Dazdandconfused Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 (edited) Today is day five since I received a breakup email. This was the most fulfilling relationship of my life and in my mind my entire future was with her. Background: We met 11 months ago through business. I was not divorced at the time but had been separated for a year and divorce proceedings were in motion. She had been divorced 4 years. Neither of us was looking for a relationship and we both discussed that on our first date. But the chemistry was out of this world. Things progressed rapidly and after about a month of dating we became practically inseparable. Seeing each other daily when possible even though our locations were about 70 miles apart. During this time we took several weekend trips and eventually she started staying at my place most of the time, only going away when her business required her to. We were perfect together. Everyone noticed. All her friends, family, etc. would make comments about it. They said they had never seen her so happy and we seemed perfect for each other. Then about 2 months ago the project I was working on completed and I had to relocate back to the home office, about 300 miles from her home. We knew that this would happen sooner or later and had discussed it briefly but never in depth as to how we would continue the relationship when I moved. When the time came we agreed that we would alternate weekends visiting each other or find a nice location hallway in between to spend the weekends. We did this and everything seemed to be working. We still talked daily and both professed our love for the other all the time. Then last Friday as I was getting my stuff together to head to her place for the weekend I got a text from her saying she would like to have a "girls weekend" with her friends. She hadn't done that in a long time but I knew that her friends were a very important part of her life before she and I got together. So I was ok with that. The contact that weekend was very sporadic. We did text and talk a few times but she would not answer my texts quickly and by Sunday was not responding at all even tough the last text I got from her was "I adore you and miss you". No call or text Sunday night or Monday morning and I was getting frantic. She wouldn't answer the phone or reply to my texts. Monday afternoon I recieved an email with a page long letter attached stating basically that she didn't want to do the long distance relationship thing anymore and wanted to end this. I tried to call and she wouldn't answer. I finally texted her that I was leaving immediately to come to her that I felt I deserved at least a face to face goodbye. She said no. I sent her a reply email. Told her I would do anything. I would find a position with a company in her city and relocate and I meant it. We have spoken only briefly since then and very little by text. She blocked me on Facebook. I am totally lost. Edited April 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
xtopher65 Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Don't do anymore begging and pleading. You did enough already. Go total no contact and begin to heal. This relationship is clearly over from her point of view. 1
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 25, 2015 Author Posted April 25, 2015 I decided yesterday to start NC. And have been strong so far. But what if she calls? Do I just ignore? That seems very rude thing to do to someone I care deeply about. I really want to continue this relationship. I believe we can works through any issues.
towch Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 (edited) I decided yesterday to start NC. And have been strong so far. But what if she calls? Do I just ignore? That seems very rude thing to do to someone I care deeply about. I really want to continue this relationship. I believe we can works through any issues. Dude i had the exact same question last week exactly. I decided to go NC but would answer when she call. She did reach out a week later and we talked. this lasted for 3 days then she when cold again not returning my calls or text. I got so freaking sad. Dont let her in unless you see she wants back and not trying to relieve her guilt and get an ego boost. I avoid answering call the most, you can read text but only reply if it has someone you wanna her (for it is working on us). Ignore the "i wanted to see how you are doing" or "I miss you" or "i was thinking about you". If it gets to email then you are getting somewhere....i think. Ultimately do not respond unless you hear what you want!! Edited April 25, 2015 by towch 1
Art_Critic Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 breakups suck.. sorry you are hurting from this. it sounds like she laid it on the table, she can't handle a long distance relationship, at lease she knows her boundaries and is not stringing you along. it would be best if you just go NC with her at this point and move onto someone new.
frigginlost Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 This screams that there is another guy in the picture... Go no contact with her. You need to start healing. The adore you text sounds like a guilt shedding and a start of her trying to wean herself off you. Feel for ya man...
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 25, 2015 Author Posted April 25, 2015 Ok. Just had my first major test of the NC thing I committed myself to yesterday. Am at a bar and grill having lunch and a mutual friend walks up and hands me his phone and says look at this. He was looking at a post she just put on FB. It said "the only thing I'm committed to are my commitment issues." I know I shouldn't have looked, but I did.....
jen1447 Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Really crappy way for her to handle it, sorry. Some people really are essentially children emotionally. People shouldn't be allowed to date until you get your 'emotionally mature adult' certification.
lolablue17 Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 Ok. Just had my first major test of the NC thing I committed myself to yesterday. Am at a bar and grill having lunch and a mutual friend walks up and hands me his phone and says look at this. He was looking at a post she just put on FB. It said "the only thing I'm committed to are my commitment issues." I know I shouldn't have looked, but I did..... I think it's an ugly thing to refuse to have at least one talk with you. If you still want a closure, write a post in your FB say "The only thing i'm commited to is to kick out of my life liars and cheaters". I don't know if it's true but she will know sbout your post .... And she will be looking for you this time...
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 25, 2015 Author Posted April 25, 2015 She blocked me on FB so I can't see hers and she can't see mine. If she could see it I would do exactly that
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. Question. I've read all through here and I get the whole NC thing.....but suppose, just suppose she contacts me soon and indicates she knows she made a mistake and wants to try to make this work. Should I ignore that and continue NC? Or should I hear her out? I am willing to work on this relationship. She is that special to me. We never had one disagreement the whole time we were together. I'm just wondering.
TunaCat Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. Question. I've read all through here and I get the whole NC thing.....but suppose, just suppose she contacts me soon and indicates she knows she made a mistake and wants to try to make this work. Should I ignore that and continue NC? Or should I hear her out? I am willing to work on this relationship. She is that special to me. We never had one disagreement the whole time we were together. I'm just wondering. Yes, this would be the ONLY instance in which you should answer her. Only if she says explicitly that she made a mistake and wants to work it out between you two. 1
spiderowl Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. Question. I've read all through here and I get the whole NC thing.....but suppose, just suppose she contacts me soon and indicates she knows she made a mistake and wants to try to make this work. Should I ignore that and continue NC? Or should I hear her out? I am willing to work on this relationship. She is that special to me. We never had one disagreement the whole time we were together. I'm just wondering. I'm really sorry about what happened and no wonder you are stunned by all this. I hate to say it but a woman who has blocked you on Facebook is not one you want to be seeking a reconciliation with. If she wanted to reconcile she wouldn't have blocked you. Blocking someone is abrupt and rude if they are not being a nuisance. 1
you must let it go Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. Question. I've read all through here and I get the whole NC thing.....but suppose, just suppose she contacts me soon and indicates she knows she made a mistake and wants to try to make this work. Should I ignore that and continue NC? Or should I hear her out? I am willing to work on this relationship. She is that special to me. We never had one disagreement the whole time we were together. I'm just wondering. you're clutching at straws let it go!
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. So I think I messed up. I got drunk last night and sent her several texts.
TunaCat Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. So I think I messed up. I got drunk last night and sent her several texts. Two questions: 1. What did the texts say? 2. Did she respond to them?
towch Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Ok. So I think I messed up. I got drunk last night and sent her several texts. As long as you didn't sound like a begging/fumbling baby which could push her further away the only thing that matters is that you reset your NC. I have been there and done that. 1. do not expect a reply. 2. do not try to regain some pride by sending a counter text Dust it off and try again with NC. You will eventually get to a point where you still care and want her back but do not feel the urge to contact her (this is where i am at).
Ruby65 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 This screams that there is another guy in the picture... Go no contact with her. You need to start healing. The adore you text sounds like a guilt shedding and a start of her trying to wean herself off you. Feel for ya man... ^ This. Sorry, dude. No reason for her to be cutting contact and blocking you on Facebook if she wasn't hiding something of this magnitude. I would say to forgive yourself for the drunk texts. Really, she's been so awful I'd just let it go and not beat yourself up over it. And I agree -- don't expect a response and don't try to make things better with more texts or an apologetic email. It only makes things worse. Keep moving forward. If she's hiding the truth, you don't want to know the truth.
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 Two questions: 1. What did the texts say? 2. Did she respond to them? Text 1: I don't think you understand what you have done to me Text2: or maybe you just don't care Text 3: either way, what you have done is wrong
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 And she did respond today. She texted back that she will talk to me tomorrow. She is with her family today.
dangerbang Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Text 1: I don't think you understand what you have done to me Text2: or maybe you just don't care Text 3: either way, what you have done is wrong lol those are some good ones, hopefully you'll look back and laugh at them one day. She doesn't want you, it's clear. Those texts would probably be deleted right away and she'd just see you as a nuisance at this stage. She doesn't care and doesn't want you. You should never contact this woman again and try and be happy on your own.
Ruby65 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Please don't talk to her tomorrow. She's not going to ask to get back together. All that's going to happen is she's going to say a bunch of rationalizing garbage that's only going to make her feel less guilty and YOU feel worse. Block her everywhere so she has no easy way of reaching you. IF she ever changes her mind, she'll come knocking down your front door to let you know. 2
Author Dazdandconfused Posted April 26, 2015 Author Posted April 26, 2015 Don't talk to her. Just don't do it. How long before I talk to her? I mean, I seriously care for her. And we were good with and for each other. We have never had one argument before this. I think she really just has commitment issues and was frightened by how close we became.
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