ashleeisme Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 So it appears I have found myself in a bit of a pickle and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the situation. I apologise if this is in the wrong area. I've always been in relationships. I've never really "dated" and I've never had a FWB so this is all very new to me. I apologise in advance if I'm somewhat naive in this whole thing. I'm a 27 year old female. I used to go to school with Dave. I hadn't seem in 10 years and then literally bumped into him in Thailand. We said we would catch up when we were back home, and that we did. This was about 3 months ago and we've been sleeping together ever since. We have a wonderful time together, laugh uncontrollably and have mind blowing sex. It's always been very easy with us - no drama. We never established that we would be FWB, but I think we have both assumed that's what it has become so there's been no need to have the conversation. He's known to love woman. I wouldn't say he is a "player" but he likes his women. I wouldn't say we have a normal FWB relationship. When we see each other, we hang out all night - drinking, dancing around and just being silly. We can't keep our hands off each other, we will shower together, cuddle, sleep next to one another whilst spooning, have sex again in the morning and then one of us usually leaves in the early afternoon. He's always calling me baby, bub, babe.. anything really. He's very complimenting. For example "You're so beautiful, no one makes me laugh like you do, I really love hanging out with you, I was thinking about you all week" He will message me at least once a week saying that he misses me. I know that he talks to other girls, it's really none of my business though. I know how childish this sounds, but I wanted to plant a seed to see what his reaction would be like. I told him I went on a date - he seemed surprise but then said that he would like to take me out on a date, to which i agreed. We made a plan for the following week and that was that. He also mentions that he hasn't been with anyone else since we started hooking up. I don't know if this is from lack of luck or because he doesn't want to. A few days later, he cancels our date because he has to "work". He cancels our plans quite a lot, but then we always end up catching that same day anyway. We are very sexually attracted to one another, yet with him calling me these things and asking to take me on a date - it's confusing for me. Is he just playing the game to get what he wants or could their be something there? A lot of the time we will be messaging and then out of no where he stops replying and I won't hear from him for a few days. Then he will message saying "I miss you" or something like that. I want to have the conversation with him because I need an understanding of where his head is at, however I'm nervous about doing this because I don't want to scare him off. Do you think there's something there? Is this common behaviour in men when they want to continue the FWB relationship? Has this happened to you? i really don't want to make a fool of myself. PLEASE HELP!
MoreThanThat Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 You didn't say in all that what exactly you would like. I've had a couple of situations somewhat similar except that it was clear it was exclusive. How I handled getting to an answer that wasn't coming was verbalizing what I wanted in GENERAL terms, i.e. not being about the person but my own life. I'd then say I could understand this may not be what they wanted and, if that was the case, I could understand and move on. I think this is much more low pressure than being confrontational and saying something like - where is this going or where are we.
Author ashleeisme Posted April 24, 2015 Author Posted April 24, 2015 Thanks so much for your reply. I guess its complicated for me too. I do have feelings, but I've been trying to close them off as I'm unsure of where it's going and I don't want to get hurt. Ultimately, I'd like us to be exclusive, but it doesn't mean we have to be together. Maybe working towards that at some point but not right now.
El Pallasso Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 It's not good to lie to people just to see their reaction. It's like the boy who cried wolf. One day, he might catch you in your lie and the trust will be broken. As long as you're enjoying the sex and having a good time. Keep the relationship talk out of it and just go with the flow.
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