Tanya11 Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and our relationship is an emotional roller-coaster. When I first met him, I was head over heels for how much attention he gave me. Constant messages, calls, compliments, gifts etc. 2 months into our relationship he brought me a $600 birthday gift (a big deal considering we were both in university, and he only works part-time in McDonalds) I was taken back by how much he was doing for me, and really felt like I had hit the love-life lottery! As time went on, and we continued to get closer, he became more and more into me – still buying me loads of gifts, chocolates, flowers - but I didn’t seem to be on the same level as him. This began to irritate him, and he constantly complained about how he felt neglected in this relationship. Undoubtedly, when I was in university, I could stay up late nights talking to him, and meet him frequently. After I graduated, however, and got a job – things became limited but I still made the effort to see him twice a week after work while he continued his studies in university and working part-time. Recently, however, I started having some family problems due to which for 3-4 weeks I could only meet him once a week. He was also having exams so I felt that this gave him more time to focus on school. This totally backfired because my boyfriend went into complete depression because he could not meet me as much as he wanted to, he would literally lie in bed ALL day and not study became he was ‘stressed’ and ‘frustrated’ that he could not see me, and I wasn’t being as lovey dovey as I should. I told him that because I was having family issues it was hard for me to maintain that same level of energy with him, and I needed to spend time with my mom. He knows these are the most crucial exams of his life – as he will not graduate otherwise, and I kept encouraging him to study and stop focusing on us for a while. He became angry though, and almost broke his phone and laptop telling me it wasn’t that easy. Trying to be supportive as I could despite all this because I felt it was my fault he wasn’t studying, I comforted him – and he said all he wants is for me to treat my family and him at the same level, give him lots of attention, love, and make him feel wanted. He wants me to reciprocate the amount of attention and love he gives me, but it’s really hard for me to do that, because he’s on some crazy level of love with me. All this felt really good in the start, but it’s starting to feel like I basically hold the power of making or breaking this guy. He told me explicitly that “him having a successful life/career depends on whether I continue to love him or not” and this puts a huge sense of responsibility on me. I’m just concerned, because I know he’s a great guy, and no one has treated me with so much love and affection. I think his ability to be so sensitive, and loving towards me really attracted me to him as a guy, and I love him very much too. But I hate always having to deal with such dramatic situations all the time. I’m not saying, I’m a perfect person. I know at times I DO not give him as much attention as I should, but I honestly try my best. I don’t even really have a social life apart from him, and likewise neither does he – so I can sort of understand why he feels the need to constantly be with me, but how do you deal with a guy like this, I’m start to worry how much this relationship is taking a toll on both our lives?
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 Your BF is a clingy mess & always has been. He doesn't seem to be growing up. So unless you are prepared to sacrifice everything about your life to make this immature man child happy, I don't see a future. 2
katiegrl Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) Tanya, click on below link: Women Are Safe Read the warning signs of potential emotional abuse. There are 18 of them, and just from what little you have posted about him, I found ten. It also lists warning signs of actual emotional abuse, and I found a few of those too. Pay attention!!! Good luck sweetie and always always maintain YOUR boundaries! Edited April 27, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Recommended Posts