Why Are Guys So..

[tampa1213]

Okay so there has been this guy at my job that i have been talking two for about 2 months now. for the sake of this post his name will be Jon. I work in retail selling cellphone, every customer we have had always say they love working with us because of our banter. the way that me and john worked it was like we were always trying to one up each other. he loved to push my buttons and i loved to push his. it was just some good old flirting. it was fun. well i found out that he was leaving in two months to go to college. he hadn't told me, which i didn't really think to get upset about but i did suck hearing her was leaving because i really liked him. well i found him on Facebook and we became friends on there and a friend of mine gave me his number. so i texted him and we would talk for hours on the phone and it was fun. we started talking about relationships and told me that he really wasn't looking for one. which shocked me because i always took that he was interested in me. even before i found out about him leaving. well one night we talked to about 2am on the phone and our conversation even went into some risky areas. we told each other that things won't get weird at work and we will continue on as nothing had happened.

 

the follow day came alone and i actually felt like things were better between us like we were closer. and i thought okay things are going to work out we will be fine... the next day comes and things changed.he took me off of Facebook. so i reached out to him on whatsapp and asked him if everything is okay. he advised me that we were good but he was worried that i was catching feelings. i went on to tell him i'm an adult and i can make my own decisions. he told me he completely understood and that everything was fine it was no biggie. so i told him okay if things are no biggie then why did you block me on Facebook. he told me that why i had to have him on Facebook if i had his number. i then told him i didn't care if we were Facebook friends but there is obviously some motive behind it and why was he make it some big deal. then he blocked me. so i texted him like normal and told him why is he making all this weird we work together why can we just be cool. he said thats all he wanted. so we ended everything and said we will just be friends. but he was so short with me.

 

i do not understand what happened we were fine one day. the next he's like cutting me out and blocking me. why can guys be so confusing.

[preraph]

You sort of stalked him, getting his phone number from a friend. He told you outright he's not looking for a relationship. Listen, every job I've had pretty much, people banter at work and it could be considered flirtatious except they don't mean it. Number one, at work ,they have an obligation to be friendly to you. It's part of everyone's job to be nice to coworkers, whether they like them or not. You mistook it and you took the liberty of invading his privacy by getting his phone number not from him and using it. He works with you, so he doesn't want to make you mad or have you complain on him, so he went along with it. He may have even gotten sucked into the "banter" again. But he's told you no now every way he can and you need to respect it, not demand answers, because you're who crossed the line.

[Vercetti]

Stuck at work with someone and having chemistry on the sales floor got mistaken for something else. Just cause you feel it doesn't mean anything is there. He isn't being odd but pragmatic. Be thankful he is classy enough not just to play along, then ditch when hits collage.

[tampa1213]

You sort of stalked him, getting his phone number from a friend. He told you outright he's not looking for a relationship. Listen, every job I've had pretty much, people banter at work and it could be considered flirtatious except they don't mean it. Number one, at work ,they have an obligation to be friendly to you. It's part of everyone's job to be nice to coworkers, whether they like them or not. You mistook it and you took the liberty of invading his privacy by getting his phone number not from him and using it. He works with you, so he doesn't want to make you mad or have you complain on him, so he went along with it. He may have even gotten sucked into the "banter" again. But he's told you no now every way he can and you need to respect it, not demand answers, because you're who crossed the line.

 

your stuck on the fact that i got his number. but i told him before hand that my friend gave me his number and he took mine and saved it in his phone. so the phone number crossing the line - is incorrect. sorry

[Satu]

Your work relationship was being changed into something he didn't want.

 

Be aware of boundaries, both your own, and other people's.

Edited April 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[tampa1213]

Stuck at work with someone and having chemistry on the sales floor got mistaken for something else. Just cause you feel it doesn't mean anything is there. He isn't being odd but pragmatic. Be thankful he is classy enough not just to play along, then ditch when hits collage.

 

it wasn't even just on the sale floor. even after work we would talk about just personal stuff and getting to know each other better. he would joke when people said that we were flirting. he would tell them that people are play match makers

[tampa1213]

Your work relationship was being changed at your instigation, into something he didn't want.

 

Be aware of boundaries, both your own, and other peoples.

 

when he told me he was leaving and didn't want a relationship but still wanted to do other things. i told him i didn't want things to be get weird with us and he insured me it wouldn't. i left him alone and now he's acting all weird

[Vercetti]

Phone number or not, what is the reality of the situation. He doesn't want to date and he is limiting your access to his personal life.

[tampa1213]

Phone number or not, what is the reality of the situation. He doesn't want to date and he is limiting your access to his personal life.

 

and thats why i'm confused - because one minute we are fine and the next he's making a big big deal about nothing.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

Maybe he blocked you on FB because you were getting too close to him and he TOLD you that he isn't interested in a relationship. Getting his cell number from someone OTHER THAN him and texting him regularly and talking on the phone 'til 2:00am talking about 'risky' stuff (was it sex related?) and relationship stuff is NOT what people who are co-workers/friends do. He had his part in this by participating in these phone conversations, so he's also to blame for you thinking that things were turning from platonic to um, something more. I do think it's inappropriate that you didn't ask HIM for HIS cell number and am surprised that he didn't say anything to you when he first got a text from a co-worker that he did NOT give his number to.

 

I think you pushed him to the brink and you probably creeped him out by stalking him on FB *and* obtaining his cell number without asking HIM! If a co-worker had done those things to me, it would've creeped me out too. What's done is done, OP. And um, next time you're interested in a guy, try to wait until he asks you for your number or until HE gives you his number. DON'T stalk/find him on FB...and LET the guy know that you're interested in him. IF he's interested in YOU, he'll LET YOU KNOW.

 

 

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[Vercetti]

While you're the one here trying to analyze the obvious as if the deductions could morph a foregone conclusion.

[Satu]

when he told me he was leaving and didn't want a relationship but still wanted to do other things. *i told him i didn't want things to be get weird with us and he insured me it wouldn't. i left him alone and now he's acting all weird

 

*I think that at that point, he considered that things had already become weird.

[Satu]

and *thats why i'm confused - because one minute we are fine and the next he's making a big big deal about nothing.

 

*I think you're really confused because you don't understand boundaries. You stepped over his, and he didn't like it.

[Diezel]

He couldn't have been any clearer, and he couldn't have been more respectful about it.

 

You're just shocked because he's not pursuing you. He's leaving for college in 2 months, why would you even consider this?

Edited April 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator