jack2609 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Ok so here is my ever so complicated story; It starts about 6 months ago when I saw this girl at school and thought WOW she is beautiful so I decided to message her. The messages went back and forth for a couple of months and we soon had a very good friendship with flirting here and there. But it seemed that's all it was destined to be, an ' internet relationship ' so we soon drifted. Any who around March of this year I messaged her again because I missed her and it went SO much better, we went out on dates, had a great time and I was so so happy! One day she came over to my house and we spent all day together and all night, it was perfect. At the end of the night we both decided we should take it a step further and become official. NOW a month passes and we go out, do the usual stuff but just out of no where she breaks it off. She said she was happy she certainly seemed happy, but she said she isn't ready for a boyfriend yet and was very pleasant about it. Of course I was upset but here is where it gets confusing. SHE KEPT TEXTING ME. I mean all the time just as we did when we were together, and then at a party a few days later we kissed etc. And she said she missed me, but still doesn't want a boyfriend. So I shrugged it off as a drunken encounter and that was all. But no the next day she was at my house, we had sex, she said she still loves me and we cuddled all night like we used too. She did this a further two times and now we still text but I've not saw her for a few days. I do love her but I don't for one minute believe she can actually love me, she is rather blunt on text now but still talks about us going on dates and stuff soon. I LOVE HER and this is so confusing and upsetting. WHAT DO I DO?!
ExpatInItaly Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 You stop being her doormat and her Plan B, that's what. No, you're not together. She's enjoying all the benefits of being in a relationship without actually being your girlfriend. Do you understand what that means? That means she can date other men, sleep with them, and still hang out with you and get her fill of affection and validation when she wants. Once she finds a guy she's more interested in, you won't hear from her anymore. Beat her to the punchline and cut contact with her. She's using you, OP. 1
theendisnear Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 I think you should probably seek clarity from her. She says that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and if that is how she really feels, then it is up to you to set those limits. She's not necessarily "using" you, in that she probably really does like you as she says, but the key here is that she is probably fine having an uncommitted relationship, which again is fine assuming everyone is on the same page. However you don’t appear to be on the same page, so perhaps as painful as it may be YOU might just need to just say no to that kind of thing if it's not what you want. As difficult as it is sometimes to live in relationship grey areas, lots of people, myself included, seem to hang there even when communication could quickly solve the issue. lI think it's largely because we know if we ask the questions we'll not get the answers we desperately desire. Sorry you're suffering. 1
quattrob Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 Ok so here is my ever so complicated story; It starts about 6 months ago when I saw this girl at school and thought WOW she is beautiful so I decided to message her. The messages went back and forth for a couple of months and we soon had a very good friendship with flirting here and there. But it seemed that's all it was destined to be, an ' internet relationship ' so we soon drifted. Any who around March of this year I messaged her again because I missed her and it went SO much better, we went out on dates, had a great time and I was so so happy! One day she came over to my house and we spent all day together and all night, it was perfect. At the end of the night we both decided we should take it a step further and become official. NOW a month passes and we go out, do the usual stuff but just out of no where she breaks it off. She said she was happy she certainly seemed happy, but she said she isn't ready for a boyfriend yet and was very pleasant about it. Of course I was upset but here is where it gets confusing. SHE KEPT TEXTING ME. I mean all the time just as we did when we were together, and then at a party a few days later we kissed etc. And she said she missed me, but still doesn't want a boyfriend. So I shrugged it off as a drunken encounter and that was all. But no the next day she was at my house, we had sex, she said she still loves me and we cuddled all night like we used too. She did this a further two times and now we still text but I've not saw her for a few days. I do love her but I don't for one minute believe she can actually love me, she is rather blunt on text now but still talks about us going on dates and stuff soon. I LOVE HER and this is so confusing and upsetting. WHAT DO I DO?! Sorry to say you're not experiencing "love", you seem to be experiencing infatuation. You are infatuated by her looks, the sex and her attention. You both seem really young and have a long ways to mature. As far as I can tell you're taking this "relationship" too seriously while she doesn't seem to want to be in a serious relationship at all.. she seems like she just wants to take things easy and do whatever she wants. You guys definitely are on different pages. I'd suggest either to take it easy, as in don't take this "relationship" too seriously and just try to enjoy it for what it is.. if you're going to continue to want more and expect more from her then the relationship between you and her will just fade away. You sound extremely desperate and she knows this, as girls can sense when it. So in the end, just chill out, either treat the relationship for what it is (non-commited relationship) or just cut her out of your life if you can't handle it. If you try to force or pressure her, I can guarantee you'll lose her. Good luck.
Satu Posted May 1, 2015 Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) WHAT DO I DO?! Find a new girlfriend. You don't currently have one. Edited May 1, 2015 by Satu
ravfour4 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 If you love her, get out of there. If you can just enjoy the sex, continue on.
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