MIAho Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 For the past week, I've been communicating with this woman on eHarmony. With most woman I'm matched with, I get right to the point and by the 3rd or 4th message, I always ask the woman for her phone number. Most matches who I have met off that site usually give me their numbers without hesitation. When I asked this woman for her number, she replied that "wanted to exchange a few more messages before MAYBE exchanging numbers." In my experience on eHarmony, the matches who say they want to wait and chat more are the ones that usually waste my time and I never end up meeting. I don't like getting jerked around and I think I should just walk away. What would you do?
losangelena Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Being a female, I guess it's a bit different for me, because guys are usually the one to ask. But, I'd say, what would sending a few more messages back and forth cost you? The "might" does sound a little weird, but take her at her word, and if in a few more messages she still won't cough it up, then cut your losses. There's no point in being inflexible. FWIW, when I was OLD, the number would usually be the last thing exchanged. Typically first meets would be set up within several messages, and it wasn't until then that digits were given.
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 What do you want to do? I'd probably be straight with her & say "I'd really like your number because in my experience the people who are hesitant about giving out a number have wasted my time in the past. I would like to get to know you better but I'm interpreting your hesitation as you not being into me which is fine but I need some direction here." She may give it to you. She may think you're a jerk but either way you end the holding pattern.
Author MIAho Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 What do you want to do? I'd probably be straight with her & say "I'd really like your number because in my experience the people who are hesitant about giving out a number have wasted my time in the past. I would like to get to know you better but I'm interpreting your hesitation as you not being into me which is fine but I need some direction here." She may give it to you. She may think you're a jerk but either way you end the holding pattern. I like your idea of being straight with her but I don't think I'd give her an ultimatum. If she closes me, then she probably wasn't that interested in me in the first place. I do online dating to meet people, not to have pen pals or online chat buddies. If she doesn't have the same idea, then it's probably good that it doesn't progress.
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