neowulf Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Lack of experience / confidence. Low self esteem. Natural shyness Poor social skills Limited ability to express themselves 1
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Posted April 29, 2015 Lack of experience / confidence. Low self esteem. Natural shyness Poor social skills Limited ability to express themselves Yeah I don't get why it seems reserved to guys though. And women tend to be more outspoken? Personally talking about gay and bisexual guys especially.
neowulf Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Yeah I don't get why it seems reserved to guys though. And women tend to be more outspoken? Personally talking about gay and bisexual guys especially. Women are traditionally better socialized than men. There's also research suggesting that the female brain is better equip for processing and expressing emotion. Being gay / bi is a question of sexual preference, not of how someone chooses to express themselves.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Some guys probably lack experience or confidence. So they want to work up the nerve to ask a woman out. After all, it's easier to text than go on an actual date, have conversations in person, physically escalate, etc.. I'm also guessing that there are probably married guys who aren't willing to physically cheat. But they either like the emotional intimacy or miss the excitement of meeting someone new. 1
Justanaverageguy Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I think it's mainly social conditioning and upbringing in western society. We have bred a generation of wimps. You are talking homosexual but it goes across the board for all men. Its brain washing from childhood. Masculinity has been named and shamed by the feminist movement. You do not see the same thing in many other cultures where dominant and masculine males are encouraged. As an example go to some south american countries and see the difference.
fred123 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Maybe its also cos girls have hurt us badly. Im scared to talk to girls now
Toodaloo Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm also guessing that there are probably married guys who aren't willing to physically cheat. But they either like the emotional intimacy or miss the excitement of meeting someone new. You have no idea of the number of married men who just miss being hugged and touched by their wives... Touch is so important to most of the men I know. Not even sex so much but touch, physical contact... Having been asked out by many a married man and declined them politely the one thing they all miss are things like holding hands on the sofa and cuddling while watching a film. Simple kisses while washing up or when they come home from work... Men are strange creatures. They tend to bottle stuff up and keep much to themselves... Even more so when it really matters to them. 2
neowulf Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 You have no idea of the number of married men who just miss being hugged and touched by their wives... Touch is so important to most of the men I know. Not even sex so much but touch, physical contact... Having been asked out by many a married man and declined them politely the one thing they all miss are things like holding hands on the sofa and cuddling while watching a film. Simple kisses while washing up or when they come home from work... Men are strange creatures. They tend to bottle stuff up and keep much to themselves... Even more so when it really matters to them. That makes me deeply sad... How lonely it must be. I'm single.. but at least I have the hope of meeting someone. I can't imagine being in a marriage where my wife no longer wanted to touch
Toodaloo Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 That makes me deeply sad... How lonely it must be. I'm single.. but at least I have the hope of meeting someone. I can't imagine being in a marriage where my wife no longer wanted to touch Its how many marriages end up... You can tell which ones are struggling as they don't touch each other much, if at all. When you look at a happily married couple they will touch each other a lot. It could just be on the arm as they say something, but they touch a lot. I think its why many men (and women for that matter) who stray, do... they just want to be touched and loved thats all... Mind you - there are far better ways of going about it rather than shagging someone other than your spouse! One chap I know, has been asking me out for ages, is married and has been playing away with quite a few women. I have managed to get him talking to his wife and they have started touching each other again. Still no sex but hugs, kisses etc. He hasn't been back to his mistresses since. He is absolutely over the moon and rang me just to tell me that she hugged him the other day. Seems to be men that are more affected by it than women. I have also noticed that men seem to suffer more in break ups and when tragedies occur such as death in the family etc. They take it on the chin but underneath it seems to affect them more and in harder ways. I think women in general are actually far stronger than men... So I can kinda understand why some may dither and fanny about rather than get to the point. They don't want to pull the plaster off because it hurts. Why put yourself up for pain if you don't have to? 3
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Posted April 29, 2015 Women are traditionally better socialized than men. There's also research suggesting that the female brain is better equip for processing and expressing emotion. Being gay / bi is a question of sexual preference, not of how someone chooses to express themselves. Oh I didn't know that. I've been with guys and always got a really like shy scared reaction but with girls were more vocal.
SmartDude Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm just wondering? You might have to look deeper. I get this accusation sometimes from women who want to know if I actually enjoy their company or if im just trying to have sex with them. They want to know like RIGHT NOW! It would boggle their mind to know that I am actually trying to get to know them. I look for those signs of restlessness, being too carefree and shallow in their thoughts and emotions. These signs usually mean that she is a perpetual dater who will not be happy with any man. It is a great way to make those types of women trip over themselves and expose their true intentions. The wrong woman can ruin a man's life, so their is reason for men to be cautious. Caution is sometimes interpreted as fear.
Redhead14 Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm just wondering? There are all kinds of reasons. However, if you've been talking to them for some time and you're getting the sense that they really are interested/attracted to you but hesitant about asking you out, just be a little more direct about your interest. You can say something like "I've really enjoyed talking with you so far. I'd like it if we had coffee or a drink. If you're interested in that, you can call me. The ball is left in their court, but the worrying, guessing and the fear of asking has been removed for them. It's not too forward and is demonstrating confidence on your part. If that makes them uncomfortable or puts them on the spot, they don't have any confidence or ability to think on their feet. Probably not a good dating prospect anyway.
Lokin4AReason Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 repercussion(s) I am guessing at how revengeful is the partner in crime .. ( equals low self esteem or still a child, IMO ) I rather be upfront w/ my intention(s)
Male Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 You might have to look deeper. I get this accusation sometimes from women who want to know if I actually enjoy their company or if im just trying to have sex with them. They want to know like RIGHT NOW! It would boggle their mind to know that I am actually trying to get to know them. In our double standard world of dating....it seems women are allowed to take as much time as they want to "get to know a guy" and you arent allowed to judge or question it at all. But when a guy wants to get to know a woman first, he gets labeled as having no confidence, a wimp, and brainwashed by feminists.
preraph Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I think it can be a few things. It can be that their parents never taught them to be an adult and they just never had to take initiative to get their needs met or had to work for anything. It can be that they're just paralyzed with fear in general and simply not risk takers. And we all know how well that will serve you in life. And it can be they have an actual mental disorder like social anxiety or any number of similar things that make them irrational. I really think when anyone is like this past, say, 25, they should put themselves into therapy and try to get to the bottom of it. I mean, it certainly doesn't make them bad people, but it's going to be a hindrance the rest of their lives if they don't deal with it. 1
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 There are all kinds of reasons. However, if you've been talking to them for some time and you're getting the sense that they really are interested/attracted to you but hesitant about asking you out, just be a little more direct about your interest. You can say something like "I've really enjoyed talking with you so far. I'd like it if we had coffee or a drink. If you're interested in that, you can call me. The ball is left in their court, but the worrying, guessing and the fear of asking has been removed for them. It's not too forward and is demonstrating confidence on your part. If that makes them uncomfortable or puts them on the spot, they don't have any confidence or ability to think on their feet. Probably not a good dating prospect anyway. Maybe I should try that. I just always feel like I don't feel like it if they aren't willing to put in the effort. But that makes sense.
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 repercussion(s) I am guessing at how revengeful is the partner in crime .. ( equals low self esteem or still a child, IMO ) I rather be upfront w/ my intention(s) Yeah but if I seem interested I don't get what the problem with it is. Why not go with it. Also I must admit with guys I am hesitant since I have always had issues with them. I get a lot of guys that get jealous or angry and that applies to gay straight or bi guys so I don't make a lot of guy friends. But at the same time it has nothing to do with that why I get more vocalness from women than men.
ltjg45 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Almost every person would say that I am scared and that would have merit given that I am a 28-year old male that is still a virgin and hasn't asked out a woman yet this year. In truth, I have yet to meet a woman I like enough to approach and ask out. The only 2 women I asked last year, I actually regretted that decision. I am glad nothing came of it. Of course, it doesn't help that I have basically no hobbies or know where to even look. It is difficult to just throw away my expectations up to this point but it feels like I may have to if I ever going to get a date these days....but if the prospects is like this on average, I am starting to wonder if dating is even worth the effort at all. Even at this point, I am still conflicted.
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 Maybe I should try that. I just always feel like I don't feel like it if they aren't willing to put in the effort. But that makes sense. Well, someone has to get the ball rolling. That's all you would be doing. The ball would be in their court and they then they need to put the effort into rolling it back. If they have enough of a green light as to remove their fear or hesitancy, then you give the "controls" back to them so to speak. If they can't or don't do that, then they aren't interested enough or are clueless.
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted May 1, 2015 Author Posted May 1, 2015 Well, someone has to get the ball rolling. That's all you would be doing. The ball would be in their court and they then they need to put the effort into rolling it back. If they have enough of a green light as to remove their fear or hesitancy, then you give the "controls" back to them so to speak. If they can't or don't do that, then they aren't interested enough or are clueless. yeah I guess that's a good idea. Thank you.
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