My boyfriend's mom called his ex girlfriend today to check on her and to ask her will

[MiaMckenz]

My boyfriend's mom called his ex girlfriend today to check on her and to ask her will she ever date my boyfriend again.. Thoughts on this?

 

So I’ve been dating m boyfriend now for over 3 years. He’s 27 and I’m 25. We both agree that we want to get married and that we’re the “one” for each other.

 

So, my boyfriends mom is very difficult, controlling, sneaky and just overall not really a good person. We’ve had our differences, but we’ve talked through them a couple of months ago and our relationship is “better” now, but I don’t think that our relationship will ever been “good”. Our relationship got “better” after her son, myself and I sat down and talked things out. Below are a few things that’s made our relationship rocky:

 

She’s very controlling over her son

She’s said horrible things about me behind my back that has gotten back to me, but smiles in my face

She doesn’t really approve of me being with he son.

My family and friends constantly ask me if i’m really ready to marry my boyfriend one day because of how his mom is.

 

I try my best to tune her out because I love her on so much and I don’t want her to be the reason that we break up. I let my boyfriend know how I feel and when she does something I don’t appreciate, and he appreciates that I tell him everything.

 

So fast forwarding to today, my boyfriends’ mom liked his ex girlfriend a lot. So, today I found out that she called her asking her how she was doing and does she ever see herself dating her son again. This really made me feel a little angry inside, because his mom smiles in my face so much now. We’re even supposed to be going on a trip next week to my boyfriends little sister’s graduation, and of course she will be there. She even invited me to come because she’s “trying” to make our relationship better, but I don’t even know if that’s all a front.

 

So, her calling her ex girlfriend asking her that is so fishy to me. His mom doesn’t know that I know that she called his ex girlfriend nor does my boyfriend. I have a mutual friend that friends with his ex on facebook, and his ex girlfriend updated her status with the details that his mom called. I feel like his mom calling her just makes me look dumb, and our relationship too. I just don’t know. I just want to be more distant towards her because of this, but she doesn’t know that I know nor does my B/F. She’s so sneaky and fake. I’m kinda hurt by this situation too. Thoughts on how I should be towards her or how I should be feeling? And opinions would be appreciated.

[darkmoon]

a lot depends on whether your boyf can tune out his mother, and at his age he should be able to take her with a pinch of salt, and be able to shrug her off

 

is he always at her beck and call? phoning obediently? never manly around her?

 

just be polite to her, you will have done the right thing, but your boyf is the link to her

[d0nnivain]

Realize mom will never change. If your BF can't stand up to her & tell her what she did was disrespectful to you, don't expect he will suddenly grow a pair if you get married.

 

Think long & hard about whether you want to marry into this family. I don't see things improving if your BF doesn't change.

[sandylee1]

She was wrong to do that. You need your BF to be able to stand up to her. In your position I'd tell my bf what his mother did. I don't like that sneakiness. I've known mothers who don't like their sons wife or gf encourage them to cheat and cover up .

 

I would be very cautious of her. Can I ask if there is any reason she doesn't like you?

Did you start on a bad note?

[Syberia]

You need to tell your BF, and he needs to tell his mom that's not her decision to make.

[stillafool]

How did you find out she called her?

[preraph]

Don't even consider staying with your boyfriend unless he tunes his mom out and she has no influence over his decisions. It's up to him to put a stop to this stuff. If he doesn't, he's not a man to marry. She's a jerk and I wouldn't want to be saddled with her if I were you.

[Cinnimon]

I had an x mother in law that acted the same toward me. She acted like spoiled child and also acted like my husband was still her baby. I figured out that she was getting attention from him by causing issues with me. It was negative attention as he always sided with me but she also got what she wanted as in " mom you know I love you, what do you need to be friends with Cinnimon" type stuff. If I were you I would ignore her attempts to sabatosh your relationship with her son. Love him as you always do and try not to let her affect your relationship with HIM. She's looking for a reaction from you. Don't give it to her. Kill her with kindness. That will drive her crazy!

[smackie9]

Your BF needs to put on his big boy ginchies on and stand up to his mother like a man and tell her that if she doesn't smarten up, then the relationship between him and her will be severed. I agree if he doesn't man up, he is not the man to marry.

 

Remember when you marry, you marry into his family....you will be stuck with her. Just think what it's going to be like when you have kids....do you want them around a crazy for coco puff nutter like her? Saying things to them to manipulate your marriage?

[Fleur de cactus]

YOUr MIL is manipulative, she wants something that will make you mad. Being kind to her is not enough. Just tell your BF what you know and how you know it and make it clear that you do not like it. He needs to stand up for you and let his mother know that he is a grown up now and does not need her mother to play matchmaker for him since he is engaged now.