One guy was limp like that with me on OLD. I pretty much did what I recommended you do, I said I'd like to meet to over drinks and he was like "ok" w/o suggestions, enthusiasm and I was like "ok" right back and left it there...

neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted
This.

 

 

Anyone who knows me will tell you I enjoy typing long texts and being very descriptive. I'm just at the point where if I do, then it comes off as being too much. If I don't, then it seems like I'm not interested.

 

 

But yeah, she was like a "duh" all the way.

 

Just out of interest, how old are you?

 

I just ask because I've noticed this shift towards avoiding "phone conversation" in favor of texting in many of the younger generation.

 

Being able to hold a conversation over the phone is a pretty useful skill. Worth taking the time to develop. Descriptive texts are nice, but still a pretty painful way to go about getting to know someone.

  • Like 1
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
One guy was limp like that with me on OLD.

 

Haha.. You are cracking me up, and your feisty nature really is attractive.

  • Like 1
AppleKakes Member

AppleKakes

Posted
Posted
Not only was this post honest and to the point. But it was sexy as hell too. A woman talking that bluntly about what gets her wet is hot. I'm glad you didn't settle for that crap and have actual standards. ;)

 

Well, I don't know what "hey, I'm free today" meant to him -especially when we haven't even met in person yet.

 

Look, one time I wanted to hook up with a dude...I approached him, let him know I saw him checking me out and maybe he could "come over" sometime and have a beer.

 

In my mind, I was expecting him to say "sure, I'd love a beer" and he'd come over, I could serve him a beer, chat, kiss, and see where it went. Even though I wanted sex, I wanted to do some seduction, playing around, chatting.

 

But noooo, he ruined it. He was like "oh, what are you doing right now?" And he wanted to hook up right then and there....Pleeze, he just ruined it for me. Not suave at all. And again, i had like ten things to do that day, but wanted to reach out to him before you lose that window of an opportunity to make a move. It didn't mean I wanted sex right then and there :rolleyes:

 

Maybe it's the age of these guys....they just think sex is jumpin' and a humpin'. I like to set the mood. I'm a woman who enjoys a nice steak. Fast food, eh, sometimes...but prefer steak.

  • Like 2
fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
Well, I don't know what "hey, I'm free today" meant to him -especially when we haven't even met in person yet.

 

Look, one time I wanted to hook up with a dude...I approached him, let him know I saw him checking me out and maybe he could "come over" sometime and have a beer.

 

In my mind, I was expecting him to say "sure, I'd love a beer" and he'd come over, I could serve him a beer, chat, kiss, and see where it went. Even though I wanted sex, I wanted to do some seduction, playing around, chatting.

 

But noooo, he ruined it. He was like "oh, what are you doing right now?" And he wanted to hook up right then and there....Pleeze, he just ruined it for me. Not suave at all. And again, i had like ten things to do that day, but wanted to reach out to him before you lose that window of an opportunity to make a move. It didn't mean I wanted sex right then and there :rolleyes:

 

Maybe it's the age of these guys....they just think sex is jumpin' and a humpin'. I like to set the mood. I'm a woman who enjoys a nice steak. Fast food, eh, sometimes...but prefer steak.

 

Wow, that's actually pretty direct of you to invite him over for a "beer". However, I'm with you. I've never been a get right to it sort of guy. I like conversation, flirting, kissing, foreplay, etc to get me revved up. Plus, it's an even bigger turn on to tease and make her really anticipate and plead, etc.. I think most women love to be f**ked but a cake in the oven takes time to inflate. :)

  • Like 1
AppleKakes Member

AppleKakes

Posted
Posted
Wow, that's actually pretty direct of you to invite him over for a "beer". However, I'm with you. I've never been a get right to it sort of guy. I like conversation, flirting, kissing, foreplay, etc to get me revved up. Plus, it's an even bigger turn on to tease and make her really anticipate and plead, etc.. I think most women love to be f**ked but a cake in the oven takes time to inflate. :)

 

Thank you!!!

 

I guess some guys need lessons in how to bake a cake ;)

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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