Josmatjes Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Ok so I've been doing so great.. No contact all the way. Then I get a text from a weird number yesterday and it's xmms wife. Asking me a zillion questions. She does not know it was me and I prefer her not to as we both have same age kids. It's been over for 1 year now and she was ranting about texts she found from another woman to him that he obviously slept with. I was pretty sick. I calmed her down and I really tried to help her because she is in pain about other things she found out. After this I get another text...another number.... Saying ...sorry! She is relentless! From xmm..... I've been doing so incredibly good and everything came flooding back... Why? Why did he have to text me? I feel like crap for what happened Asti is and I'm trying to move on and Start my life over. Now I'm just sad again... Not looking for mean critism only support cause I am in nc and he broke it.... Btw.... I did not respond...
GoldieLox Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 My concern for you right now is, it sounds like you are friends or have previous been friends with his wife. You obviously know her personally if she has your phone number. You'd better be damn sure he isn't going to give your name up. Watch out for flying busses. As for NC... did you have his phone number blocked? If he got a new number or texted you from someone else's, it's not really your fault, Jos. Just be sure to block THAT number too, and be on your merry way. Process the feelings. I know that reading the texts must've brought everything back up. Your husband knows about everything, right? I'm not sure if he's the type you can talk all these things out with, but if he is, do it. Hang in there. 1
Blu72 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 How did she find these texts if it was over a year ago? He isn't too bright if he kept them. 2
Satu Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 *I am in nc and he broke it.... Btw.... I did not respond... *Just plug that hole. Block.
Hope Shimmers Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm confused... were the texts from you from a year ago, or from some OOW more recently?
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Asking me a zillion questions. She does not know it was me and I prefer her not to as we both have same age kids. Do you mean that your kids and her kids know each other? You know her as well? Chances are she does know it's you, otherwise why would she confront you asking about the texts from a year ago?
loveboid Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Yeah, I once had a gf of a roommate come up to me and complain about her bf cheating on her. After my stunned and sympathetic reaction she confessed she actually thought it could be me but after talking to me realized it wasn't (and it wasn't). So I say this lady probably has her suspicions about you and is gauging your reaction. 2
Author Josmatjes Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 The texts weren't from me..... No he isn't that smart...... Yes we were sort of friends before I screwed up....it definitely brought back feelings and I am trying to deal with them...
Author Josmatjes Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 My concern for you right now is, it sounds like you are friends or have previous been friends with his wife. You obviously know her personally if she has your phone number. You'd better be damn sure he isn't going to give your name up. Watch out for flying busses. As for NC... did you have his phone number blocked? If he got a new number or texted you from someone else's, it's not really your fault, Jos. Just be sure to block THAT number too, and be on your merry way. Process the feelings. I know that reading the texts must've brought everything back up. Your husband knows about everything, right? I'm not sure if he's the type you can talk all these things out with, but if he is, do it. Hang in there. I didn't block I deleted. And it's only because our sons are friends and they ride bikes a lot and it makes me nervous so just in case something happens I need to know. But truth is that neither one ever texts and I don't answer anyway but they were two different numbers this time which was weird. The texts were from another woman way before me. I kinda knew but it doesn't matter now anyway. I am still sad about my feelings I thought I was doing so good!
goodyblue Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Oh my god that is awful. My opinion is... ignore. Block everywhere you can and worry about your own mental health, not theirs. She knows he is a cheater, obviously with more than just you, she will have to deal with him and he, her. This is not your problem. Hang in there. It sucks but you can do this. Don't let them bully you. Chin up. 2
gettingstronger Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 My guess is the old ow is now the current ow, the wife doesn't have the strength to leave and he will never change. The good news is you have changed and didbt respond. Feel good about that! 6
Southern Sun Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Yuck. Don't you hate that it feels like these things cling to you like a wet suit? So sorry you had to even FEEL that way again. 1
Artie Lang Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 food for thought... maybe only a matter of time before you get found out. i suggest you think about a contingency plan before your secret blows up in your face. believe me when i tell you, this guy will roll over and throw you under the bus when the fecal matter hits the fan.
Hope Shimmers Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 food for thought... maybe only a matter of time before you get found out. i suggest you think about a contingency plan before your secret blows up in your face. believe me when i tell you, this guy will roll over and throw you under the bus when the fecal matter hits the fan. Her H knows.
jbrent890 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Her H knows. I think he means the BW. If I'm correct, she still doesn't know who specifically her husband had an affair with.
Artie Lang Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 yea, that's what i mean. if this woman keeps digging, she might very well find out about OP and her husband.
Author Josmatjes Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 food for thought... maybe only a matter of time before you get found out. i suggest you think about a contingency plan before your secret blows up in your face. believe me when i tell you, this guy will roll over and throw you under the bus when the fecal matter hits the fan. It's been a year and he still will not tell her. What difference would it make anyway? It's over for a year and it's obvious there are other things going on in ther marriage that is making her crazy. I'm just an outlet. I feel bad but not that bad because she has a choice to leave or stay, and if she stays then this is her reality. He won't give my name up. 1
sammy7111 Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 So are you still devorcing your husband? You want him gone 3 months ago.
Author Josmatjes Posted May 1, 2015 Author Posted May 1, 2015 So are you still devorcing your husband? You want him gone 3 months ago. Financially I'm not set to be on my own yet. My husband is a good man and we are trying but I can't see myself staying with him for longer than like three more years or so. He deserves someone who is in love with him. I love him very much, but we are roommates.....
Author Josmatjes Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Ok so I never blocked because he never texted and I wanted to keep it open cause our kids hang out sometimes. Anyway, crazy wife starts texting me then he does..then it all gets crazy again with him telling me that he pops in now and then because there is still feelings and desire their and he wants to see me and blah blah blah.... So I figured ok I'm just going to tell him straight to his face that it has to stop now and it's goodbye. Well never got the chance cause he never texted today or called. Just baited me yesterday... I am so angry at myself.... Who does this kind of stuff? Who says things than just doesn't follow through...well I just blocked him and his wife and i can't believe after all my progress I got sucked back in, in like a matter of minutes.... Why can't he just leave me be? Why do they do this? And please don't be harsh I'm pissed enough at myself for falling for it again... 4
Satu Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 No harshness deserved. Well done on blocking him. You just voted for yourself 3
DKT3 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Ok so I never blocked because he never texted and I wanted to keep it open cause our kids hang out sometimes. Anyway, crazy wife starts texting me then he does..then it all gets crazy again with him telling me that he pops in now and then because there is still feelings and desire their and he wants to see me and blah blah blah.... So I figured ok I'm just going to tell him straight to his face that it has to stop now and it's goodbye. Well never got the chance cause he never texted today or called. Just baited me yesterday... I am so angry at myself.... Who does this kind of stuff? Who says things than just doesn't follow through...well I just blocked him and his wife and i can't believe after all my progress I got sucked back in, in like a matter of minutes.... Why can't he just leave me be? Why do they do this? And please don't be harsh I'm pissed enough at myself for falling for it again... Its not him its you, you never gave up on the fantasy of being with him. You kept it alive, all he did is made contact. And him making contact is the reason you never blocked him, its the reason you got sucked in so easy, because its what you wanted.
Author Josmatjes Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Its not him its you, you never gave up on the fantasy of being with him. You kept it alive, all he did is made contact. And him making contact is the reason you never blocked him, its the reason you got sucked in so easy, because its what you wanted. Well thanks for the support! There may be a smigeon of truth to that but trust me, just a smigeon! And I truly did not block cause my son is over there a bit. But you know me best, don't ya? 2
DKT3 Posted May 8, 2015 Posted May 8, 2015 Well thanks for the support! There may be a smigeon of truth to that but trust me, just a smigeon! And I truly did not block cause my son is over there a bit. But you know me best, don't ya? Its great that you finally took that step. What I'm getting at is you have to let go in your mind. 1
Author Josmatjes Posted May 8, 2015 Author Posted May 8, 2015 Its great that you finally took that step. What I'm getting at is you have to let go in your mind. I have been... That's why I'm angry.... She started texting me and btw I didn't even know who it was at first.... I got sucked back into their drama and I have been doing great... When she started texting me I started shaking and felt sick... I truly am not cut out for this kind of drama and I hate him!!
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