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Dear OKCupid Date..

neowulf

By neowulf
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neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
Posted

Thank you for standing me up.

 

You saved me a whole lot of time figuring out just what kind of person you are.

 

Kind regards,

 

Neowulf

 

*deep breath*

 

Ok, so I'll never really understand the psychology of "standing people up". It feels to me like the most disrespectful way of letting someone down.

 

Is it truly too much trouble to send a single text message saying;

 

"Hey, I've had second thoughts about taking things further. It was great talking with you, but I don't want to take things further. Wish you all the best with your search"

 

^ That's it. That's all I'd be expecting. But apparently it's far better to have me get dressed up, travel across town, wait at a cafe for 20 minutes like an idiot and then refuse to return my text or calls.

 

*sigh*

 

I swear, I *know* how the world works, but it still depresses the **** out of me...

  • Like 6
Gary S Established Member

Gary S

Posted
Posted

Sorry you got stood up. It happens to everybody who does online dating for any length of time. Look at the bright side, you know exactly where this relationship stands. You dodge a bullet.

  • Like 1
Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

Posted
Posted

Sorry for the bad experience. They're not all like that. You just never know when you do the online thing, but you're right. In the end, they did you a favor.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

Posted
Posted
Thank you for standing me up.

 

You saved me a whole lot of time figuring out just what kind of person you are.

 

Kind regards,

 

Neowulf

 

*deep breath*

 

Ok, so I'll never really understand the psychology of "standing people up". It feels to me like the most disrespectful way of letting someone down.

 

Is it truly too much trouble to send a single text message saying;

 

"Hey, I've had second thoughts about taking things further. It was great talking with you, but I don't want to take things further. Wish you all the best with your search"

 

^ That's it. That's all I'd be expecting. But apparently it's far better to have me get dressed up, travel across town, wait at a cafe for 20 minutes like an idiot and then refuse to return my text or calls.

 

*sigh*

 

I swear, I *know* how the world works, but it still depresses the **** out of me...

 

That sucks. I'm really sorry. People can be so immature.

DoesntGetIt Established Member

DoesntGetIt

Posted
Posted

I'm always amazed as I am in my 30s and have found that many people still can't express their feelings or simply let other people know they're not interested.

 

 

It really isn't that hard and doesn't have to be a scary thing to simply let someone know you aren't interested.

 

 

For some people, maturity never happens.

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

Posted
Posted

That happened to my BF before we met. The experience sounds so horrible, I'm sorry.

 

Keep trying though, OP.

TheBathWater Established Member

TheBathWater

Posted
Posted

That sucks. It only happened to me once in my life, which is not bad considering how many dates I've been on and I'm 31 years old. It was also through OK Cupid, which I since refer to as OK Stupid.

Poppyolive Established Member

Poppyolive

Posted
Posted

Just one more out of the way, in order to meet your one that brightens your days.

  • Like 2
  • Author
neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys.

 

It happens. Life rolls on. Just having a bit of a vent.

You can't change the world. You Just have to learn to adapt to it.

Hawaii51 Established Member

Hawaii51

Posted
Posted

Should've had a great night and texted him photos.

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted

Since I am making $10,000 less a year from 3 years ago I don't think I would be bothered at all if I was stood up LOL

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted

OP I thought you were a guy and was going to say atleast you saved money lol

gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted

I always plan the first online meet near something else I want to do, so it doesn't really matter whether they show up or not. That attitude seems to lead to them showing up though.

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted
I always plan the first online meet near something else I want to do, so it doesn't really matter whether they show up or not. That attitude seems to lead to them showing up though.

 

I always planned my first meets at my favorite place to eat so if I can stood up I can just buy dinner for me and go home lol

EgoJoe Established Member

EgoJoe

Posted
Posted

I planned them at coffee shops so no matter what I get coffee.

joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted

"Hey, I've had second thoughts about taking things further. It was great talking with you, but I don't want to take things further. Wish you all the best with your search"

 

Yeah people are strange. Maybe when they sign up for online dating they should get little cheat sheets like the above for cases where they get "cold feet", rather than taking the cowardly way out.

smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted

OP did you speak to him the night before the date?

 

Did he say he was leaving out?

gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted

Neo's a guy. =/

 

I've only had one close call so far, with a girl I sensed was getting cold feet. So I started to cancel on her, just telling her I'd go to a baseball game instead if she was having second thoughts. She started to panic, said no and I never saw cold feet again, showed up a half hour late. Which ended up being early for her. :p

 

Care less and they'll like it more! Don't even bother to text if she isn't showing up. Just go find something else to do.

  • Like 3
smg15 Established Member

smg15

Posted
Posted

I remember years ago I went to meet someone on a blind date and waited for 2 hours. Why didn't I go home? Not sure

 

but she appeared out of nowhere after 2 hours lol

fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted

I was going to say.. When the hell did Neowulf become a woman? :laugh:

 

That sucks you got stood though man. Did you at least plan the date relatively close to your place so the drive didn't put you out? On the bright side though, you seem to get a decent amount of dates. Granted, you haven't been clicking with any of them lately. But still, small comfort in knowing you can at least get women out with you.

 

I'm trying to be way more selective on who i date now. Getting numbers has become like breathing to me, but they all seem to run together after while.

  • Like 1
Mjm1014 Established Member

Mjm1014

Posted
Posted

It could be worse... I was on an okcupid date last year. I clearly have my pics up to date and I listed myself as 5'7 which is true. I drive an hour to meet her, get to the date and wait for her for a half hour. She's no where to be seen. Then I get a text 30 min later, "I'm here"... I told her where I was..20-30 min later still no girl, but could clearly tell she was playing with me because she kept texting me she couldn't find me. Finally I had enough and tell her I'm leaving and she goes.... "CATFISHED!!! You're so short!!!! You're a loser hahaha!!!"

 

I never did see what she looked like, and part of me questioned if she was even there that day. Anyways you win some and lose some. Lots of people on those sites are on there for a reason, and I'm not talking because they are physically ugly either...

  • Like 2
mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry this happened to you. Best it didn't happen at all then, he sounds like a loser. Recently I went out on an internet date, I went to the Chipotle's where we agreed to meet. Twenty minutes after the appointed time he sent a text saying he can't come. I texted back "why?", he said his son came by that evening. I bought a burrito and went home. He texted back that he would like to reschedule, I said "what's a good time for you?" No response. Loser.

  • Like 3
LookAtThisPOst Established Member

LookAtThisPOst

Posted
Posted

Sorry to have heard this happen, but that's par for the course with online dating. It's full of people who actually want to meet that use it for attention and ego stroking as well as being perpetual pen-pals. Catfishing, etc.

 

It's sometimes used as a means to jump online while you're on the "outs" with a sig. other.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for standing me up.

 

You saved me a whole lot of time figuring out just what kind of person you are.

 

Kind regards,

 

Neowulf

 

*deep breath*

 

Ok, so I'll never really understand the psychology of "standing people up". It feels to me like the most disrespectful way of letting someone down.

 

Is it truly too much trouble to send a single text message saying;

 

"Hey, I've had second thoughts about taking things further. It was great talking with you, but I don't want to take things further. Wish you all the best with your search"

 

^ That's it. That's all I'd be expecting. But apparently it's far better to have me get dressed up, travel across town, wait at a cafe for 20 minutes like an idiot and then refuse to return my text or calls.

 

*sigh*

 

I swear, I *know* how the world works, but it still depresses the **** out of me...

  • Author
neowulf Established Member

neowulf

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Eh, it's ok. Ended up grabbing a coffee and a nice lunch anyway.

 

As people say, it's par for the course. Just have to make th best of things.

 

Also, I'm a guy ;-)

 

@fitnessfan - yeah, I know man. At least I'm getting dates. While you're out there, there's always a chance you'll click. Just have to keep trying

  • Like 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

I am sorry! I hate when that happens! I got stood up once and never saw the guy online after either. The following year he messaged me!! He forgot he had stood me up!! Idiot!

  • Like 1
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