Oaktree101 Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Hello all, I posted the other day about my breakup, see link below. This happened 2.5 months ago and I can't say she broke up with me blind-sided. Essentially, she was a narcissistic person that was very insecure, always needed my confirmation that I loved her, and tried to control me quite heavily. When she found out that she couldn't control me (she asked that I give up my hobby, criticised my body type) and worse, when I made her constructively aware of her own mistakes when those happened, I think I lost her. She told me early February that her feelings were gone and that she merely saw me as a friend. I was shocked initially but know now that we weren't meant to be together. She needs a small man that she can run, and that's not me. Still, she was a beautiful person and to this day I lie awake at night and regret what I have lost. I have so many flashbacks, mostly related to our wonderful intimate moments, and feel like a terrible loser for not having been able to keep her. What do you advise that I do? I've started looking into dating again, but so far haven't met anyone that I can fall for again. I have to add this was my first love, so maybe this makes things more complex. Thanks for your help! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/519483-my-rollercoaster-relationship
Author Oaktree101 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 She's on my mind most of the time. When I force myself to think that she's the past and I'm the future, I feel better tough. When I go enjoy my hobby again, now that I can, I feel better. When other girls smile at me, I feel better. Regardless, she is on my mind 99% of the time.
Strength in Healing Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I know the feeling, brother. Not a lot you can do, really. Except let time play out. Accept the loss of the good. And remember very clearly the bad. Remind yourself of the bad. No one person in a relationship of two can do everything. Like you, my similar situation haunts me. Every day it does. But no point in pining after a phantom. Remember we often forget the bad and over exaggerate the good in our own heads. None the less, I feel your pain. A year later.
Cinnamonstix Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Hi Oaktree, I read your story. Please focus on what you deserve in a relationship. I can see that many things were clearly missing. Your partner should lift you up and support your dreams, bring out the best in you, and love you for who you are. She sounds emotionally abusive and just not a happy, caring person. If you stayed with her long enough you would have dwindled to a shell of who you are, unrecognizable to yourself. You would be doing all the compromising just to be with her. You are fortunate that your relationship did not last for many years.
erklat Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 I know the feeling, brother. Not a lot you can do, really. Except let time play out. Accept the loss of the good. And remember very clearly the bad. Remind yourself of the bad. No one person in a relationship of two can do everything. Like you, my similar situation haunts me. Every day it does. But no point in pining after a phantom. Remember we often forget the bad and over exaggerate the good in our own heads. None the less, I feel your pain. A year later. I hear you here. Similar to my story. Memory of the dreaded breakup pain and anxiety still haunt me over year and a half since breakup.
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