ConfusedInOC Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 ...pointing out your sacrifices to someone who just broke up with you is a good idea? Especially when the sacrifices are sorely pointed in your favor. I mean, in my case the sacrifices I made to make this work were ones I needed to make and though it may look like I did them for her, I did them more for myself than anything else. There are great examples of sacrifice (overcoming bad persoanl habits, taking her somewhere at 3am when you've had no sleep(and she knows it)) to sexual sacrifices (not pesting her about it when you want it, only when she does) to little sacrifices (running errands for her when she needed them, being patient and teaching her things, handling a sale for her when she was too busy to do it so she could study) to the ultimate sacrifice I was willing to make (sell everything I own, close my business and follow her to school). I basically sent her an email pointing out my sacrifices not to rub her nose in it but to get her to understand their importance. However, I started thinking about her sacrifices and well, she hasn't made any. Not a single one. Everything went her way. I suppose now that I think about it, she's probably reading that email thinking: "What a dummy, I had this guy wrapped around my finger and now that I am bored with him he's trying to make me feel bad..." Since I sent the email I am now in "NO CONTACT" mode. I don't anticipate I'll see or hear from her though her birthday is in three weeks and I still have to come by and pick my stuff up from her. Me=Big Idiot, Little Idiot or just a dumbarse in love?!
tanbark813 Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Those aren't sacrifices, that's called letting someone walk all over you. Aside from picking up your stuff, you shouldn't have any contact with her, not even on her birthday. Listen to the advice this time.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Those aren't sacrifices, that's called letting someone walk all over you. Aside from picking up your stuff, you shouldn't have any contact with her, not even on her birthday. Listen to the advice this time. What about the stuff we need to exhange?
tanbark813 Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Yeah, that's unavoidable. I said in the last post "aside from picking your stuff" you shouldn't have contact with her. IMHO, I think you should do that as soon as possible to get it out of the way.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 I understand. Being upset though, I don't want her to see me when I am weak, down and trodden. That's the problem. Given a few weeks I'll feel better about myself. Plus if she sees me around her birthday after 3 weeks of no contact, I think she'll start to remember why she liked me so much in the beginning and miss me. She's a lonely person, but even more so without me.
alphamale Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Me=Big Idiot, Little Idiot or just a dumbarse in love?! Sorry C.O.C., but YOU=BIG IDIOT. Don't bend over backwards to accomodate women. Be a man with a backbone. Hold your ground. Women will take advantage of you whenever they can. Make yourself #1 and her a close 2nd. And lastly, pointing out your "sacrifices" will make you look even weaker because you just reminded her what she got away with. It also make you look very pathetic. Sorry man but u need to hear this.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Sorry C.O.C., but YOU=BIG IDIOT. Don't bend over backwards to accomodate women. Be a man with a backbone. Hold your ground. Women will take advantage of you whenever they can. Make yourself #1 and her a close 2nd. And lastly, pointing out your "sacrifices" will make you look even weaker because you just reminded her what she got away with. It also make you look very pathetic. Sorry man but u need to hear this. No need to apologize. I needed a wake up call. I even agree to some extent. With her, she's not vindictive. She's not an evil or mean person. She doesn't like to take advantage of people. She is warm and caring. She just doesn't love me the way she thinks she should. By pointing out my sacrifices, I guess I wanted to remind her of what kind of person I was when we met and how much better I am now. Probably not the best approach but desperate people do desperate (and sometimes stupid) things.
alphamale Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC She just doesn't love me the way she thinks she should. she'll come around when you start acting a bit more selfish and dick-like. trust me on this one. you can still be nice and make yourself #1.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale she'll come around when you start acting a bit more selfish and dick-like. trust me on this one. you can still be nice and make yourself #1. She hates people like that.
alphamale Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC She hates people like that. all women say that but who do you see them f***ing? the selfish bastards who have big egos and make themselves #1. put 10% weight on her words and 90% weight on her actions.
brashgal Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Pointing out the sacrifices you made isn't going to make her love you more. It might make her feel guilty about the way she feels about you - geez, do you want her to stay out of guilt? Leave her alone for awhile, maybe she'll come round and decide you are the guy for her. Don't force it. And can't one of your friends pick up your stuff and deliver her stuff to her? Why put yourself through the agony?
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by brashgal Pointing out the sacrifices you made isn't going to make her love you more. It might make her feel guilty about the way she feels about you - geez, do you want her to stay out of guilt? Leave her alone for awhile, maybe she'll come round and decide you are the guy for her. Don't force it. And can't one of your friends pick up your stuff and deliver her stuff to her? Why put yourself through the agony? No, we don't have any mutual friends. It sounds weird but we're good friends and we think a lot alike. I'll leave her alone until her birthday. I can use that to QUICKLY swing by, pick up my stuff, drop her stuff off and get her out of my life for several months. I hope she contacts me again sometime in the future but if I know her well, and I think I do, she will not contact me again. She is really good at focusing on one thing and forgetting everything else. Including me. And I think she does it on purpose as that is the best way for her to forget someone and focus on better grades. The problem is, at this point it doesn't look like she is going to get into any of the schools she wants to get into and if not, she'll be stuck around here bored to tears. At that point, I can see her calling me.
alphamale Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC The problem is, at this point it doesn't look like she is going to get into any of the schools she wants to get into and if not, she'll be stuck around here bored to tears. At that point, I can see her calling me. Right C.O.C., you'll be the proverbial consolation prize. And everyone hates the consolation prize. Nice way to start out the second stage of the relationship. you should do all u can to find another woman to hang with.
westernxer Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Get your stuff and sacrifice her to the memory gods.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 20, 2005 Author Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Right C.O.C., you'll be the proverbial consolation prize. And everyone hates the consolation prize. Nice way to start out the second stage of the relationship. you should do all u can to find another woman to hang with. Funny you mention that. Three different girls want to go out with me. The problem is I am not really interested in any of them.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 20, 2005 Author Posted April 20, 2005 So, how am I going to meet someone I WOULD be interested in when I am single, then? LOL
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