PeanutbutterAndJelly Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I am dating a guy - our dates are decent, never knock your socks off though. When our date should be over - way past dinner and fooling around (not full-on sex but other fun stuff) he doesnt leave... He hangs out for 3+ additional hours. Kissing me, running his hands through my hair... Smiling at me when the convo has died a little. If he seemed over the moon for me I would get it, but sometimes he talks to me like a friend, not a woman he is trying to impress. Mixed signals much?? I figure a guy who only wanted the 'goods' wouldn't hang out so long... Also he is very good looking and wouldnt have to work hard at all to get the ladies... What are your thoughts, men? Im not worried about it just find it a bit curious. PS - i dont just 'kick him out' cuz im pretty laid back. His presence doesnt offend
Conners Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Maybe he doesn't feel the need to come on too strong and just enjoys your company as a friend and a potential partner? Whats wrong with that.
Author PeanutbutterAndJelly Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Nothing wrong with that, just unusual. Thanks for your thoughts!
Price2Play Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) If y'all haven't started having sex yet it sounds like he just hanging in there hoping it will happen?? Possible nice guy syndrome, Lol again the role reversal, this sounds like something a girl would do! Somewhat clingy extened stay 3+ hrs later lol. My bad this makes me chuckle....how old is this dude? Sounds like unexperience maybe? When our date should be over - way past dinner and fooling around (not full-on sex but other fun stuff) he doesnt leave Some men think this is what woman want, I completely understand how you are annoyed by it! Remember people are creatures of habit, this might be normal to him? Don't be affraid to drop some hints, yes I know you shouldn't have to...lol It's pretty obvious it sounds like you will need to do this otherwise this will continue to annoying you. Edited April 30, 2015 by Price2Play
PegNosePete Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Err, he enjoys spending time with you. I don't see the problem here. If you want him to leave then tell him you have something else to do or whatever.
Mrin Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 OP: I'm going to abuse your post here for a few minutes but please don't take it personally. It is just too good an opportunity to pass up. Oh holy hell, this post is a perfect illustration of just how screwed up dating can be and how sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't win. Ever. Period. So let me get this straight. I'm going to do a little translation: This guy is good looking. He comes to your place. You spend hours spending time together. Cuddling. Kissing. Talking. He talks with you authentically - rather than playing you. He isn't getting all needy on you (the not being over the moon comment). He doesn't pressure you for sex yet sticks around like he *gasp* enjoys spending time with you. I mean, isn't this the opposite of all the complaints we hear on LS about how men behave??? Viewing an invitation to your place as an invitation for sex. Being all needy. Pushing for sex. Playing you with chit chat rather than having genuine conversations? No foreplay/cuddling. Forgive me for singling you out but this sort of post is a reminder of just how NARROW our windows of opportunities are when it comes to romance. It is like we are the world's most picky Goldilocks right??? OP: Notice that I stopped saying you and started using "we" because as much as I like to SMH at your post - I get it. I totally get it.
Price2Play Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Err, he enjoys spending time with you. I don't see the problem here. If you want him to leave then tell him you have something else to do or whatever. They are "dating" not bf/gf, he's already going into bf mode = she's losing interest & attraction.
Male Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) This guy is good looking. He comes to your place. You spend hours spending time together. Cuddling. Kissing. Talking. He talks with you authentically - rather than playing you. He isn't getting all needy on you (the not being over the moon comment). He doesn't pressure you for sex yet sticks around like he *gasp* enjoys spending time with you. I mean, isn't this the opposite of all the complaints we hear on LS about how men behave??? Viewing an invitation to your place as an invitation for sex. Being all needy. Pushing for sex. Playing you with chit chat rather than having genuine conversations? No foreplay/cuddling. Forgive me for singling you out but this sort of post is a reminder of just how NARROW our windows of opportunities are when it comes to romance. It is like we are the world's most picky Goldilocks right??? . Just like I've been saying for years! Its always a double standard when dealing with women. If a guy tries to make moves on a woman, hes just out for sex, if he doesnt make moves hes a wimp with no confidence. Its always a lose-lose situation no matter what. Women want the guy to be able to read her mind and know exactly what hes supposed to do at given moment while interacting with her. As soon as a guy shows respect and takes time getting to know a woman, he instalty gets blackballed, and labeled by the woman as having issues, or hes not man enough, or whatever else they call it. They are "dating" not bf/gf, he's already going into bf mode = she's losing interest & attraction. Please explain the difference in how a boyfriend is supposed to act in said scenario vs how a "dating" guy is supposed to act in said scenario. Edited April 30, 2015 by Male
Author PeanutbutterAndJelly Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Thank you for your thoughts! It's so interesting how we can all see things differently For those that think there is a double standard implied here, there is none. I have made no real judgement about his character yet - it takes more than a few long dates to get to know that - especially in LA! He seems like a really nice guy and to be honest I dont mind people missing a social cue here and there (who doesnt right?). Its more the mixed signals I've noticed that give me pause. What's new though right? Welcome to dating! I Have to say you all seem like sweet people I hope datong is going well for you!
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