Taeyang Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 So my boyfriend has a couple of bff's, two girls, three guys, and his cousins. I get along super well with all of them, but for some reason there is always drama about one of his girl besties: Karen. The other girl I have that vibe that they are like siblings and nothing would ever happen. This girl Karen however, I get the vibe that he might have liked her at some point but knew they couldn't be together so he got friend zoned. He swears nothing has or could ever happen between them and I believe him. I know she wouldn't go for him and I know he's probably too good friends with her now. Now for some backstory, she used to date one of his best friends (reason #1 nothing would ever happen as he is very respectful of besties' exes rule), then she was married and has a kid, and recently she started to separate. He's told me they were really close as a group when she dated his best friend that they've even seen eachother naked accidentally when they used to all live together, i feel like he wouldn't tell me this if he was hiding feelings for her. Now at first he tried to bring me to all the events she threw, then at some point he was convinced that I was jealous of her, which I'm not, I even let them hang out alone and have no problem with it, if ever I only told him once that I didn't like them talking to eachother lovingly (you know besties kisses & hearts emoticons and all that) so he stopped, and I'm thinking it also has to do with me asking him why he wants to hang out with her by himself more than with me joining them at some point, and he flipped out about me not trusting him or something. But to be fair i have had trust issues for stupid little things he's done, just not with her. So recently I broke up with him, and he tried hitting on his bff's neighbor that babysits her kid, but he stopped himself because he realized he just wanted the attention after the breakup and he really just wanted to make things right with me so we got back together (and i know he's not lying i saw the messages) so I told him i didn't want him to still talk to her and be friends with her after that, and at first he flipped out saying it'd be awkward with Karen and that he would still talk to her if she talked to him or if she was there when he visited Karen. So at that point I made it clear it wasn't a choice and he deleted her and stopped talking to her, and I sent her a message saying sorry she got dragged into this awkward situation and that i asked him to delete her and stop talking to her, and she was really nice and understanding about it, she even told me she would do the same thing in my shoes. He got mad that I sent her that message but I didn't care, I don't think I did anything wrong. Recently on his birthday we went out to drink with all his besties, Karen went, and his girl cousin kept getting between them talking or innocent dancing, saying he should respect me as his girlfriend that he introduced to his family and shouldn't dance with anyone else but me, he got really drunk, and later i was outside talking with Karen because she was gonna leave since she felt uncomfortable and i was gonna accompany her for a bit, then came out my drunk boyfriend and he assumed i was the cause of all the drama with Karen and we had a fight because he kept saying that I was so jealous and that im the worst and stuff like that. The next day he messaged Karen saying "sorry for my jealous girlfriend" and she explained to him that it was his cousin and that we we just talking outside that i wasn't doing anything wrong, so he apologized to me... And again recently it was his guy cousins birthday and he invited Karen to come along but she didnt so I convinced her to come, and we bonded all night it was great. We both said we should hang out more, and later I asked him if he had a problem with me hanging out with her without him and he was kinda taken off guard bit said he was ok with it. So now it's her sons birthday and she invited us to the party. I didn't ask him directly "are we going?" I was kinda like "oh hey isn't it her sons birthday this weekend?" and he responded in a way that sounded like he wanted to go by himself. I mean every other party from every other bestie he's always direct and always asks me to go with him, but not with Karen's parties , and last one was for her bday and she invited me and he kept saying things like "why do you wanna go" or "cant i go by myself?" and i told him she invited me and it'd be rude not to go, and he was like ugh fine kind of, but i ended up not going anyway cuz i got in a fight with him about something else. SO I really want to be friends with her, i really like her and i wanna go to her sons party and I dont see why i shouldn't. But I'm getting a feeling he doesn't want me to go, or probably be friends with her for that matter. How should I approach this? what should I do to show him I'm not jealous and I genuinely want to be friends with her and that i trust him? What do you guys think about this situation with him and Karen? I even thought of just being like "I'm going whether you like it or not", but that might lead to another fight... Any input would help, thanks!
Recommended Posts