Samire92 Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 I have previously posted about my relationship. At the time my boyfriend may have been moving away and I was concerned as I would miss him and things would change and we may potentially break up. We spoke once or twice about it and he hasn't mentioned any plans since. It hasn't played on my mind and doesn't bother me anymore.. A new issue has surfaced which is completely my own. First of all, I love him unconditionally, I see his flaws and accept and respect him for them. He is someone I could spend a very long time with and on paper we are incredibly compatible.. Almost too perfect! It might be the 'doom' I felt when he told me he was moving away but lately I feel different towards him. I'm noticing his lack of effort towards me, we're not speaking everyday, which is fine, I don't need constant contact BUT when we do text he's very short and blunt. When I see him it's much better but he shows little affection. He'll put his hand on my leg when we watch tv but nothing more, I'll lean in to kiss him every few hours and he'll lean his cheek toward me without taking his eyes off the tv. We watch a lot of Netflix. He gets annoyed when I tell him I'm tired at 2am and that I need to sleep.. This is after watching 7 hours of movies or box sets, which we do every time we see each other. I'm almost always the one to initiate sex. I have yet to meet his friends and have only met two members of his family by chance. Are these standard red flags? I'm strong and independent in the sense that if this is over, it's over and I will most definitely live. But I want to make every effort to make it work but I'm that kind of person. My real burning question is how can I approach him about these things? The last thing I want to do is 'whinge' that he doesn't pay me enough attention.
BluEyeL Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 You just walk away. Just tell him this isn't working for you and go out find a man who is going to make you happy. That's the best you can do. Men will not change. They do not respond to words. You observe what he does and either take it or leave it. In this case, IMO, you should just leave it.
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 When he told you he was thinking about leaving, it broke some part of the relationship for you. In your mind he didn't love you enough & that idea has been eating away at you. Your statement that you love him unconditionally is a lie you are telling yourself. If you truly did love him unconditionally where he lived wouldn't matter & you wouldn't be having doubts now.
losangelena Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 Is there a reason why you always stay in and watch TV? My BF's default setting is "laze around," but if I suggest going and doing something, he almost always is up for it. Do you suggest other things to do? Do you like spending all your together time that way? You're right that complaining at him won't work, but maybe a change in your actions would. In what ways, specifically, would you want things to be different?
Recommended Posts