bigsrve1aj Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I feel that I am being stuck up and an elitist, relatively shallow. I recently met a girl that has a stable job, loving family, son, but does not have a college degree. All my siblings have pursued higher education, including my parents. I feel being judged if I am in a relationship w/ someone who does not possess the same educational background as me or my family. I assume I should not address this issue w/ her.
Gaeta Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I would not call having a college degree a higher education of being an elitist.
Gary S Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 If you'll always date women better than you, you'll have a lot less problems. Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the worlds' biggest cat-and-mouse game, dating. 1
BikerAccnt Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Why do you care what others think of the relationships you choose to pursue? That should only matter to you. It's no-one else's business. Unless you're married of course 1
Art_Critic Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 if you chase the degree and put that higher in priorities than all the stuff that really matters then the woman you will wind up with you might not like very much... chase the woman not the degree, and if she has the degree all the better... IMO.. degrees don't mean anything.. I only have a high school education and can tell you as a business owner of over 37 years that the degree doesn't make the person or define their success. and NO you shouldn't say anything to her.. and if you continue to look down on her then let her go and find someone who can like her for who she is.. good luck 3
carhill Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 TBH, I dated women with and without (by their statements) college degrees and, absent one, whose medical diploma I did see (she was a M.D.), I never verified their statements either way. If adamant about this, I guess independent verification would be part of the process. If your preferences include university graduate and even, more precisely, level of degree and/or area of expertise, those are your preferences. IMO, the more one drills down to specifics on such matters, including but not limited to education, one necessarily more tightly limits their dating pool. With every choice there are consequences. In this case, if your socio-economic strata necessitates university degrees as part and parcel of continuance, and you wish to continue and not become outlier, remain un-apologetically true to the preference. You will meet other women with degrees with whom you have rapport and come from similar families and have stable jobs, etc, etc.
Gary S Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 IMO.. degrees don't mean anything.. I only have a high school education and can tell you as a business owner of over 37 years that the degree doesn't make the person or define their success. - He has a point... I think Dave Thomas, or whatever his name is, the founder of Wendy's, only had a high school education. And there are millions of other successful people out there like that. It's true, education and riches can't buy love, peace, and happiness.
Syberia Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 A college degree often just means you've let someone else indoctrinate you for 4+ years. As long as someone makes enough money, it makes absolutely no difference to me. While it's your "right" to feel the way you do about potential romantic partners, I'd see it as a little shallow. My wife doesn't have one, and I never even think about it. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Now this isn't true with all college graduates of course. But more often than not, I find them to be lacking practical street smarts. All that fancy education that they went into debt for, isn't helping them once they're in the real world. Plus, when you consider the percentage of unemployed college graduates is higher than ever, having that diploma doesn't guarantee anything. Imagine paying $30,000 a year in tuition to - make minimum wage and collect unemployment between crappy jobs, or wind up being jobless and living with your parents. I'm intelligent, well read, and goal oriented. I make $70K plus a year working 20 hours a week as a successful personal trainer. Yet, I don't have a four year college degree. Instead, I busted my ass, went after what I wanted, and made something of myself. I get to do what I love for a living and have the time/financial freedom to treat every day like a vacation. People that are entrepreneurs, learn trades, and have more practical life experience, are often a lot happier in general. 1
Lokin4AReason Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 its an A and B situation/relationship, they can C themselves(s) out of it IMO
compulsivedancer Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 It's up to you what matters. I find intelligence and financial security attractive, but neither of these requires a degree. On the other hand, the guy I'm dating studied medieval history, which totally complements my mostly useless linguistics degree. While not terribly useful and lucrative, it makes for interesting conversation. So if it matters to you, find someone else. If you like the woman enough, don't worry about it. But DO NOT be patronizing about it.
Popsicle Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 If that is so important to you, why did you begin dating her in the first place? You must not have been turned off then. I personally think people place too much value on college education. Not all of it is good. Some of it is worthless. 1
Syberia Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 If that is so important to you, why did you begin dating her in the first place? You must not have been turned off then. I personally think people place too much value on college education. Not all of it is good. Some of it is worthless. My cousin's wife has a PhD in art history. And until she can successfully get a teaching position (to perpetuate the cycle, I guess...) she is working at Costco. I don't know why anyone would put that many years of their life into a basically useless education.
Popsicle Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 My cousin's wife has a PhD in art history. And until she can successfully get a teaching position (to perpetuate the cycle, I guess...) she is working at Costco. I don't know why anyone would put that many years of their life into a basically useless education. They drank the koolaid.
d0nnivain Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Anybody can get a degree to hang on a wall. To find somebody you love, who you are compatible with, that's rare. I have a prestigious post graduate degree. DH did not have a college diploma when we met. It doesn't matter. Judge the person not their degree. 3
BlueIris Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 My cousin's wife has a PhD in art history. And until she can successfully get a teaching position (to perpetuate the cycle, I guess...) she is working at Costco. I don't know why anyone would put that many years of their life into a basically useless education. Financial return isn't the only reason for education, or for many things in life. Different strokes. I love art history! OP, I don't see why you would bring this up with her. If it's important to you, date someone else. 1
writergal Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 OP, if you really like this woman then forget about the fact that she doesn't have her BA degree. Many people are happy and successful with or without a college degree. Its just a matter of preference. 1
sweetjasmine Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Being the odd one out is crappy. With my inlaws, it's the opposite situation. H and I are the only ones with degrees, and I've had to put up with comments like the ones listed in this thread and other comments that basically diminish everything I've ever worked so hard for. Everyone will come out with platitudes like "it doesn't really matter" and "it's just a piece of paper," but people are sensitive about this topic, and she's going to feel like an outsider around your family just as I feel like an outsider around my inlaws.
Vercetti Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Perhaps I'm foolish. The most grounded and intelligent people I know ditched school long before collage. They are indepent in fields that those that went through college fail to get foot in door. Some that did go through collage are not in thier fields of study. One exception I know is sister that graduated top of her class...in 15 - 20 years her loans will be paid down and can start saving and investing for retirement. Only point is, don't write off people for lack of a smart paper. Many writers, composers, and even scientists that would be considered elite...were failures of traditional education. Beyond that my wife is a art history major. WE joke how it would have been faster and lower cost if she simply paid for books and got a internship. Funny enough I have no issue with wise conversation on the subject and often point out things expect her to be familiar with that she is not.
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