BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 If you met someone on an OLD site or IRL who you were attracted to initially and you set up a date with them...and then they showed up to the date using crutches, a cane, a walker or they were in an arm/leg cast or in a wheelchair, would that be a turn off to you? Would you feel disgusted at them because they needed assistance to get around with some sort of device? Would you have preferred that they told you about their injury or temporary disability so you could've rescheduled the date when they were healed? Or would them showing up with a device to help them get around not bother you at all? Is a person using such a device to help them be mobile be a sexual turn off on a date, because it shows them as being weak or because it reminds you of an old person? All I know is, if I ever break an arm, a leg, a hip, or God forbid have any other injuries that require the use of an implement or a device to help me get around, I will NEVER go out on a date with anyone until I'm healed!! I'd NEVER want a guy to look at me and be disgusted because I'm using crutches or look at me and be turned off because I'm not walking in heels and a mini skirt but instead I'm wearing my Skechers and jeans while using a cane to get around because I hurt my hip in a jet ski accident! Not saying that it's 'superficial' for somebody to be turned off or embarrassed by being seen with someone who needs help to get around using crutches or whatever. But I mean, wow. There seems to be a LOT of requirements and a standard of perfection from people when they're out on a date with someone! If the person they're dating doesn't look perfect, isn't in perfect health, has a broken bone or injury of some sort, doesn't look normal in ANY way because they need crutches, a wheelchair or is wearing a cast, then they're S.O.O.L. ($hit Out Of Luck). .
DatingDirection Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Not at all. Id want to help them heal faster...and if I really liked the person, id bake them cookies, or do some fun, cute things with them, to make them laugh to forget about what disability their going through. 7
preraph Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I think out of an abundance of caution, before the first meeting, the person should warn the date, Hey, by the way, I broke my leg and I'm still in a cast. Then the date should be very flexible about where they go and what they do to accommodate that. I can't imagine getting mad about such a thing. But a permanent disability, well, keeping that hidden for very long is dishonest, because it very well be the defining thing about the person since it affects every aspect of their existance, so not fair to leave that out. I'd love it if a guy was injured on a first date, but that's just me. It would give me an excuse to pamper him and be more familiar with him than I might otherwise be that soon, you know, taking care of him a little. 2
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 Not at all. Id want to help them heal faster...and if I really liked the person, id bake them cookies, or do some fun, cute things with them, to make them laugh to forget about what disability their going through. This is probably THE sweetest post I've ever read on this forum. It's awesome to see that there's at least one person who isn't so hard on people who happen to have had an accident and are healing from it. . 4
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I am dating someone right now who can barely use his arm or leg, and for six months I didn't mind. We are stuck at home a lot, but it's cozy. Their true colors come out when you witness them living with this difficulty. And when you do special things for them, like cook surprise meals or pick up meds or hide their favorite cookies in their robe pocket, they might appreciate you more than if they were ambulatory. I also like playing nurse…. 4
writergal Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 BOZG, So, did you meet an OLD guy for a date and find out he had a temporary disability on the date, but not beforehand? I'm not sure what you're asking. Are you asking if you would be upset to not be told ahead of the date, that your date had a temporary disability that required a cast or crutches? I think most people would be honest and let you know before the date if they were on crutches, or whatever. It wouldn't bother me if a date showed up on crutches. I would be empathetic and help the person out as much as I could. 2
Phoe Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 When I was injured I was ridiculously stubborn. I used crutches, begrudgingly. I still showed up at work everyday despite my boss's insistence that it would be okay if I stayed home. Sometimes just getting from my truck to the front door had me on the verge of tears, it was not an easy time. Nobody was uncomfortable. No one had a problem. In fact, one day someone put me in a wheelchair, and they tied a bunch of balloons to it and had fun wheeling me around. They all showed me they were there to support me until my injury healed. Sometimes people get hurt! During that time, my friends showed that they are true. 1
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 BOZG, So, did you meet an OLD guy for a date and find out he had a temporary disability on the date, but not beforehand? I'm not sure what you're asking. Are you asking if you would be upset to not be told ahead of the date, that your date had a temporary disability that required a cast or crutches? I think most people would be honest and let you know before the date if they were on crutches, or whatever. It wouldn't bother me if a date showed up on crutches. I would be empathetic and help the person out as much as I could. I've created this thread because I notice that there seems to be a certain amount of disgust and disdain for people who are healing from an accident or injury while out on a date and because the person is using an apparatus (or wearing a cast or bandages) which makes it obvious that they're temporarily disabled, it seems to embarrass the other person who's out on a date with them. And yeah, the injured person really should let their date know that they're going to be wearing a little more than jewelry and clothing on their next date lol so that the person going on the date with them can be mentally and visually prepared for it. So, I wholeheartedly agree with ya there, Writergal. . 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Personally, I don't know if I'd ever actually go on a proper date with the use of crutches or suffering a significant injury. If it was a permanent injury then I have no choice. I did date a woman with a permanent back condition, but it was more of a helpless feeling and was disturbing to see her in pain because you wish you could do something about it. But if it was interfering with my life temporarily...like difficulty driving and just general life, that just becomes quite difficult enough on it's own without dating and I'd likely just wait it out till I recover. I've had plenty of injuries in my life that required crutches (I'm a pro on crutches, I do a little dance even), I've sprained my arm which required a sling, fractured my wrist or I don't really remember but that required a cast, fractured my ankle which required a cast and hurt like a blank, multiple knee surgeries and the like...and during those recoveries for me, I wasn't really thinking about the dating scene or in a relationship already. If I were to do it however, I would inform the person beforehand if I were to and very likely had made some mention of the injury beforehand, but that's just my own etiquette...I wouldn't want to surprise someone or make them uncomfortable, and I wouldn't keep it a secret. But I wouldn't react negatively towards someone who did, especially if they had a permanent injury, I would empathize with that. I'm not saying it wouldn't surprise me, or provide some initial discomfort or shock depending on what it is, but I'd get over it really quick and treat that person accordingly with respect, if not go out of my way to be a bit kinder to them. 3
gaius Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I've always found girls with those giant pupils and grandma sun glasses from the eye doctor drops very sexy.
smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 This thread may have been created because I started a thread discussing how I met up with a girl on a 2nd date and was not expecting to see a cane. What I found funny is I told her I had a sore ankle but it healed in time for our date which is good because I would not have wanted to show up with a cane And then she shows up with one? So I was caught off guard but still went through with the date and remained pleasant but I don't know how to ask her......."how long do you have to use the cane?" without her getting offended.
Clockwork Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 With a temporary disability? No, not at all. It wouldn't matter to me at all on a first date. Accidents happen. Now, a permanent disability is a different story because you don't know what it is. I would even consider depression to be in that category because in that case you might be mentally stressed and emotionally stressed with dealing with this person. Sometimes that is far worse than a person who, say, lost their leg in a car crash or something. Give me a person with a long term physical disability over one with a long term mental one. However, a long term physical one you also have to consider that you might be a caregiver at times as well if it is extreme. Obviously something you need to think about for yourself. But if they broke their foot and the cast is coming off in a month...........come on, is anyone that shallow?
smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 With a temporary disability? No, not at all. It wouldn't matter to me at all on a first date. Accidents happen. Now, a permanent disability is a different story because you don't know what it is. I would even consider depression to be in that category because in that case you might be mentally stressed and emotionally stressed with dealing with this person. Sometimes that is far worse than a person who, say, lost their leg in a car crash or something. Give me a person with a long term physical disability over one with a long term mental one. However, a long term physical one you also have to consider that you might be a caregiver at times as well if it is extreme. Obviously something you need to think about for yourself. But if they broke their foot and the cast is coming off in a month...........come on, is anyone that shallow? you don't go on a date with someone new with a broken foot. You get better and then go on a date the end
Shining One Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I've been on a few dates with women who've temporarily injured themselves. I had to adjust a few plans (no water park for the girl in the cast), but it wasn't ever an issue. It's really a good sign of interest when she would rather go out with me in her current condition than just stay home.
Krieger Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Well I am trying to get into the nursing program why not.
kodakgirl Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't be the slightest bit put off by that!! In a way it would almost be a turn-on, because it would trigger heaps of compassion from me, and I'd probably have an easier time focusing on him rather than my own nerves (which can be a bit of an issue for me). If we did end up really clicking, like datingdirection I'd love to go out of my way to be sweet and help him out. Even if he has kind friends and family, it's always especially nice to have care with a more romantic tinge. I would definitely hope he'd tell me before we met up, though, especially if it affected his walking, so I could make sure our plans were sensitive to that. And also so I'd recognize him! Edited April 26, 2015 by kodakgirl 2
MissionPossible Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I can't say I've ever been on a first date with someone on crutches, but my bf did recently break his leg pretty badly and wasn't allowed to walk for a month. Seeing him vulnerable like that just made me want to kiss him from head to toe and take care of him and protect him. It actually made us a lot closer. I can't imagine viewing an injury as a turnoff - in fact it would probably have the opposite effect for me. But that's just me. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 If you met someone on an OLD site or IRL who you were attracted to initially and you set up a date with them...and then they showed up to the date using crutches, a cane, a walker or they were in an arm/leg cast or in a wheelchair, would that be a turn off to you? Would you feel disgusted at them because they needed assistance to get around with some sort of device? Would you have preferred that they told you about their injury or temporary disability so you could've rescheduled the date when they were healed? Or would them showing up with a device to help them get around not bother you at all? Is a person using such a device to help them be mobile be a sexual turn off on a date, because it shows them as being weak or because it reminds you of an old person? All I know is, if I ever break an arm, a leg, a hip, or God forbid have any other injuries that require the use of an implement or a device to help me get around, I will NEVER go out on a date with anyone until I'm healed!! I'd NEVER want a guy to look at me and be disgusted because I'm using crutches or look at me and be turned off because I'm not walking in heels and a mini skirt but instead I'm wearing my Skechers and jeans while using a cane to get around because I hurt my hip in a jet ski accident! Not saying that it's 'superficial' for somebody to be turned off or embarrassed by being seen with someone who needs help to get around using crutches or whatever. But I mean, wow. There seems to be a LOT of requirements and a standard of perfection from people when they're out on a date with someone! If the person they're dating doesn't look perfect, isn't in perfect health, has a broken bone or injury of some sort, doesn't look normal in ANY way because they need crutches, a wheelchair or is wearing a cast, then they're S.O.O.L. ($hit Out Of Luck). . To be honest, I wouldn't have even given a second thought about it before you brought it up. I also wouldn't expect a woman to show up to a date with a mini-skirt and high heels. The answer is it will bother some people, it won't bother others. 2
Haydn Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Being a victim all the time turns me off. That can be temporary.... But seriously, maybe a mad twitch? Missing teeth? I probably would not care, but the teeth are important. I had a lazy eye when small. People did tend to find it disconcerting until i had it corrected. 1
carhill Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Is dating someone with a (temporary) disability a turn off? At my age, stuff happens and our bodies don't bounce back as easily as when young so I wouldn't have a strong opinion about it being a condition of dating or not. My experience has been that, when people feel 'broken', even if temporarily, energy for positive dating interactions can be depleted so they lose interest, often similar to how other life-altering experiences affect dating energy.
Rejected Rosebud Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I bet people who find it a turn off are in the extreme minority I would never have even thought of it!! 1
jen1447 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 If you met someone on an OLD site or IRL who you were attracted to initially and you set up a date with them...and then they showed up to the date using crutches, a cane, a walker or they were in an arm/leg cast or in a wheelchair, would that be a turn off to you? Would you feel disgusted at them because they needed assistance to get around with some sort of device? . Don't do OLD but if I had a date with someone new and they showed up injured, I wouldn't mind the injury in the slightest, but I'd probably be a bit put-off by not having been told about it ahead of time. Seems logistically significant. btw, injury sex can be a lot of fun. 3
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Injury sex is really fun!! Oh, the creativity. Especially if you've got a limber body.
Emilia Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Disgust over crutches? A bit strong, isn't it? No of course I wouldn't be disgusted. Anyone that does any kind of physical activity can hurt themselves, you can fall over in the shower. It would be pretty self-limiting to have strong emotions over someone twisting an ankle. I would expect the date to let me know in advance though, yes. Not just because of the initial shock (if it's a wheelchair) but the amount of planning it might require as well to get around. I don't think anyone should hide because they have some temporary injury at all but they should let their date know, for sure. 1
regine_phalange Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I wouldn't mind. Actually, if a cute guy showed up with a cast I'd involuntarily like him even more (nurse syndrome? ). 1
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