cottom Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 So at my gym theres this girl, i started chatting and mentioned how she lives on the back of my house (my parents house, i moved out) and i knew her sister. She was the same age as my younger brother. We chatted and did a class together. Chat is general gym chat, what can be considered elevator talk. I added her on facebook that night and we inboxed each other, she would take about 7 hours to reply though or shed reply at 1am when id text at 3pm. On tuesday we both text saying wed be at the gym about 5ish, i turned up at 4 30 though and at 5 i popped out to my car to get my boxing gloves. She doesnt drive so she runs to the gym. As i was walking back to my car she ran up to me from the right side of the gym, though the entrance is on the left, i mentioned that she said she was 'just doing a lap of the gym'. I found that a little odd cause theres treadmills inside and she had just ran to the gym and just happened to bump into me at the entrance. We did an abs class together then she convinced me to join in the spin class, still the conversation was weak (ive been single for a year now with no action so my conversation game is bad) but we had a laugh and i dropped her home. I text her later saying "just got in, legs are dead, i cant make it up to my apartment, im setting up camp at the bottom and will go for the top in the morning x" ... she replied "take one step at a timem you can do it! :') x" i replied later saying "your instructions werent clear and i ended up in asda :/ think im going to watch a film when im back, got any recommendations?" ... she never replied. I saw her at the gym today, and we did an abs class then she went sauna i was going to go boxing, but went on treadmill for 5 mins and joined her in the sauna. I felt kind of awkward cause i felt like id just stalked her in there, so hopefully she didnt think like that. We chatted about her friends have gone uni so shes left with noone really she has about 5 mates but most have boyfriends, i said if she isnt doing anything this weekend then she can pop into town with me for a drink. She said that one of the personal trainers and his mate the gym cleaner (theyre same age, i think they may know each other from school) had asked her to go to this club in town with them, she said that she asked her mate and if her mate doesnt go then she wont, so i said if you dont, text me and we can go so and so bar. We chatted for a bit then she left the sauna and had a shower, the sauna had got busy by that point but she never said bye, she just left without saying anything to me. So i am getting mixed signals, this is a pretty hot girl, nice girl etc im into her. She asks me to do these classes with her and she laughs at my jokes etc. However conversation can be poor, she hardy ever replies to texts. I really can't tell. How can i encourage her to be more in to me?
fitnessfan365 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) You're setting yourself up more to be her workout "buddy" doing classes together and never taking action. That's why you need to stop beating around the bush. With women, you need to make your intentions known from the get go. If a woman knows that you like her and you never make a move, she'll just write you off as having no balls. I mean look at it from her POV man. There's this guy (you) who constantly wants to be near her, that she gave her number to no less, and you still haven't asked her out. Your first contact with her on the phone, should have been a date invite. Unless by "texts" you mean Facebook messages? So instead of doing class after class just to be near her, and sending her random texts, man up and ask her out in person next time you see her. Let her know that you've enjoyed getting to know her, and that you're way too attracted to her to only spend time with her at the gym. Then set plans. Edited April 23, 2015 by fitnessfan365 2
CarrieT Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 How can i encourage her to be more in to me? Invite her on a PROPER date. And - important! - don't do it via a text! Actually talk to her; invite her to dinner. Pay for the dinner. Be a gentleman and don't go in for a kiss or anything - just get to know her and court her. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 Invite her on a PROPER date. And - important! - don't do it via a text! Actually talk to her; invite her to dinner. Pay for the dinner. Be a gentleman and don't go in for a kiss or anything - just get to know her and court her. I really liked your post, EXCEPT when you claimed that a guy going for a kiss means he isn't a gentleman. The word gentleman ends in "man". If she is showing signs of interest and there is obvious chemistry, there is nothing wrong with going for a kiss. A first kiss is how romance starts. "Getting to know" a woman without making a move when appropriate is called being her friend. 1
Author cottom Posted April 24, 2015 Author Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) Face to face is off the table cause i want to go for a drink with her this weekend and wont see her at the gym till next tuesday at best. I was going to text her today and say "hey, if your friend bails and you dont go town with tony and his mate, you fancy coming for a drink in X bar tonight?" i already said yesterday though that im out with my brother tonight so i dont want to make it look like shes second choice but my brothers at uni still so dont want to say he cancelled. But i dont want it to look like nobody asked me on a friday night to come out, cause all my mates are broke and want to sit in and play videogames and stuff. I was also contemplating the stuff we talked about yesterday about how hot it is in my office because i dont have air con etc "Not even 9am and its his 23 degrees in my office :/ i definitely need a drink tonight if you fancy coming ... bar if your plans tonight dont happen" whats the best text to send to ask her? And i was getting at in my OP, does she sound interested? Edited April 24, 2015 by cottom
fitnessfan365 Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 You've got to learn how to be patient. You may want want to go out with her this weekend, but that doesn't mean the timing is right. In all honesty, if you send that text it will make you look weak as hell. Why? You're basically begging for the right to sit around and wait to see if you have the privilege of being her back up plan. If you ever want her to be attracted to you, and see you as a priority, you have to act as if. Instead, remind yourself that the world won't end and wait until Tuesday. Then you ask her out in person. Just be honest and authentic. "Our classes together have been fun, But I'm very attracted to you and have no desire to only see you around the gym. Let's grab a drink together." No matter what happens, she'll respect you as a man 10x more than if you send that begging text. Just saying..
Happy-Dayze Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 Does she sound interested ? She sounds like she is on the fence and weighing her options. I would say she hasn't yet decided how she sees you yet but is definitely interested enough that you could get her on board. Thus far I agree with fitness fan. You have not been direct or assertive enough in your approach to her. I mean you asked her if the other guy cancels to send you a text and catch up. So you basically placed yourself as her backup plan. You definitely don't want to go back now following up and checking if she is free as it will look weak and desperate and like you have no plans on your Friday night. You made her an offer just let it stand. She has to get back to you if she is interested. If she doesn't take it up then that's fine. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do with a girl is just to say nothing. Because what most girls find attractive is a guy who has his own awesome **** going on. Who isn't hanging by the phone waiting for them to call because they are his only option. And the best way to give that impression, is not to fake it and "act" aloof or busy as some people do. It is to genuinely be a person who values their time, has friends and other interests that they are busy with. When you are like that you don't over invest in new relationships and girls. You don't over analyze every situation and you don't mind too much if a girl is busy because so are you. So my advice go have an awesome night with your bro and try not to think about her until you see her in the gym next week. Don't text her regarding catching up tonight unless she texts you.
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