nero1 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I've seen a new girl a couple of times since (painfully) splitting with my ex, and despite my best efforts I can't just see her for how she is, I'm always comparing her to my ex. Her butt, her laugh, her nose, her intelligence, you name it. Is this normal or what? I can't imagine it'll fade until I fall harder for someone than I did for my ex. My ex and I only split because of her religious family. It hurt like hell. Part of me actually believed she'd choose me over them - how dumb can you be, right? We split about 6 months ago.
badpenny Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 You're not ready to date. You're gap-filling and your current 'GF' is a rebound. Terribly unfair on your broken heart, to try to force it where it's unwilling to go, but more importantly, terribly unfair on this girl who may not know she has some serious competition in someone from your past - and will in fact, never achieve equal status. She deserves to be loved completely and singularly for whom and what she is - and not be considered some poor second copy...
Audacious Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Dude , it doesn't matter what was the reason you and your ex broke up , she is your EX and you need to move on , if it takes longer then so be it , you have to be completely over her before you get into a relationship do not compare the two , they're two different women , two different bodies , two different personalities , just enjoy what you have , if you can't just do not make your new girl miserable because of your ex . Lets face it , if her family was literally , religiously rejected you , then what are the chances of you and her being together ? and , this might sound harsh but it is the truth that you have to face pal : " If she loved you enough , she would have left her family to be with you , sometimes it is as simple as that " . You still have residual feelings for your ex , which is perfectly normal , all human beings have those but it is your choice to rid yourself of those feelings or be shackled by them .
Leigh 87 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 You're just not enamoured with her. Most men aren't enamoured with their wives initially and it takes a lot of time for them to warm up and feel " thrilled" if I am smitten with a man, I never compare him to my exes....... But even soon after a break up. If I'm really into him I just don't compare him to exes:sick:
badpenny Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 You're just not enamoured with her. Most men aren't enamoured with their wives initially and it takes a lot of time for them to warm up and feel " thrilled" Having been married three times, I can tell you that with almost virtual certainty, you are quite incorrect on this.
Author nero1 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 She deserves to be loved completely and singularly for whom and what she is - and not be considered some poor second copy... Definitely agree to.some extent, however I don't see her as inferior to my ex in every way. Obviously, I can't expect at this time to have the same level of connection with this girl as I had with my ex; I'd just like to feel like that could happen some day, and be able to focus on my relationship with her rather than my relationship with the ex. Guess it'll just take time?
badpenny Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 ..... Obviously, I can't expect at this time to have the same level of connection with this girl as I had with my ex; I'd just like to feel like that could happen some day, and be able to focus on my relationship with her rather than my relationship with the ex. Guess it'll just take time? If you believe this relationship could get as serious as the last, then it will take dedication and desire on your part - and I'm not talking physical desire. You HAVE to want this. You have to be determined to leave the past behind, and stop yourself comparing. Time is immaterial, because that differs from person to person. But the willingness to let go of your ex, put the past behind you and move on, with this lady - is up to your end to work on.
Recommended Posts