I could really use some on losing your lover, and best friend

[vivalalizzz]

I moved to a new college two years ago and within the first week I met a guy who would soon to become my best friend... let's call him George. Him and I were both in relationships at the time, so our love for each other grew platonically. We hung out three days a week or so for over a year and a half. At the end of 1.5 years, we both ended the relationships we were in because they were toxic. On the 4th of July all of our friends were out partying, and George and I thought it would be fun to go skinny-dipping. We ended up doing a little more than that, and within 3 weeks we were seeing each other exclusively. After 4 months of dating, we started spending all our time with each other. I spent the night at his house basically every night for 5 months. This was mostly because it was conveniently located near campus, and he had a lot of animals to tend to. We were very dependent on each other, for social interactions and everything in between. It was easy for me because I am a biochemistry student with very little time to spare. He is a biologists, who seems to have much more time than myself, and loves partying. Anywho, after about 9 months of dating, George takes a trip to Costa Rica for college credit, and when he returned I acted very distant. I'm not sure what happened that night, but I think I was expecting him to make passionate love to me, and he was probably exhausted, and I took it personal. Two days after that, we had our third bickerment (ever). We weren't calling each other names or screaming/yelling, more angry and frustrated. I left that night, with a lot of my belongings. Three days pass, and everything seems back to normal, but I start to notice he's distancing and withdrawing himself from me. I ask him what it's about and he said he wasn't sure, and needed time apart (but not a break). I asked him if he thought we were going to be okay, and his response was "I'm pretty sure we are". Well, not even 4 days later, while we're hanging out, I tell him we need to talk. I explain that it seems like he has doubts about us, and he sorrowfully tells me that he doesn't think he can balance a relationship right now. He said that it wasn't an easy decision and that the time he spent by himself was really enjoyable. He doesn't know if it's the right decision, but he doesn't want to keep withdrawing from me and hurt me more. It's always a sad sight when you see your lover weeping... I decided I needed to stay strong and not cry... so I didn't. I told him I understood. In the back of my mind I thought that everything may work out. Two weeks later, George starts sleeping with a friend of his. When I ask him about it he says that he feels lonely, and he knows that the girl he's sleeping with is just a way for him to cope with being alone. I believe him...mostly because I know the girl who he's sleeping with is graduating and leaving in a few weeks, but it still shocked me and hurt me immensely. We were happy together, and brought out the best in each other. A week later him and I spoke and he said that it's hard for him to stay in contact with me like we used to (when we were best friends). He says that it makes him sad to know that I'm hurt by what happened between us. It's been exceptionally hard for me because we share the same circle of friends, and he lives with and close to the majority of them. I also met them through him, so I am feeling exceedingly lonely. I recently called him and asked if he fell out of love with me or thought I just wasn't the right girl for him. He told me that wasn't the case, and that he just feels incapable of being in a relationship with such intense feelings right now. He also assured me that the intense feelings were positive. I can't make any sense of this... George and I were always laughing, and loved each other so deeply. If you love someone, you compliment each other, share incredible intimate moments, and are best friends, why would you leave that?

[Marco Valerio]

Hi friend:

 

You are not the person you used to be for him anymore, you've become someone removable from his life. I'm sorry to be so clear, but if you were that important to him, he wouldn't be checking out. He has taken the choice of living his life without you. There's nothing you can do, you should move on with your life too.

 

I'm sending you a very big hug =)