imtrying211 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 It's been about 2 1/2 weeks since my bf left me. I don't know when I'm supposed to start feeling better, but I'm just not. If anything it feels worse with everyday that passes and he doesn't come back. Some days I get through the morning thinking I'm over the hump, then I fall apart. Or like today, I just woke up with such sadness that I can't shake. I have all the time in the world to think, think about why he left, why he stopped loving me, why I don't deserve a chance to fix whatever was broken. I cry everyday, and it's not fair that he just moves on like life is great, while I'm here completely falling apart. I see him at work and we've talked a couple of times, then other times we've said nothing. It hurts to see him and not speak, but it also hurts to not see him. I know I need to avoid him, I know I do, and I tell myself that everyday. I don't want him to see how miserable I am, but I can't fake a smile, the pain is just too strong. I have so many unanswered questions that I know I should forget because I won't get those answers, and I really don't need the answers. It won't change the fact that he's gone, that he didn't want me anymore. I just don't know how to shake all of these feelings. I really don't have any friends to help take my mind off of things, he was my best friend and I feel so empty. I keep telling myself to forget what was and accept what is but it's so hard to do. I just want the pain to go away.
xinaxxsdertf Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 i was posting things like this just a month ago. If there is any advice at all i can give you (i bet you hear this a lot) and that is to go No Contact immediately. Not everyone listens when told this but if i had listened and went NC straight away from the break up, it wouldve hurt my ex a lot more. but instead i kept breaking NC and now its been 25 days and she hasnt contacted me The hardest part is going through life pretending you dont care/love this person. funny because ive been in NC for 25 days and ive been broken up for nearly 3 months and yet i can still easily say "i love her more than anything in this world". The only difference here is that yes i love her but i can NOW live without her. I miss her yes but it doesnt hurt when i think about her. it just reminds me i miss her but not in a heart throbbing painful way. I no longer think of what she is doing or who she is with. My number 1 tactic i used was i immediately deleted her off Facebook and instagram so i never know what shes doing. i always wanted her back, prob would still take her back too but time does heal. it feels like just yesterday that i was posting on here saying how do i get through each day. i came to this site every single night when i went to bed just to have a read and show myself that im not the only person going through this. It starts off just trying to get through a day, then a few days go by and you are slowly just trying to get through the next day without crying. then i started going out and living weekend to weekend. waiting for the net weekend to come along (weekdays were still a struggle) and eventually you stop counting the days. only reason i know my NC day is because i put it in my signature as a reminder of how far im slowly going this is the longest i havent talked to my ex since i met her like 3 years ago. thats progress if you ask me 1
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm sorry you are hurting. The bad news is it's not a linear progression. There will be good days & there will be set backs. I have always heard it takes 1/2 the length of the relationship to get over somebody but that isn't Gospel. 2.5 weeks isn't all that long. All you can do is pack up the mementos, store the digital photos or delete them & keep moving. Surround yourself with positive people. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss; in the long run that will help you heal. 3
SoThatHappened Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 When it will go away doesn't matter as much as the fact that it WILL go away. I've experienced the pain from a short relationship far longer than the "norm." Still, the pain went away. There are many things you will find that help decrease the healing time: socializing, keeping busy, staying sober, working on yourself, hanging out with friends, TRAVEL, etc. Use these things. Suffer and take things head on. Deal with the pain and everything that goes with it. then... it's gone... 1
joseb Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Yip - it's not a linear progression, you will have ups and downs, sometimes daily. For me, I think it got worse (generally) for the first month, then started getting a little easier. But that was with strict NC. If you see him and talk, it will drag out longer.
Moley87 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Entirely unsure I'm afraid to when it goes away I would to know that answer as well, generally when you know there is no hope of it ever working out I find? Coming to terms with the situation isn't the issue in my case I know things are over but there is always the unknown at this stage which as humans we hold onto. Only thing you can do is take it day by day and just focus on you , you'll fine a way forward just when is tough to say
Meli22 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 2.5 weeks is no time at all, it will be a slow progress where you will get bad days but eventually they won't be as bad and will be far apart. It's been 7 weeks for me, last weekend I felt great! But today I don't feel as good. The brain is so powerful in that it eventually just stops feeling like that. My mother always told me that eventually your brain will just get fed up of feeling that way, and that's when the pain starts to subside. Don't listen if people say that each week you start feeling better, you'll have good and bad weeks but at some point you will feel okay
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