chelsey Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I met a sweet guy and everything has gone really fast, we're exclusive, I've met some of his friends and he's met mine. We've told most people in our lives about our relationship. I even thought for a quick second "this is going TOO well" but I've decided to just enjoy the ride. He's basically a perfect boyfriend. He works a ton though and seems to want to spend all his free moments with me. It's actually kind of rare to not see each other except when one of us is out of town or he has to work overnight. And once his job site changes he's even said he wants me to come visit him. Don't get me wrong i love hanging out with him, he's my new best bud. but I'm starting to feel that after a month and a half we're running out of stuff to talk about since we don't have a ton in common. we've talked about everything: family, childhood, hopes, past, exes, even what we'd both need in a relationship in order to get married or have kids. He's got an interesting job that he can go on and on about. I work in a lab with little personal drama and frankly... i don't want to talk science after i leave. also when he asks how my day was it consisted of seeing him in the morning then working in the lab (usually alone!) the coming home... I feel boring! I'm a good listener though. my hobbies are mostly solitary stuff like writing and painting so when given the choice i'd rather hang out. a lot of my friends are married or live in another state so they don't want to go out or do much.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) Wow..You just described my life exactly. I'm a personal trainer and most people find fitness boring to talk about. Also, my two best friends are out of the picture. One is back east, and the other is p-whipped in a LTR. Also, even though I'm very active exercise wise and love the outdoors, I'm a total homebody and have a lot of solitary interests. The funny thing is that I love my life. But like you, I often take on the role of being the "good listener". Mainly because my life is the same day to day. As I said, I am perfectly fine with this. But it's hard when you're in a relationship with somebody to constantly make new and interesting conversation out of the mundane. In your situation, I think the main problem is that your BF never wants to be away from you. Have you ever noticed that when you spend some time away from a person, that you always have things to talk about when you reconnect? But when you see each other daily, it pretty much always comes down to 'How was your day?" conversations. That's why you're running into that problem. As an experiment you could try cutting back to seeing him 3-4x a week instead of every day. Edited April 30, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Gaeta Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Being compatible is also being comfortable in silence. You don't need to be chatty all the time just enjoy each other presence. About developing a common interest? Example taking martial art together type of thing, photography, trips, etc.
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) I met a sweet guy and everything has gone really fast, we're exclusive, I've met some of his friends and he's met mine. We've told most people in our lives about our relationship. I even thought for a quick second "this is going TOO well" but I've decided to just enjoy the ride. He's basically a perfect boyfriend. He works a ton though and seems to want to spend all his free moments with me. It's actually kind of rare to not see each other except when one of us is out of town or he has to work overnight. And once his job site changes he's even said he wants me to come visit him. Don't get me wrong i love hanging out with him, he's my new best bud. but I'm starting to feel that after a month and a half we're running out of stuff to talk about since we don't have a ton in common. we've talked about everything: family, childhood, hopes, past, exes, even what we'd both need in a relationship in order to get married or have kids. He's got an interesting job that he can go on and on about. I work in a lab with little personal drama and frankly... i don't want to talk science after i leave. also when he asks how my day was it consisted of seeing him in the morning then working in the lab (usually alone!) the coming home... I feel boring! I'm a good listener though. my hobbies are mostly solitary stuff like writing and painting so when given the choice i'd rather hang out. a lot of my friends are married or live in another state so they don't want to go out or do much. Of course, you ran out of stuff to talk about. You rushed all this. You're calling him your boyfriend after a month and a half? This is the exact reason for taking it slowly. Having a little bit of mystery and some space. If you take it slowly and develop a "history" together of doing things together and sharing, etc. there are more things to talk about. He's spending all his free time with you and you apparently are doing the same thing. You need a little space to do the other things you like to do in your life. When you're involved in other things around a relationship, there are more things to talk about too. And, you've identified that you don't have much in common. That's something you should be evaluating while you are in the early stages of dating to determine compatibility, etc. If you want to improve this area, you can suggest doing some things that you both might enjoy that are different from what you usually do. Talk to him about how you are feeling. You may just be finding out that this "relationship" isn't going to work for you. Edited April 30, 2015 by Redhead14
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