Thaddius Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and things are getting a little serious. We've recently had a disagreement because I have 2 close lady friends that I've known for quite sometime. They both have boyfriends but every once in a while they still come to me to rant, or ask for my opinion. My girlfriend doesn't like this because she feels that because I'm committed to her, I can't always be available and on call for my lady friends. Shes not saying I should flat out disregard them but I need to imply that I can't always be there for them every single time they have a problem. I need inputs on this because I believe that regardless of guy or girl, they have been there for me in the past and I feel like I should be there for them in their time of need as well. Am I at wrong? Should I cut back with my lady friends? Should there be boundaries like this?
neowulf Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I'm in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and things are getting a little serious. We've recently had a disagreement because I have 2 close lady friends that I've known for quite sometime. They both have boyfriends but every once in a while they still come to me to rant, or ask for my opinion. My girlfriend doesn't like this because she feels that because I'm committed to her, I can't always be available and on call for my lady friends. Shes not saying I should flat out disregard them but I need to imply that I can't always be there for them every single time they have a problem. I need inputs on this because I believe that regardless of guy or girl, they have been there for me in the past and I feel like I should be there for them in their time of need as well. Am I at wrong? Should I cut back with my lady friends? Should there be boundaries like this? Having encountered this before, I basically explained to my girlfriend that being there for my friends was part of who I am. So long as it's not every day for hours on end, I don't see what the big issue is. Sounds like it's more about her not feeling comfortable with you providing "emotional support" to these laddies. If on the other hand, you're getting daily calls from these girls and it's actually eating into your time with your girlfriend, then maybe it's time to reassess your boundaries.
darkbloom Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 This is tricky. My ex boyfriend used to be there for his lady friends everytime they had a problem. It bothered me because it would suck his time and attention away from me and other important aspects of his life. These girls relied on him a lot instead of their own boyfriends and it was frustrsting. I finally had to tell him how much of his emotional energy it sucked from him and let him know how much it interfered with our relationship. I think you should be there for your lady friends but within reason. Afterall, you're not their boyfriend. 1
neowulf Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 This is tricky. My ex boyfriend used to be there for his lady friends everytime they had a problem. It bothered me because it would suck his time and attention away from me and other important aspects of his life. These girls relied on him a lot instead of their own boyfriends and it was frustrsting. I finally had to tell him how much of his emotional energy it sucked from him and let him know how much it interfered with our relationship. I think you should be there for your lady friends but within reason. Afterall, you're not their boyfriend. +1 All about finding that balance. There's a fine line between "support" and "being taken advantage of"
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