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When it is appropriate to say you're only looking for something casual?

pleasedtomeetyou

By pleasedtomeetyou
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pleasedtomeetyou Member

pleasedtomeetyou

Posted
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Hey all,

 

So i've been doing OLD and i'd like something more than a ONS, but not a full relationship. Now, I usually bring this up at the end of the first date, but some of my friends have been saying that is way too soon and I am scaring potential people away by doing this.

 

Anybody got any thoughts on this?

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted

from the very beginning ....anything else would be unfair..be transparent from the beginning....you need to have interactions with people who want the same thing.......if you dont let potentials know exactly what you want...how is that fair?...its rather selfish of you if you werent to tell the truth.deb

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
Hey all,

 

So i've been doing OLD and i'd like something more than a ONS, but not a full relationship. Now, I usually bring this up at the end of the first date, but some of my friends have been saying that is way too soon and I am scaring potential people away by doing this.

 

Anybody got any thoughts on this?

 

You should put that in your profile !!! end of story! There are plenty of women out there looking for the same and these are the women you want to meet over coffee with.

 

Also, only message women with the same goal as you, don't message women that have put in their profile they are looking for long term.

 

I can't believe your friends want you to DRAG a poor woman along before telling her you are just looking for casual. Idiots!! (sorry I am in a bad mood)

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carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

Yeah, that delineation is easy enough to cover prior to a first meeting. It's essentially a relationship type, hence there's no need nor reason to meet people who aren't interested in that relationship type.

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pleasedtomeetyou Member

pleasedtomeetyou

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My concern is that a-lot of people assume that 'looking for something casual' is a euphemism for hook-up-and-never-call-again because i'm sure lots of men have done this before. I don't want to be lumped in with that same crowd.

 

Also, I kind of like going into a first date not knowing much about the person. You get such a better read of what they're actually like when you don't know much about them and they don't know much about you. When you mention these things, people's interactions with you change and become less genuine.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

I'd probably cover it in the profile area with something like 'I've been married and am not interested in going down that path again but am interested in dating and socializing with like-minded ladies'.

SawtoothMars Established Member

SawtoothMars

Posted
Posted
Hey all,

So i've been doing OLD and i'd like something more than a ONS, but not a full relationship. Now, I usually bring this up at the end of the first date, but some of my friends have been saying that is way too soon and I am scaring potential people away by doing this.

Anybody got any thoughts on this?

 

It's best to wait until things get sexual. :cool:

casey.lives Established Member

casey.lives

Posted
Posted

just flirt with her like she's just a slut and she will play with it and like it or stand up against it if she isn't down. you don't need to be so direct :p As it heats up, say : im not ready for something serious... :p : P

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