NicoletteCB Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I have been in the bathroom crying for past ten minutes. I don't know why I did it but I checked my exes social media and she posted a video of her and her new girlfriend kissing. I don't know why I checked that was what I was trying to avoid seeing a video or picture of them kissing and I went and looked anyway. I feel so sick that a month ago I kissed her and now it's like..gone. I am such an honest mess lately I have a mental disorder and my mom eavesdropped on my last therapy session to find out I'm gay and my ex obviously left me for someone else better. I can't go back to therapy because apparently my mom cut me off from it for fouding out I'm gay and my therapist hasn't replied back to my text messages. I feel sick and I have suicidal thoughts and it's just honestly so horrible everday feels like I'm going back to old habits I was proud of quitting idk what to do. I'm loosing everything including myself.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Take a few deep breaths. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If your mom has a problem with your lifestyle... well, its exactly that, her problem. You will get through this. That I promise you. Just be kind to yourself and in a little while, you will look back and giggle at why you were so upset over such an unworthy person. And she didn't find someone better. I'd wager, this new RS will implode soon enough. You're the one who will find someone better. And if you really need to, please seek further help before doing anything rash!!! 1
Methodical Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Your name sounded familiar so I scanned some of your recent posts. Not sure how old you are, but if you are still on your parents insurance, that's tells me you're fairly young. Your mother shouldn't have eavesdropped, and whether or not she condones your sexuality, cutting you off after having discovered what's probably part of the source of your depression was not a smart move. I hope you tell her you need to continue seeing your therapist. If she is unwilling to help you with therapy sessions, seek out your local government health facilities and explain your situation. Most counties or neighboring counties have some form of professional help that's provided pro bono. Centerpoint type facilities come to mind. You know seeing your ex with another person is going to upset you so don't seek out sources of pain. You shouldn't be stalking her social media sites. She has moved on and you can't change that. What you can do tho, is get yourself in a better frame of mind, stop looking in the past and start looking to the future. Be proactive, go out and meet people, make friends, and when you least expect it, you'll bump into someone and things will click, but you have to put forth some effort. 1
Satu Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 When you wake up tomorrow morning, say this to yourself, and mean it: "I will not hurt myself today." That means not hurting yourself physically, mentally, or emotionally. ***************************************************** *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. ****************************************************** 1
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