hunk Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 A girl from the place I used to work has recently been contacting me pretty frequently. We got along great at work and I could tell she was interested in me/had a crush on me, but it was when I was going through a messy situation with my ex so i was happy to flirt etc but wasn't really keen on anything. Now I'm single and basically exploring every single option presented to me. She is absolutely stunning, she's half Brazilian and gorgeous, every guy at work obsessed over her and all the girls hated her which I found amusing:rolleyes: Tonight she randomly messaged me asking how i'd been and basically straight up said "we should hang out some time :)" I told her i'd love to. What the hell right? Her exact words were "you lead an extremely interesting life, i'd love to hear some stories and get to know you outside of work... but you do seem a bit wild:)" yyyyeaahhhhhh.... Now, I don't know how to read this because she has a boyfriend. Who she lives with. I really don't know whether she's asking me out as a friend, or what the hell is going on here. I remember her telling me once at work she didn't know too many people from the area, and another guy at work (who's friends with her boyfriend) said she didn't have too many friends and was very shy meeting new people. I could see this - with me she was VERY open and fun and flirty etc, but with basically every other guy at work she was super closed off and distant. My problem is, what do i do? Do i see her? I don't wanna be that homewrecker, but I would really enjoy pursuing something with her. I also really do get the vibe she is very attracted to me, i just don't understand why she's doing this while she has a (seemingly) serious long term boyfriend. Cheers team
Diezel Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 If she'd do that to him, she'll do it to you. Keep that in mind. 3
PegNosePete Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Also he may be 6'10" and built like a brick shiphouse. Live by the sword, you die by the sword.
Author hunk Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 I should add that at work she was also suggesting we hang out, quite alot, but I kept blowing it off because I wasn't feeling it at the time. I dunno whether this has made her more keen or what, I find it strange she would pursue a friendship so persistently with me seeing as though outside of work (which is no longer happening because I left) we would never see eachother again (no mutual friends, we don't live near eachother etc)
Author hunk Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Hahaha :laugh: I've met him, he used to come in all the time. He's very small, shy and pale and wouldn't talk to me:laugh:
PegNosePete Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 It's the quiet ones you want to watch out for. Norman Bates wouldn't harm a fly... 3
CookieMonster111 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Hahaha :laugh: I've met him, he used to come in all the time. He's very small, shy and pale and wouldn't talk to me:laugh: No, you should ask her if her boyfriend will be coming so it's sort of a way of saying. "Erm, is your boyfriend fine with this?" Never know she might say why of COURSE he is coming!!
Author hunk Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Now that you mention it he does seem like the type to carry some sort of concealed weapon for reasons unknown to me ... I should probably ask her. But if he isn't coming it still doesn't really solve anything for me, I still don't know what her intentions are...
BlueIris Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Just tell her, “I don’t hang out with women with boyfriends or husbands.” Sounds like a lot of drama to me- i.e. a cheap thrill. 3
Gary S Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I would not mess with a woman who had a boyfriend. Who needs drama? Find one who is not attached.
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 A girl from the place I used to work has recently been contacting me pretty frequently. We got along great at work and I could tell she was interested in me/had a crush on me, but it was when I was going through a messy situation with my ex so i was happy to flirt etc but wasn't really keen on anything. Now I'm single and basically exploring every single option presented to me. She is absolutely stunning, she's half Brazilian and gorgeous, every guy at work obsessed over her and all the girls hated her which I found amusing:rolleyes: Tonight she randomly messaged me asking how i'd been and basically straight up said "we should hang out some time :)" I told her i'd love to. What the hell right? Her exact words were "you lead an extremely interesting life, i'd love to hear some stories and get to know you outside of work... but you do seem a bit wild:)" yyyyeaahhhhhh.... Now, I don't know how to read this because she has a boyfriend. Who she lives with. I really don't know whether she's asking me out as a friend, or what the hell is going on here. I remember her telling me once at work she didn't know too many people from the area, and another guy at work (who's friends with her boyfriend) said she didn't have too many friends and was very shy meeting new people. I could see this - with me she was VERY open and fun and flirty etc, but with basically every other guy at work she was super closed off and distant. My problem is, what do i do? Do i see her? I don't wanna be that homewrecker, but I would really enjoy pursuing something with her. I also really do get the vibe she is very attracted to me, i just don't understand why she's doing this while she has a (seemingly) serious long term boyfriend. Cheers team Even if she intends it to be "just friends" she will be putting you in a touchy situation which may lead to drama anyway. It's one thing to remain friends with guy friends you had before entering into a relationship, it's another to establish new friendships with guys. I'd distance myself if I were you.
BlueIris Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 You should hang out with this girl and have sex with her. When she brings up the idea of leaving her boyfriend for you, tell her you know better than to date a chick that cheats on her boyfriend. I kind of get the feeling that that’s what OP wants to do. ("Dilemma" ??) If he does, or if her keeps up the cat and mouse game, he’d better not complain about how crazy or messed up she is because walking into would really be a “who’s crazier?” contest. 3
elaine567 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Out of the fat into the fire comes to mind here. 2
jen1447 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Sounds to me like she's definitely interested sexually. Altho one word of caution - some women like to 'get' guys by legit flirting with them, then shut them down when the time comes. It's self-validating for some types of egos, so she could bscly say "yep, he's in my fanclub too" and then bust you back down to private once she got the validation and stay 'true' to her guy. (Some women even get satisfaction from blue-balling guys specifically.) It's hard to say what's going on with her guy, so the above may not happen at all and maybe she f*cks a bunch of different people all the time on him, but it's always possible all she wants is to tie you in a knot and watch the fallout. 3
No Limit Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Drama train is coming at you. Well, I guess if you want to receive more texts made of crazyness, go ahead. ^^
Justanaverageguy Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Sounds to me like she's definitely interested sexually. Altho one word of caution - some women like to 'get' guys by legit flirting with them, then shut them down when the time comes. It's self-validating for some types of egos, so she could bscly say "yep, he's in my fanclub too" and then bust you back down to private once she got the validation and stay 'true' to her guy. (Some women even get satisfaction from blue-balling guys specifically) Yuuup seen that plenty of times. Girls love attention. My advice if you like her ... don't beat around the bush, but don't be a sneaky cheating dickwad either. Be confident direct and honest. "I'd love to hang out - but I don't hang out with girls I like who have boyfriends." Signal your intentions, let her know you don't do cheating affairs then put the ball back in her court.
rester Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 I've had flirtatious women come on to me and have always avoided further contact when I've found out they have a boyfriend or husband, so if it were me, I would avoid this situation all together. Nothing good will come out of "hanging out" with someone you would like to pursue romantically when they have a live-in boyfriend. Even if she were to leave him for you, would you then be able to trust her to not do the same to you? 1
Jonp219 Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) I'm a firm believer in karma. If screw another mans women then one day someone will screw yours (when you eventually get one). But that's just me. Women like this don't deserve the light of day. What I would do is let her get comfortable with you, invite her to your place, and tell her boyfriend to meet you guys there lol Edited May 1, 2015 by Jonp219
Author hunk Posted May 1, 2015 Author Posted May 1, 2015 If i'm going to be brutally honest I would love to just sleep with her and that be the end of it. I'm not interested in dating a woman who behaves like this. So I actually think i'm just going to avoid the situation altogether and let her down. Even as I type this I have an unread FB message from her that I don't want to respond to. It's not worth sleeping with her then ruining her boyfriend's life (who has relocated to my country to be with her), even I draw the line there. There's just no point when I could meet an equally beautiful woman without a boyfriend. Thanks guys 5
Jonp219 Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 If i'm going to be brutally honest I would love to just sleep with her and that be the end of it. I'm not interested in dating a woman who behaves like this. So I actually think i'm just going to avoid the situation altogether and let her down. Even as I type this I have an unread FB message from her that I don't want to respond to. It's not worth sleeping with her then ruining her boyfriend's life (who has relocated to my country to be with her), even I draw the line there. There's just no point when I could meet an equally beautiful woman without a boyfriend. Thanks guys You're a good man. Don't get involved with women like that. If she wants to whore around then she can go do that with someone else. She should atleast break up with her boyfriend if she wants to act all single.
neowulf Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 If i'm going to be brutally honest I would love to just sleep with her and that be the end of it. I'm not interested in dating a woman who behaves like this. So I actually think i'm just going to avoid the situation altogether and let her down. Even as I type this I have an unread FB message from her that I don't want to respond to. It's not worth sleeping with her then ruining her boyfriend's life (who has relocated to my country to be with her), even I draw the line there. There's just no point when I could meet an equally beautiful woman without a boyfriend. Thanks guys +1 Well played Hunk. If you can attract one stunner, I'm sure you can attract a bunch.
ManyDissapoint Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 Hunk, I would not have been able to resist calling her out on her **** behavior. Not to say you should go out of your way, but every time a cheater is shamed I think it makes the world a better place.
mortensorchid Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 Don't go there. You don't want to get in the middle of something even if your intentions are perfectly innocent. And your intentions do not seem perfectly innocent by what you have said about this. This guy could be a super bruiser and come after you. Don't do this.
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