Drama created out of thin air? Jealousy?

[kaylan]

I didnt know whether or not this should go here. I feel it pertains to dating, but it also revolves around an old friend.

 

Anyways, I have a female friend who Ive known for almost 10 years. At times we have been distant, and at times close. We have had times where we didnt talk much because life got in the way. And one time where I stopped talk to her because I felt she was being a fairweather friend (as in she got very chatty when things are going south for her, but disappears when everythings ok)

 

Also, there's always been a sexual tension between us, but generally more so on my end despite that we would both flirt with one another. I never really had actual feelings for her until this passed fall. I let her know, she didnt feel the same way at the time, and so I took step back and we got distant again.

 

We've caught up through text or facebook very briefly the last few months, and today I thought Id reach out and reconnect. I proposed that we chill sometime in the future since its been several months. In between this time she's had a new roommate, a roommate which Ive remarked to her a few times in prior convos that is cute.

 

Anyways, after I propose we all chill out, watch some funny tv or movies, she says that shes not sure she wants me to visit right now and have me "perv" on her roommmate. And then says how shes dealing with a greiving friend who just had a miscarriage of her first child. And Im like "lol dude...why would I perv on your roommate. When I mentioned that she was cute...I was simply talking to you the way I always have." Which is to say that my friend and I have always talked to each other like bros...very open about things.

 

Anyways my friend goes on to say she doesnt want to hear about me wanting to get with her friend while we're hanging out...especially at the current time with whats going on with her friend. To which I reply "since when have you ever even been around me when Ive flirted with women? And why would I openly talk about wanting your roommate while we are all chilling? Plus you JUST told me about this miscarriage thing that youre helping your friend deal with. Youre really looking into what Ive said about her way too much"

 

Then she goes on to mentioning her friend's miscraaiage again, and how shes dealing with death right now. Then I have to tell her shes overreacting, and that I wasnt even rushing for us to hang out. She basically made it seem like I wanted to come over and bang her roomie while shes helping a friend grieve. Reality is that, 1. I didnt even know about any of that, and 2. I never said anything about screwing her friends. Ive merely mentioned a few times that shes attractive...and Ive said it in the normal way her and I always talk.

 

I basically ignored the whole "us" and "feelings" thing from the fall...and during our more recent re-connection talks of the last few months, I really only talk like the way we used to. So I dunno...for a girl who didnt feel the same way I did about her in the past...shes sure acting weird about my mentioning shes got a cute roommate.

 

Anyways...she kept acting moody, and after she said good night on facebook she blocked me lmao. So I texted her and said again that shes reading way to much into things I say, and that the drama isnt worth ever removing the block. Like jeezus christ...whats with some girls?

 

I thought to post this because I found the whole thing funny. Plus Im still exclusively seeing someone right now and I thought she knew that. So I find it hilarious that my friend of 10 years...the girl who Ive always talk to about my sex life and who I find attractive and fvkable....all of a sudden has a sensitivity to things I say. We've always talked to one another like that and know shes all uneasy about this *****?

Edited April 27, 2015 by kaylan

[SawtoothMars]

I thought to post this because I found the whole thing funny. Plus Im still exclusively seeing someone right now and I thought she knew that. So I find it hilarious that my friend of 10 years...the girl who Ive always talk to about my sex life and who I find attractive and fvkable....all of a sudden has a sensitivity to things I say. We've always talked to one another like that and know shes all uneasy about this *****?

 

Interesting. You know that even if she isn't directly interested in dating you that doesn't mean she cannot be jealous.

 

Otherwise her actions make very little sense unless she actually thinks you are a cheater and a perv. I count this as unlikely.

[gaius]

That happens to me with all my female friends eventually. =/ I lost my longest serving one, the one I had since I was 14 a few years ago when I started dating Disenchantedly. She couldn't handle that I'd travel to see someone who wasn't her. It was ok before when I had never dated anyone not local but that did it in. We've never talked the same since.

 

I lost another 4 year one recently, the downward spiral started after she found out I had been vocal.with a woman she thought to be beneath her. The strange thing with that one was I would have dated her but she never really gave any go ahead vibes for that. Just started getting really jealous over other women after a couple years. I tried to placate her by basically insinuating I'd rather date her while telling her about anything I had going on, which was basically true, but that totally blew up like an atom bomb.

 

I don't think there's any right answer for these situations sometimes.

[Popsicle]

She thought you reconnected with her to perv on HER some more, which was welcomed as an ego boost, but no, you reconnected with her to perv on other girls and she don't wanna be bothered with that.

 

You two are better off not being friends. Everyone will be happier that way.