Mjm1014 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Met a girl off OKC. I'd say the first date went well from my standards. Kiss was a little awkward at the end of the night, and I didn't ask her when she's free for a second date (should have). She usually texts me once or twice a day, some days doesn't contact me at all. Thing is, it's been 2 days since our date and I haven't heard from her...not even a thank you text. Should I wait for her to reach out to me, and if she doesn't figure she wasn't interested, or should I try for a second? If so, how long should I wait until I ask her? Call or text? Normally I don't have an issue trying to set up a second date but her going silent seems like bad news, and she's very attractive so I don't want to come off overbearing, desperate like all the other guys that chase after her. I thought I would have heard from her by now. Ugh. Suggestions? Thanks!
fitnessfan365 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 It's customary for the guy to plan the first handful of dates. So if I had to guess, I say she's waiting on you to follow up. Also, I'm sure that some women will send a "thank you" text after a first date. But the best way a woman says "thank you" is by going out with you again. Since it's been a few days, call her on the phone and plan the second date. BTW - Don't beat yourself up man. You'll get different opinions on this. But I personally NEVER arrange a second date at the end of the first. I like doing a text follow up the next day, and then calling a few days later and making plans over the phone. That way you're not putting her on the spot or trying to rush the process. Plus, you expressed interest when you kissed her.
Author Mjm1014 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Posted April 29, 2015 Yeah that's what I figured. I'm trying to go easy on her though since I'm sure guys chase after her left and right. I'll give her a call tomorrow maybe. Thanks for the opinion!
PegNosePete Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Give her a call, what's the worst that can happen?
Frank2thepoint Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I suspect she has little to no interest anymore. Call her as soon as you are willing to arrange a second date. Don't text. If she doesn't pick up, leave a brief message. If you don't hear from her within 24 hours, move on.
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 It would have been nicer if she said thank you. Her lack of simple manners does not bode well. Nevertheless if you want a 2nd date, ask her for one. If she says yes, great. Even if she says no, at least you are out of limbo & can move on to the next woman.
Redhead14 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Met a girl off OKC. I'd say the first date went well from my standards. Kiss was a little awkward at the end of the night, and I didn't ask her when she's free for a second date (should have). She usually texts me once or twice a day, some days doesn't contact me at all. Thing is, it's been 2 days since our date and I haven't heard from her...not even a thank you text. Should I wait for her to reach out to me, and if she doesn't figure she wasn't interested, or should I try for a second? If so, how long should I wait until I ask her? Call or text? Normally I don't have an issue trying to set up a second date but her going silent seems like bad news, and she's very attractive so I don't want to come off overbearing, desperate like all the other guys that chase after her. I thought I would have heard from her by now. Ugh. Suggestions? Thanks! First of all, it's a better practice to ask a woman for a second date at the end of the first date if it went well and you like her enough. Second of all, since you didn't do that and it's only been 2 days since the last date, you have nothing to lose by calling her and setting up a second date with specific day, place and time for next week. Not tonight or this week. But only call once. If she doesn't answer, leave a message and leave the ball in her court. If she doesn't respond, just leave it be. Making one call, doesn't make you appear desperate or overbearing. Two, three, four, etc. does. Call her today, don't text.
losangelena Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 OP, have you reached out to her at all? Usually, at the beginning, women tend to wait for the guy to initiate, so it could very well be that she's wondering where you went. If you want to see her again, just ask. People make this too complicated. Don't worry if she's getting chased left and right by other guys—if anything, that's your cue to be more assertive, before anyone else gets a chance to step in there. If she likes you and wants to see you again, you'll see that there will be few barriers in your way.
devilish innocent Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 You should be able to reach out to her after the date. But if you've done that and she hasn't been responding, then it's unlikely she's interested.
Gary S Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Why are you saying you should have asked for another date while you were on one? You did exactly what you should have done. You don't ask for a date while you are on one, that's needy... you should be too busy enjoying the date you are on. Relationships are made in the moment, particularity in the beginning. Should you contact a woman first after a second date? This is a tricky question. The answer is, it depends on how savvy a dater you are. If you are not sure, you should probably call her in a week for a second date. But when you get more sophisticated, you may find out that more than half of the nice women who are into you after a first date will send you a message or a text. You won't waste your time with the others, when you have plenty to pick and choose from. Why bet on a horse who won't run right out of the gate?
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