sleed Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Hello, im 27 and im from Romania. I've met a 15 years old girl(she didnt tell me she was 15, i was led to believe she is over 20) and this girl is the same type of women looks-wise and personality-wise like the only exgf i really loved and had my longest relationship with(3 years). My problem is that she is 15, im 27, she likes me, i like her but we dont have the same dilemas and problems in our life )). Its lame i know, but she is the exact type of woman(the hot+delicate geek girl + glasses) i can love. She is not as hot as my exgf-love(maybe because she is still a kid) but she looks like 80% at least like her and it disturbs me... My question is : What do you do if you meet an almost lookalike of your exgf-love(only love) and she is 15, a kid and you are 27 and a fully grown man. She even dresses like my exgf. Its a bit humiliating to even think about dating a kid age 15. I dont think im gonna be able to date her... i already made a plan with her where we both pretend that she is 18, so its already crazy. Here in Romania nobody cares too much if you have an underage relationship... but still 12 years difference and the already disturbing facts that i shared. The only thing i feel like doing with her is to hug her, anything else is kinda creepy... she kinda looks 20 at least though What would you do if you meet your exbf real love at age 15(looking like a 20 years old dude) and you were 27? Thx!
CarrieT Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I was a 13 year old girl who looked 25. I was hit on CONSTANTLY and by the time I was 15, I honestly believed I was mature enough to date men in their 20s and 30s. I WAS NOT! Walk away from this girl, please. I beg you. Do her a favor and let her have what is left of her innocence adolescence by herself and exactly as it should be: INNOCENT. She is not emotionally ready for anything with a man of your years and even spending time with her will ultimately do her damage by making her believe that she is mature enough for a relationship. For me, it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized just how screwed up I was by all these men looking for a Lolita to seduce. My early sexualization by these men wreaked havoc on me. I am now seeing the early sexualization of my stepdaughter - who is 16 - by a society who believes that because she has the body of a woman, she is ready to have the relationship of a woman. It just is not true. Please, OP, leave this girl alone. If you have *any* feelings for her, it will be the best thing you could possibly do. 4
Methodical Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 What Carrie said 10x. I gather your attraction is due to her appearance...she looks a lot like your ex, and that's a poor excuse. She may look older than fifteen, but she doesn't have the life experiences of a twenty something year old, and is naive whether she realizes or not. 1
Toodaloo Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 What Carrie said 10x. And x another 10. Leave her alone. She is too young. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 You walk away. She's a child & you are behaving like a predator. If you can't walk away, at the very least talk to her parents. If her father doesn't punch you, you may be able to continue to talk to her -- think Duggar courting rules -- no touching -- until she's at least 18. When I was 16-17 I had a huge crush on a 29-30 year old man. My parents knew about our relationship & were OK with it. We never did more then kiss but when I was leaving for college he kissed me good bye, told me he loved me but that I had to go off & be free to go to school. He said that when I turned 21 or graduated, whichever came 1st, if I still wanted to be with him, we'd get engaged. I was over him by Thanksgiving because on my side it was a silly school girl crush. 2
Author sleed Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Seems like you guys went for the weird underage relationship went you had the oportunity, you guys had fun with it when it was about you and now you are telling me to be jesus pretty much. Can you give me any other advice that isnt something like :"i was the devil on my ****, you should be Jesus on your ****"? Thx a lot for all the advice though!
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 No I told you to talk to her parents. That is what my older guy did. There was no sneaking. If you have to hide it from her parents don't do it. I also told you my story so you understand that part of the attraction for a teenager is that you are an "older man". It's fleeting. Young girls change crushes about as fast as they change clothes. It's not real & there is nothing for you to build a foundation on so save yourself the heart ache. 1
Author sleed Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 I know it wont last. I knew on second 2 after finding out her age that it wont last.
TrevorDia Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 It's not that it "won't" last, I've known far creepier people do far creepier things with younger girls than that. But then, I'm a prosecutor Just please cut yourself off from her - if not for your own sake, then for hers. 1
CarrieT Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Seems like you guys went for the weird underage relationship went you had the oportunity, you guys had fun with it when it was about you and now you are telling me to be jesus pretty much. Can you give me any other advice that isnt something like :"i was the devil on my ****, you should be Jesus on your ****"? Thx a lot for all the advice though! With all due respect, I never said that I "went for [it]" when I "had the opportunity." I said that guys like you came after me and in my youthful ignorance, believed I was mature enough to deal with it. What makes you think it was fun? There was a mis-guided belief that I older men approaching me made me more mature than I was. Then, as I matured, I realized how f*cked up it made me in adulthood. I had to spend years in therapy and with psychologists trying to work past the idea that I was a worthwhile human being and more than a piece of meat. I advised to NOT DO THAT TO HER. Do *not* be a predator.
Author sleed Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 You know you are framing this as : 1.predator 2.pussy/normal man
autumnnight Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Actually, if you were in the USA, you'd be considered a pedophile according to law, or at the very least a sex offender. She is 15, you are 27. There really isn't any more to say. If you are looking for people to say, "go for it man and do the kid!" you are probably not going to find that here. 1
GorillaTheater Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 You know you are framing this as : 1.predator 2.pussy/normal man Well, heaven forbid you be perceived as a pussy. So do the manly thing and talk to her dad about it. Be sure to report back. If you can. 1
Author sleed Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 I won't have a relationship with her because its wrong on so many levels. I won't talk to her dad cause its an unnecesarry fight. I always hate dads in relationships. She was framing it like that, who doesnt wanna be a predator(the cool ones from the movies, not the pedobear). But all jokes aside i understand and thank you for the advices.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Any girl at 15 that would actually want to get involved with someone that much older then her is most likely going to have serious issues. A fantasy on her part is one thing, but really wanting a relationship is kinda twisted. I'd suspect serious abuse & neglect. Her turning 18 is not going to magically change it either.
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 I always hate dads in relationships.. Ahhhhh now I understand the attraction. It's a compatibility / maturity issue.
Author sleed Posted April 29, 2015 Author Posted April 29, 2015 Donnivain do you love dads? You play Starcraft with them or what?
autumnnight Posted April 29, 2015 Posted April 29, 2015 Let me ask you this...besides the fact that she resembles your ex, what could a typical, mature 27 year old possibly find appealing about a typical 15 year old child? This is predatory behavior, plain and simple. 1
cocorico Posted April 30, 2015 Posted April 30, 2015 I have fewer problems with her age (I've always gone for older men, and did so when I was 15, too) than with the fact that she resembles your x. That bit creeps me out. It's not her you're interested in - you just want another go-round with your x. Hello, unfinished business.... This will only end in tears. 1
Author sleed Posted April 30, 2015 Author Posted April 30, 2015 Cocorico she is just my type of woman. You can have a type of woman and there can be a lot of incarnations of that woman in the world, that look similar to each other. Its my type, i like it, end of story, i cant help the fact that they resemble each other, i like what i like.
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