jumpoff jorge Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I don't even know where to start. Her = K So me and K went to Jr highschool together and lost touch once we graduated in 2001. We reconnected in early 2013 over Facebook. We chatted for a few weeks & decided to go on a date soon after..4 dates later, we're a couple! Things go sour because she kept thinking I was doing things behind her back with other women(I wasn't). After the 3rd argument, I decided to end things. This was October of 2013. Fast foward to June of 2014, we reconnect again. She initiated contact over facebook. Couple convo's later she tells me that she got engaged in December, but she wasn't happy and missed what we had. My gut told me to leave her alone, but I ended up seeing her again. Around July, she broke things off with her fiance & we started to go on dates again. I told her that the first go around was rushed & I really wanted to things to work between us, so we should wait before making things official again. With my work & school schedule & her crazy work schedule, we rarely got to see eachother. Maybe twice a month. From June of 2014 to now, we only seen each other a handful of times. Although we didn't see eachother much, I was faithful to her & I assumed she was faithful to me. We even talked about children & all that wacky stuff couples talk about. A week ago, she told me she was having issues at home & her mother was close to kicking her out. She told me she was planning to stay with a female coworker until she could save up a couple extra hundred for a deposit on a new place. Today, she dropped the ultimate bomb on me. She sent me a text saying that her ex fiance was back around & that she was going to marry him and leave to Florida. She told me that she loved me to death, but she had to do this to get her life in order. Now, here I am lost and confused at what the hell went wrong. My stomach is in a knot & my mind is all over the place. Thoughts?
Toodaloo Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Leave her be. She is getting back together with her ex for security and to get away from her mother. You did nothing wrong. But this time walk away and stay away... There will be dramas in the future you can be sure of that. If she really did love you she would not be moving away of fannying around with other men. Just remember that... Oh in the UK fannying mean messing about and dithering around... Just in case we have "lot in translation" issues...! 7
Moy Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Sounds to me like she has a tempestuous relationship with her fiance and you were kept on the sidelines as a possible back-up guy to monkey branch onto. Let her go. 4
Omei Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 She's a leeach The type of person who cant be self sufficient so they use relationships. He's a fool to take her back after what shes done she will likely leave him as well if someone better comes along that can offer more. Be glad you're not the sucker marrying her You can do better for yourself don't miss this one. 1
Author jumpoff jorge Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 I know what I needed to do. I wished her the best & blocked her number. This whole situation just confused me. I had a lack of judgement when dealing wit her & it blew up in my face. Lesson learned. 1
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I don't even know where to start. Her = K So me and K went to Jr highschool together and lost touch once we graduated in 2001. We reconnected in early 2013 over Facebook. We chatted for a few weeks & decided to go on a date soon after..4 dates later, we're a couple! Things go sour because she kept thinking I was doing things behind her back with other women(I wasn't). After the 3rd argument, I decided to end things. This was October of 2013. Fast foward to June of 2014, we reconnect again. She initiated contact over facebook. Couple convo's later she tells me that she got engaged in December, but she wasn't happy and missed what we had. My gut told me to leave her alone, but I ended up seeing her again. Around July, she broke things off with her fiance & we started to go on dates again. I told her that the first go around was rushed & I really wanted to things to work between us, so we should wait before making things official again. With my work & school schedule & her crazy work schedule, we rarely got to see eachother. Maybe twice a month. From June of 2014 to now, we only seen each other a handful of times. Although we didn't see eachother much, I was faithful to her & I assumed she was faithful to me. We even talked about children & all that wacky stuff couples talk about. A week ago, she told me she was having issues at home & her mother was close to kicking her out. She told me she was planning to stay with a female coworker until she could save up a couple extra hundred for a deposit on a new place. Today, she dropped the ultimate bomb on me. She sent me a text saying that her ex fiance was back around & that she was going to marry him and leave to Florida. She told me that she loved me to death, but she had to do this to get her life in order. Now, here I am lost and confused at what the hell went wrong. My stomach is in a knot & my mind is all over the place. Thoughts? she had to do this to get her life in order. -- she is using her ex to get her out of a bad spot. Did you want to be the one to be used?
preraph Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 You know what? You dodged a bullet. There's two big red flags in your post about her. The first is you weren't cheating but she always thought you were. So she's very insecure, and that's not something that usually goes away very easily. Then she had trouble with her fiance -- and what do you bet it's for the same reason, that she's insecure. The other red flag is that she got disenfranchised by her own mother and her solution to her living problems is to get back together with someone she's already decided to break up before. So she is not a responsible person. She can't handle her own finances. She can't stand on her own two feet and support herself. She was living with her mommy. She is a train wreck. She would only be a financial burden on you. She would create chaos constantly out of her insecurities and I think it's very likely she's the type woman who, because of her insecurities and the way she "solves" financial problems, would line up another man and cheat on you just in case she needs to move out real fast. You need to let this one go. She's got a lot of growing up to do and she's just not a very responsible person. You can't have that raising your kids!
GoBlue Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I am in agreement with what most others have stated. You do realize that if the two of you broke up in October of 2013 and she was engaged in December of that same year something just isn't right. That means she would have had to start a brand new relationship and get engaged within two months. Not something that's advisable. She seems prone to rash decisions that come quick and do not involve thinking things through. It's obvious you cared about her so I am sorry for your heartache. Better a little pain now than a bunch of it later with a bad match. Hang in there and continue to do things the right way. It will pay-off in the end. Blessings.
No Limit Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 "K" isn't capable of leading a life of her own so she very willingly jumped on her ex's train. To keep her you would need to propose to her and marry her ASAP. Needless to say, with someone like that harmony won't last long. You dodged quite the bullet; and don't be surprised if she contacts you again for an affair sometime down the road.
Frank2thepoint Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Now, here I am lost and confused at what the hell went wrong. C'mon, don't kid yourself. You've known this girl's wacky behavior since 2013. Trust issues and having feelings for you while being engaged to someone else. You dodged a bullet. Let her go, move on, and do not go back to her if she calls.
Author jumpoff jorge Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 She's trying to contact me via her sister. Apparently she realizes she ****ed up badly. There is no coming back from that kind of disrespect, though.
Buddhist Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 You believe her. She's a bucketful of crazy and if in her mind marrying someone out of the blue is sorting stuff out, then wish her luck. And.....lose her phone number.
chantos Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 A very clean and simple rule of thumb is to never trust a woman who is engaged to another man and leaves him for you. It's direct evidence that she is unfaithful.
Moy Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 A very clean and simple rule of thumb is to never trust a woman who is engaged to another man and leaves him for you. It's direct evidence that she is unfaithful. If that's how you land them, then that's how you'll lose them... 1
Dork Vader Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Move on... She's getting kicked out of her mothers home for a reason. She's gone from moving in with a co-worker to leaving with her ex and getting married in the span of what? A few weeks or days? Who in their right mind does this?! It sounds like she is either using drugs or something and hoping the move with her ex will solve her addiction (it won't). If it's not that then she is using drugs and attempting to use her story as a means to get you to invite her too move in with you. The woman is clearly extremely manipulative and putting her interest first. Really just MOVE ON. It's not worth it.
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