phi1618 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Recently met a girl in my graduate program. We hit it off from the beginning--ended up going back together the first night we met. We've hooked up once more since and stayed up almost all night talking. At first I thought it was just a hookup thing (we both lack free time and have a lot of stress--so a friends with benefits situation is ideal), but there were some signs that made me believe she wanted more. Since I could see myself getting feelings for her, I went ahead and asked her out. To my surprise (and the surprise of some of our mutual friends), she rejected me--told me she didn't see us going anywhere but wanted to remain friends. Prior to my asking her on a date, it was pretty clear that we would continue hooking up. Have I ruined that? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Yeah, you probably did... Next time just "go with the flow" and ask no questions...if one day she sees you as more, she'll let you know. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 it was good of you to ask. Maybe try and make it more casual and light next time, to reassure her she is understood. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 it was good of you to ask. Maybe try and make it more casual and light next time, to reassure her she is understood. Agreed... Cuz, being a person who prefers limited contact with guys and people in general...I don't respond well to pressure. I'm just saying, she probably likes you a lot too...but, she can only handle a certain amount of contact and when you announce what you did - she might get scared. Hope that doesn't confuse you... Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 If you were already starting to feel something for her those feelings would have only increased the more time you spent with her. It would had led to more mixed messages, confusion, and ultimately heartbreak. That is the last thing you need when you are dealing with the ongoing stress of your graduate program. Think about how much harder it would be dealing with that type of rejection knowing she was going to be there all the time. This was a blessing in disguise, trust me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Prior to my asking her on a date, it was pretty clear that we would continue hooking up. Have I ruined that? It wasn't 'ruined', rather you wanted a different kind of relationship with her and she refused that and now you both move on because that's authentic. Your prior casual sex was what it was while it was. On to the next. Link to post Share on other sites
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