CookieMonster111 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 My ex-boyfriend recently dumped me (and when I say dump; I'm talking about being extremely mean and trying hard to hurt me.) and when he did it at first, I was cool with it because we haven't been having a good time lately so when he said it I was hurt, but I said okay. Is this what you really want? And he said yeah. And we can't talk forever anymore after this. That's when I went huh? What's going on? And I went on a rampage of begging him to tell me what's wrong..whoops. He blocked me on everything so I ended up going to his house to see what was going on like a crazy person! Turns out he blamed me about something but it wasn't me, but I guess he doesn't care because even when the real person who was behind the thing he blamed me for confessed, he never bothered to apologize about it and offer to be friends. My ex doesn't know that I know the guy confessed to my ex. The guy is actually a crazy ex of mine and I have him blocked on EVERYTHING, and he asked my ex to please tell him to unblock him. My ex apparently cussed him out and told him to leave me alone and that he's pathetic and needs to move on. My ex never told me this and I only found out because my crazy ex sent a letter to my house..handwritten and slipped under my door. So I was confused on why my ex isn't bringing this up. However, as I mentioned before I was blocked during the breakup. Coincidence or not..but he unblocked me after my crazy ex confessed, and cleared up my name. I'm a pretty straight forward person and HATE mind games. So as soon as I gathered my thoughts, I decided to message my ex and not wait around. I wanted answers! Basically, without attacking him I slowly asked him why did he act the way he did, when did he stop liking me, have you been talking badly about me..etc. I asked him when did he actually stop liking me (because while he was being mean, he said I don't like you anymore.) and he said well, clash of personalities and different wants and needs. Which I agree on. He wasn't sure on how to act like a boyfriend or treat me like a girlfriend. I wasn't that much happy, but I did like him very much. So anyway, I conclude that he didn't bother apologizing and try to save the relationship he left because he wasn't happy anyway and noticed our clash in character. His answers to my questions concluded this. Sadly though, I wouldn't be posting this thread if I didn't want him back. I want him back because he was a great person and I saw so much potential in him as a boyfriend, and I regret not handling certain situations so it didn't stress both of us out. We both made mistakes, and hopefully he will miss me and realize what I realize: we can work if we BOTH wanna try. I believe this because at first I wasnt sad about the breakup, just how he handled it. I immediately considered taking up on a guy's offer of taking me out for a drink at a bar (he asked me while I had a boyfriend, so I politely declined) but he was cute, has a nice job and drives a nice car--LOL! But anyway, my point is I thought I didn't care anymore either. But I do, and want to try again. Reminder: I agree with the reason he broke up with me, it probably would have been me first if we waited any longer! so I'm not bitter at all. Just hopeful. Before you all throw rocks at me, please listen to this: while we were having our conversation about why we didn't work out and whatnot, our conversation took a friendly tone, and he initiated it. Let me explain: Ex: I swear I won't talk badly about you. But you can say whatever you like about me. Me: you don't care if I talk sh*t?.. Ex: that's up to you if you do or don't. Me: Luke, I don't feel the need to talk badly about you. The only time I might talk about you is when talking about our good times! Ex: Do what you feel like doing on that topic, that's all I'm going to say. His tone seemed pretty indifferent; like he was hoping my computer crashed so I would stop responding; so I did. And then he messages: Ex: oh, by the way, you can still use my Twitter account. Me: what? why haha Ex: I guess to keep it alive, get me more followers.. Me: oh okay. well I don't have your password because you locked yourself out remember? Ex: I totally forgot about that. I'll let you know when I fix that! Me: lol okay So that's what I mean by he changed it into a friendly tone. Why would he allow access to his Twitter? And surely enough later he told me his password, and he said I can tweet things if I wanted but don't try and start fights or bully people through his account. I said okay lol. And that was the last I heard from him I noticed he still has our date in his bio, and I'm not sure why he didn't take it out because all of my social media is clean of him! I may be over analyzing, but I have a gut feeling that he still likes me but didn't see the point in a relationship where we argued all the time. My boyfriend is an extreme realist and chooses logic over pleasure. So perhaps he's choosing the logic of the choice to stay single and not force himself into an unhappy relationship. Here's my question: I want to bring up the possibility of trying again; but I am extremely afraid of rejection. I would like him to bring it up first, but I was thinking I can maybe warm him up to the thought by hanging out with him; but I'm not sure how to ask him to hang out. Any input or advice? Experience? Thank you in advance and hopefully my post wasn't a long block of ho-hum.
Author CookieMonster111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 How old are you two? We are both 19.
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 My ex-boyfriend recently dumped me (and when I say dump; I'm talking about being extremely mean and trying hard to hurt me.) and when he did it at first, I was cool with it because we haven't been having a good time lately so when he said it I was hurt, but I said okay. Is this what you really want? And he said yeah. And we can't talk forever anymore after this. That's when I went huh? What's going on? And I went on a rampage of begging him to tell me what's wrong..whoops. He blocked me on everything so I ended up going to his house to see what was going on like a crazy person! Turns out he blamed me about something but it wasn't me, but I guess he doesn't care because even when the real person who was behind the thing he blamed me for confessed, he never bothered to apologize about it and offer to be friends. My ex doesn't know that I know the guy confessed to my ex. The guy is actually a crazy ex of mine and I have him blocked on EVERYTHING, and he asked my ex to please tell him to unblock him. My ex apparently cussed him out and told him to leave me alone and that he's pathetic and needs to move on. My ex never told me this and I only found out because my crazy ex sent a letter to my house..handwritten and slipped under my door. So I was confused on why my ex isn't bringing this up. However, as I mentioned before I was blocked during the breakup. Coincidence or not..but he unblocked me after my crazy ex confessed, and cleared up my name. I'm a pretty straight forward person and HATE mind games. So as soon as I gathered my thoughts, I decided to message my ex and not wait around. I wanted answers! Basically, without attacking him I slowly asked him why did he act the way he did, when did he stop liking me, have you been talking badly about me..etc. I asked him when did he actually stop liking me (because while he was being mean, he said I don't like you anymore.) and he said well, clash of personalities and different wants and needs. Which I agree on. He wasn't sure on how to act like a boyfriend or treat me like a girlfriend. I wasn't that much happy, but I did like him very much. So anyway, I conclude that he didn't bother apologizing and try to save the relationship he left because he wasn't happy anyway and noticed our clash in character. His answers to my questions concluded this. Sadly though, I wouldn't be posting this thread if I didn't want him back. I want him back because he was a great person and I saw so much potential in him as a boyfriend, and I regret not handling certain situations so it didn't stress both of us out. We both made mistakes, and hopefully he will miss me and realize what I realize: we can work if we BOTH wanna try. I believe this because at first I wasnt sad about the breakup, just how he handled it. I immediately considered taking up on a guy's offer of taking me out for a drink at a bar (he asked me while I had a boyfriend, so I politely declined) but he was cute, has a nice job and drives a nice car--LOL! But anyway, my point is I thought I didn't care anymore either. But I do, and want to try again. Reminder: I agree with the reason he broke up with me, it probably would have been me first if we waited any longer! so I'm not bitter at all. Just hopeful. Before you all throw rocks at me, please listen to this: while we were having our conversation about why we didn't work out and whatnot, our conversation took a friendly tone, and he initiated it. Let me explain: Ex: I swear I won't talk badly about you. But you can say whatever you like about me. Me: you don't care if I talk sh*t?.. Ex: that's up to you if you do or don't. Me: Luke, I don't feel the need to talk badly about you. The only time I might talk about you is when talking about our good times! Ex: Do what you feel like doing on that topic, that's all I'm going to say. His tone seemed pretty indifferent; like he was hoping my computer crashed so I would stop responding; so I did. And then he messages: Ex: oh, by the way, you can still use my Twitter account. Me: what? why haha Ex: I guess to keep it alive, get me more followers.. Me: oh okay. well I don't have your password because you locked yourself out remember? Ex: I totally forgot about that. I'll let you know when I fix that! Me: lol okay So that's what I mean by he changed it into a friendly tone. Why would he allow access to his Twitter? And surely enough later he told me his password, and he said I can tweet things if I wanted but don't try and start fights or bully people through his account. I said okay lol. And that was the last I heard from him I noticed he still has our date in his bio, and I'm not sure why he didn't take it out because all of my social media is clean of him! I may be over analyzing, but I have a gut feeling that he still likes me but didn't see the point in a relationship where we argued all the time. My boyfriend is an extreme realist and chooses logic over pleasure. So perhaps he's choosing the logic of the choice to stay single and not force himself into an unhappy relationship. Here's my question: I want to bring up the possibility of trying again; but I am extremely afraid of rejection. I would like him to bring it up first, but I was thinking I can maybe warm him up to the thought by hanging out with him; but I'm not sure how to ask him to hang out. Any input or advice? Experience? Thank you in advance and hopefully my post wasn't a long block of ho-hum. Sweetie, this one is done. It's way too damaged at this point to recover. You're young. Move on and don't look back. You should be enjoying your life not trying to salvage a "relationship" that has run it's course. There isn't one piece of information here that says it's worth saving.
Author CookieMonster111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Sweetie, this one is done. It's way too damaged at this point to recover. You're young. Move on and don't look back. You should be enjoying your life not trying to salvage a "relationship" that has run it's course. There isn't one piece of information here that says it's worth saving. Thanks for the honesty. It kinda sucks though, breaking up. Moving on from him should be easy as well because he's not the type to rebound or care for that.
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Thanks for the honesty. It kinda sucks though, breaking up. Moving on from him should be easy as well because he's not the type to rebound or care for that. Breaking up is hard to do for sure. Be strong and move forward. Go out and have some fun with friends. Keep yourself busy.
Author CookieMonster111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Wow, I just noticed something dangerous! I've read through my post again and I've noticed in my last paragraph I referred to him as my BOYFRIEND! It wasn't a typo, but for some reason it hasn't hit me that it's over and perhaps I'm TOO hopeful. I'm going to try my best and move on; I'm not heartbroken so I got out of this situation pretty easily. I'm going to run and never look back! You guys are still free to add input but I'm pretty sure I've made up my mind (:
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