19851 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I've been reading on the LS forum for a while now, reading ppl's experiences and how to cope has helped me understand more of my breakup but I really wanted some advice. It's been a very difficult time, we were together for almost a yr and a half, he cheated and confessed to it when i confronted him after he started acting distant. The girl he cheated with knew he had a gf but she didn't care, told me they made out but he still felt too guilty and didn't want to hurt me anymore so we ended it. Said it was a 1 time thing with her, but it's been a month now since we broke up and she posted a photo of them together a couple days ago. Needless to say I felt completely heartbroken, shattered, he had messaged me 3 weeks after as I hadn't maintained contact, he said he still cared about me, wanted to be frds after all we've been through, I still had a place in his heart. I told him we can't be frds and that he should stop contacting me and respect my wishes. He replied with that he understood I need space for now and he'll respect that. That msg was a day before that photo of them was posted. I've been trying to move on and replying to him brought back emotions again, and then seeing that photo posted by her made it a million times worse. I just think she's so immature to post a pic of them together less than a month of dating, and made it public which I'm pretty sure she did it so I could see. I'm just so confused to why he would message me saying he still cares and I'm in his heart while being with the girl he said was a one time thing. Would you consider this a rebound relationship? It's so hard because I still love him even though he is a jerk, this was my first love, first real relationship. We had talked about our future and were quite serious, saw each other almost everyday. I've just been in a lot of pain the last month and I know it'll be a while before I can forget and move on
Chi townD Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 One thing that she be very important to you right now is to remain in NO CONTACT (NC). That means that you need to block him on Facebook and unfollow him on all social media. if he texts, ignore it. If he emails ignore it, if he calls, let it go to voicemail. What you don't know won't hurt you. You use NC as a tool to help you heal and move on. You can't do that if you are getting glimpse into his life. NC and also make positive changes in your life.
TunaCat Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Step one. Block him on all social media sites. Block her as well. You're never going to be able to move on if you can see what they are up to on social media sites. Block his number on your cell phone as well. The more contact you have (either directly or indirectly) the harder it'll be for you to move on. I'm in a similar situation except there was no cheating (that I'm aware of) and he messaged me a few hours prior to updating his Facebook status to In A Relationship with (a mutual acquaintance of ours) Even if it is a rebound relationship, you don't want to be with a guy who cheated on you. You deserve better. I'm still in love with my ex and it's definitely hard realizing that he's with someone else. But, I'm getting better. You just have to take it day by day.
Author 19851 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 @Tunacat has he tried to contact you since breaking up? It's just so hard to not talk to that person that I used to talk to every single day, harder to accept for me when majority of our relationship we were quite happy
ZiggyZoo Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I'm going to be up front with you. He left you for this girl, and lied about her being a one-time thing. He said he still cared about you and wanted to be friends to help ease his guilt at dumping you like that. Well, I'm sure he DOES care, and DOES want to be friends, but for the most selfish reasons possible. It hurts like hell when someone does that. My ex-husband left me for "just a friend", and she put up pictures of them together on a camping trip he had supposedly taken by himself. The best, the very best thing you can do for yourself is take all the others' advice and block them both. You know they're together, you don't want or need to see anything else. Big hugs from me, you're right at the worst, most chaotic time right now. Just take care of yourself and it'll hurt less and less.
TunaCat Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 @Tunacat has he tried to contact you since breaking up? It's just so hard to not talk to that person that I used to talk to every single day, harder to accept for me when majority of our relationship we were quite happy Yes he did. He texted me the day after he dumped me and then sent me 2 FB messages. I did not read any of the messages or texts & I ended up blocking his number & FB.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 @Tunacat has he tried to contact you since breaking up? It's just so hard to not talk to that person that I used to talk to every single day, harder to accept for me when majority of our relationship we were quite happy The thing about this is though, is that he won't be contacting you to get back together. Or not as a couple. He's left, and is seeing this other girl now. Anything he says to you will be to make himself feel better, and I guarantee will break your heart all over again.
Bohonia Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 First I would remove myself from online social connections with them or at least her. He could have called her up after you said you needed space and thats when that picture was taken. For the moment move on if you two are meant to be later on down the road it will happen.
Author 19851 Posted April 25, 2015 Author Posted April 25, 2015 I'm going to be up front with you. He left you for this girl, and lied about her being a one-time thing. He said he still cared about you and wanted to be friends to help ease his guilt at dumping you like that. Well, I'm sure he DOES care, and DOES want to be friends, but for the most selfish reasons possible. It hurts like hell when someone does that. My ex-husband left me for "just a friend", and she put up pictures of them together on a camping trip he had supposedly taken by himself. The best, the very best thing you can do for yourself is take all the others' advice and block them both. You know they're together, you don't want or need to see anything else. Big hugs from me, you're right at the worst, most chaotic time right now. Just take care of yourself and it'll hurt less and less. thank you ZiggyZoo! It really hurts but I try to tell myself it's not my problem anymore, that I need to love myself.
Recommended Posts