WhereSpiritsRoam Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 I've noticed that ever since I found out my last ex was cheating on me (after trusting her with all my heart), I have become a lot more untrusting of people. Even when I'm 99% sure the person is being open and honest with me, I still sometimes think something is up. This ticks me off because that's really not me, and I know I need to go back to my trusting ways to be successful in a relationship. I fear that my ex has caused permanent damage to my psyche`, but will I be able to snap out of these insecurities? I surely hope this is a temporary thing. It's really no fun worrying as much as I do, and that is certainly no way to go about starting something new with someone.
laRubiaBonita Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 the certainty and trust will return. Love helps a lot..........."all you need is love, all you need is love, all you need is love love. love is all you need......"
slubberdegullion Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 "Snapping out" of insecurity (or anything else, for that matter) is probably not going to be the way it happens. Very seldom do issues like that get resolved in an epiphany. I'm always leery of epiphanies because they tend not to endure. Like you, I've been burned, and like you, I wondered if I would ever find it in myself to trust and love again. But with time, and, more importantly, what one does with the time, you'll reach a stage like I did when you'll emerge from the fog of self-doubt and into the sunlight. It may take a month, a few months, maybe even a year, but you will get through this. What you focus on determines what you miss, so if you focus on all the times and people in your life where your trust is rewarded, you'll soon find, like I did, that the vast majority of people are decent, honest folk. One may not get that impression by reading the papers or watching the news, but decency and trustworthiness are the rule, not the exception, and by definition the exceptions are news. So trust the process of healing. And allow yourself the freedom to be pissed off and wary for a while. Also allow yourself the freedom to generate new trust. You're gonna be fine.
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