Everlastinglite Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Say you have broken up with someone and its been about 6-10 months since you've seen them. They broke your heart and you guys are not exactly on speaking terms anymore, but you've decided to move on and are a lot happier. But it's their birthday and you're not sure if you should text them or not. Would it be okay to do it?
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Do you often wish strangers Happy Birthday? Your EX is a stranger to your life. They don't want to hear from you. Reaching out will only make you feel worse. Don't do it. 1
ASG Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 If you were friendly, I'd say yes, but it seems things ended in a sour note and you don't keep in touch at all. In that case, no, don't bother. They won't notice and you won't feel bad when you don't get a reply! 1
preraph Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 No. What is the point? It sounds to me like you're just looking for an excuse to talk to her again. 1
jen1447 Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Nope. Unless like ASG said you've been communicating to some extent all along. Otherwise their reaction will most likely be something along the lines of "Oh god ... :confused:" and you won't get a reply, and do you really want to be the butt of that? It's already dead, so just let it be dead. 3
badpenny Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Say you have broken up with someone and its been about 6-10 months since you've seen them. They broke your heart and you guys are not exactly on speaking terms anymore, but you've decided to move on and are a lot happier. But it's their birthday and you're not sure if you should text them or not. Would it be okay to do it? Be sure. No. Absolutely not. When one of my exes broke up with me, I was really quite devastated for a while.... then his birthday came round, so I bought a nice little card ('This card is blank for your own Message') and an inexpensive but fragrant bunch of flowers. I wrote in the card: "Someone, somewhere is thinking of you and wishing you happiness." Then I put the card into the bunch of flowers, and gave it to the first elderly lady I met. I merely offered the swift explanation, "from me, to you!" and with a smile, I just walked off. The look of joy and amazement on her face did more to help heal my heart, than anything else I could have done. 3
gaius Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 There's a few women in my life that I get a depression vibe from, so sometimes I'll give them a little extra attention with no expectation of getting it back just as an ego boost for them. But if this is a girl you really want or your ego dents easily don't bother. Let her earn your happy birthdays back.
badpenny Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 No. What is the point? It sounds to me like you're just looking for an excuse to talk to her again. There's a few women in my life that I get a depression vibe from, so sometimes I'll give them a little extra attention with no expectation of getting it back just as an ego boost for them. But if this is a girl you really want or your ego dents easily don't bother. Let her earn your happy birthdays back. A quick look at Everlastinglite's History will tell you she's a lady and she's talking about her male ex.... 2
strawberryshortstack Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 No, don't do it. If you're truly happier without him/her in your life, you're better off keeping him/her out if it.
writergal Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 No it's not okay to text your ex-boyfriend, because if you text him after 6-10 months since the breakup, it means that you still have lingering feelings for him. If he broke your heart and you're not on speaking terms with him, why would you reach out and text him? Don't do it. If you had truly moved on from that relationship, you wouldn't even have his cellphone number in your cellphone anymore. Delete it. Delete him from your life and move on. 1
MissBee Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Say you have broken up with someone and its been about 6-10 months since you've seen them. They broke your heart and you guys are not exactly on speaking terms anymore, but you've decided to move on and are a lot happier. But it's their birthday and you're not sure if you should text them or not. Would it be okay to do it? If you are not on speaking terms, no. My ex sent me a Happy Birthday message on FB, not a text, but it was fine since we ended amicably. With exes I did not end amicably with, esp if they broke my heart and I haven't said anything to them in months, I would definitely NOT. What's the point? Their birthday will be just fine without your message. 3
Author Everlastinglite Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 A quick look at Everlastinglite's History will tell you she's a lady and she's talking about her male ex.... LOL. Thank you haha
toolforgrowth Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 LOL. Thank you haha When my xWW and I separated, her birthday came around and I had completely forgotten about it. As a matter of fact, that same day I had a lunch date set with my then FWB (who later became my GF, then my xGF haha), who was absolutely gorgeous. All day long, I'm thinking "June 7th, June 7th, why does that day ring a bell?" Finally, later on in the afternoon, it hit me: it was my cheating wife's birthday! She didn't get a single word from me. She got something from her xAP, which she made sure I heard about through other channels, but I shrugged it off. Wasn't my responsibility to even acknowledge her birthday anymore. And I never have since then. Although the first birthday I had after we split, she sent me a text saying her and our daughter wished me a happy birthday. The funny thing is, I was out with my FWB/GF at the time, and didn't respond until the next day. I think all I said was "thanks". Moral of the story: not acknowledging their birthday will make more of an impact than if you do, if that's what you're really going for. 1
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Say you have broken up with someone and its been about 6-10 months since you've seen them. They broke your heart and you guys are not exactly on speaking terms anymore, but you've decided to move on and are a lot happier. But it's their birthday and you're not sure if you should text them or not. Would it be okay to do it? DO NOT TEXT. Why dive back into the past when you've moved forward? Why reach out just to be nice after so long? Silence is the way to go. 1
gaius Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 A quick look at Everlastinglite's History will tell you she's a lady and she's talking about her male ex.... Thank you good sir.
Author Everlastinglite Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 Moral of the story: not acknowledging their birthday will make more of an impact than if you do, if that's what you're really going for. This actually makes a lot of sense... I mean my ex's birthday isnt for a while, but i was just thinking what would happen when it came to that point, ya know? I did delete his number and everything, but who knows what could happen ha ha. Hopefully i could have a similar experience as u with ur ex and just forget about it! Thanks all for the feedback 1
Price2Play Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 My ex's is coming up soon but she won't be hearing a peep from me. So after our amicable break-up (14mo) we engage is some post split-up sex. I jokingly thanked her for the early BDay present, she looks at me all funny. Huh wait when is it? I looked at her and was like yup that's exactly why this is over. She literally had no clue when it was. So glad I followed my gut.
DatingDirection Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 The real point is...you want to plant the seed in his mind, you're still alive, and thinking about him. Do yourself a favor, and forget when his birthday is, unless, you just want to wish him happy bday for your own piece of mind, because you still care for him, as a person. But then again, what's the point, if you haven't heard from him, he hasn't heard from you in months, I mean, g-d forbit something ever happened to you, he wouldn't know about it, so honestly, I know as woman we're sweet, and thoughtful, and im sorry if I offend any males, but save your sweetness for some other guy who truly deserves a hello from you, even more than someone who doesn't deserve a happy birthday from you, and ask yourself this...in 1 year from now, where will you be, where will he be, if it's together, then fine, go ahead and do it, if it's apart, spare your self and don't do it. Good luck, speaking from one person, who did wish their ex a happy bday just after we broke up, again...don't do it girl. 1
badpenny Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Thank you good sir. Always a pleasure, ma'am... 1
Col1 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Don't reward him for breaking up with you. No Contact is what he gets. You wrote that you've moved on and are happy. Don't invite him to start drunk texting you and pull you back into a black hole.
cocorico Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 If you were to get a hbd text from him out of the blue, how would you feel? I'm guessing that what it would stir up would be a mix of things and not an overwhelming positive sensation. In which case, don't do it.
Recommended Posts