ixlp4c4ixl Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 Hi everyone, so to get everyone who chimes in on the same page, here's some back story... About 8 months ago my ex gf became pregnant. I find out she was also seeing her ex bf behind my back so I completely withdrew when she claimed it was mine at the beginning. Fast forward couple months and she now says its her ex bfs (even though no paternity test has been done). I take this as my opportunity to completely go NC and I did. Now, last time i ran into her was 5 months ago and we chatted for a couple of minutes. She kept trying to message me for small talk afterwards but I ended up ignoring her. Been NC still, but I've been creepin her FB to see when she gives birth, here's the kicker, her best friend whom she's jelous of, uploaded a pic and I ended up liking it and my ex ended up blocking me on FB after that (suppressed feelings much?) Where I need advice now is that, she's due to give birth anytime this month. As far as I am concerned I have been doing the right thing by keeping NC. Would now be the time to break NC and once and for all find out what is going on with her and the child? There's still a 50 50 chance the kid is mine and I don't want my ex coming to me with these news unexpectedly. How could I go about approaching the situation. I should also add that since I've been on NC I have felt a lot better. I can not imagine seeing myself talking to her again any moment soon. It depresses me even thinking about having to talk to her. Is that supposed to be normal?
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 If she comes to you demanding child support, you get a paternity test. If the baby is yours you do right by the child -- which is either child support & interaction or you sign away your parental rights. If she never darkens your doorstep again, thank your lucky stars. 3
sowhathuh Posted April 27, 2015 Posted April 27, 2015 If it is your kid you may regret missing the birth. Contact her & feel her out about being around for the birth....get a paternity test ASAP Good luck!
Author ixlp4c4ixl Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Thanks, I appreciate the responses even though they're mixed answers lol. Here's the thing, say I stay NC. What if she doesn't end up contacting me at all? She's the type that doesn't chase or reach out because she's afraid of rejection and is too prideful to show weakness. She's also the type that is willing to take care of things herself, even if it doesn't work out. I have this gut feeling that there's a big possibility its mine. I just cant find it in myself to muster the courage and also invest the energy into finding out what exactly the deal is. I really don't want to waste anymore time on her...but I'm afraid i might just have to go in for one last round. What do you guys think? To talk or wait. I have to make up my mind...
Author ixlp4c4ixl Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 It would really suck for the baby to be mine and end up missing the baby's birth because of NC and her stupidity. Damnit, this is killing me. I could never forgive her for it, if it ends up being true. Is NC, really, the right thing to do? Is this what a real man would do?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 It would really suck for the baby to be mine and end up missing the baby's birth because of NC and her stupidity. Damnit, this is killing me. I could never forgive her for it, if it ends up being true. Is NC, really, the right thing to do? Is this what a real man would do? Yours or not, there's not way of knowing if she would let you be present for the delivery. NC seems like the right thing to do from my perspective. What's your definition of a "real man"?
Author ixlp4c4ixl Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 Yours or not, there's not way of knowing if she would let you be present for the delivery. NC seems like the right thing to do from my perspective. What's your definition of a "real man"? My definition of a real man is someone who takes appropriate action. Someone who is considerate of others and doesn't run away from his problems. I feel like Im just standing on the sidelines, waiting for something to happen or not happen.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 My definition of a real man is someone who takes appropriate action. Someone who is considerate of others and doesn't run away from his problems. I feel like Im just standing on the sidelines, waiting for something to happen or not happen. sometimes the appropriate/best action is no action at all. 1
Author ixlp4c4ixl Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 sometimes the appropriate/best action is no action at all. Then help me out here, man. What do you recommend I do? Stay out of contact until she contacts me about something concerning the child and demand a dna test if it does end up happenning?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 28, 2015 Posted April 28, 2015 Then help me out here, man. What do you recommend I do? Stay out of contact until she contacts me about something concerning the child and demand a dna test if it does end up happening? That is exactly what I recommend. Even if she does contact after the baby is born, at least you will have had enough time to clear your head and be in more of a position to make decisions instead of knee jerk reactions. 1
Author ixlp4c4ixl Posted April 28, 2015 Author Posted April 28, 2015 That is exactly what I recommend. Even if she does contact after the baby is born, at least you will have had enough time to clear your head and be in more of a position to make decisions instead of knee jerk reactions. Alright, thanks alot for the advice man. I will remain NC and live on with my life. Will update if something comes up!
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