HimeChan Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 In September 2013 somebody new joined the team I used to work in as the Director's Assistant. This new recruit seemed to be nice and all, however I did not have any particular interest in him, especially due to the fact that I had to keep a very professional and nice-but-detached demeanour due to my position at the time (flirting with anybody in the team was a HUGE no-no, obviously). The relationship between me and this new guy started off on very friendly terms, especially because we found we shared the same passion for videogaming and music genres, something very rare in my line of business. We kept up our working relationship until one faithful day, when coming out from the office after a very long day, I saw him exiting the building just before me. He turned around quite casually and we happened to look at each other without saying a word, then we went our own separate ways. That moment felt like the strangest thing that ever happened to me and my heart immediately and unexplainably started racing like mad. During the following months, we continued exchanging casual discussions and interactions, until I finally moved to a completely new job in a different department. To my surprise, we kept in touch through e-mails and through our internal instant messaging system. We would go on chatting for days on end, always joking about the new videogames releases, youtube videos, etc… He also landed a new job after a few months and one day he invited me to go out for a drink. Although his behaviour had always been friendly and extremely respectful, I felt a bit nervous about seeing him in a different context from the office – nonetheless I accepted. Needless to say, the evening was a lot of fun, we ended up super drunk and he revealed to me how happy he was to have found somebody he could speak to as a friend, somebody who made it “feel like home” (we both live in the UK but we are both from different countries). After a few weeks, we went out to dinner and had more good times... That evening, just before parting ways, he grabbed me by my shoulders and gave me one of the best kisses I have ever experienced in my life. Following that episode, nothing really changed, we saw each other again the following month during a company Christmas party and then ended up kissing again (this time a bit more drunkenly, I have to admit), in front of our whole former team. (Luckily enough most of our former workmates were kind enough not to “spread the scandal” and just left us be). So far, this story might have sounded almost perfect… unfortunately the worst was to come. He started behaving in an increasingly distant way and I started to feel really bad about myself, regretting all the times we had together and calling myself a stupid for allowing somebody at work to get so close to my private life. I decided to text him one more time just to test the waters but he seemed disinterested in me, so I grabbed my pride with both hands and declared him “dead” to me. Little did I know that this was not over, as after more than a month, he decided to contact me back, pointing out we hadn’t been talking for a while and wondering “what ever happened”. I decided to play the bigger person and treated him in a friendly way again, until he invited me to his place to play some videogames (something we never got around to do but always planned to). We did not decide on a precise date (as I am due to go on holiday for a few days), mainly because I did not want him to think I was desperate to see him again – a feeling I have always tried to shake off since we got a bit closer than “just friends”. I am honestly at a loss now. I suppose I really like him but at this point I am not sure about his feelings towards me. Should he behave like nothing happened a few months ago, I know my heart would break… however I do want to see him again… What should I do – how should I behave?
PegNosePete Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 You could always try communicating? It's what separates us from the animals you know Tell him you like him and want to see him. What's the worst that could happen? Nobody ever died of embarrassment before. 1
Satu Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 No matter what you do, I would avoid any drunken encounters in the future.
Author HimeChan Posted April 27, 2015 Author Posted April 27, 2015 Thanks PegNosePete and Satu, both your pieces of advice make total sense to me, however Pete's one could be a bit more difficult for me to follow! I have to admit I don't drink that much at all and I think I have been pushing the boundaries a little bit during those occasions just because I needed to keep my nerves down... I am a little neurotic and prone to overthink things and although I am quite cold and calculating in my professional life I wish I was half as capable to manage my feelings and my thoughts the same way! I have found I really struggle to communicate effectively with people I care about for fear I will end up being hurt...this clearly doesn't help in this situation!
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