Kate1988 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Hi There, last year i moved out of my (& BF's) house as he wasnt respecting me (Staying out all night, not coming to any presentation nigths that meant a lot to me, having short temper & once yelled at me too *******over the phone just when i was asking what he was up too as he was away at the time) i had had enough of the disrespect and i had also found a whole heap of stating sites on his emails - all subscriptions and even some were paid for. i moved out whilst he was working away and explained when he got home he denied everything and stated that it must have been someone else - he begged me to move back into our house so i did however i layed a few things on the line and wanted him to change his partying ways (i dont mind if he gos out with his mates but i just expect him home by daylight the next day 6am- is that too much to ask in a long term relationship). Anyways we were good for a few months then he was acting strange like taking his phone everywhere he went (even to the bathroom) i had this strange gut instinct that something wasnt right as he worked away and often would not tell me much about what was going on away at work (also stayed out at bars till late whislt away and some nights he wouldnt call). his friend that he worked with used to come over often when he was home for drinks with us however i never seen his friend at all over the past 12 months of 2014... i thought that was odd and maybe my BF was seeing someone whilst working away so his friend couldnt face me perhaps... I would often make suggestions about him not being faithfull or that i was slightly suss and he told me i had trust issues... anyway everything built up to breaking point when i decided to leave him after one of his crazy nights where we went out and did not contact me till the next day 10am (mind you i had already spoken to him early that night and offered a lift home and informed him that if he doesnt respect me enough to come home by daylight then im leaving him) so i did i left him & moved out of the house. I started seeing someone recently after this however i have had to not carry this on as im still not over my EX. I am still in love with my EX and he says that he can change his ways however im almost certain that he was cheating with all the above behavious (however ive never had the full proof). I find it really hard to see anyone else as our private life was amazing so noone else can compare to that side of things either at the moment... Ive had other people tell me that he is seeing a lot of different women at the moment (not suprised) however whenever i ask him about this he denies it all; i think hes a very good liar. I'm really stuck atm as im not over him. Need some advice on how to get over him and if you too thinks this is the behaviour of a cheater or am i just crazy for thinking this?
Ruby65 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Your ex was lying and cheating on your during your relationship -- and if you take him back will undoubtedly continue to lie and cheat. You got involved with someone before you had healed from your breakup -- that's called a "rebound" and it's a way of using someone to get over someone else. Usually it doesn't work and only ends up hurting the person you've started dating. You're not over your cheating ex -- but that doesn't mean you belong together or that he'll ever change. It only means you're not over him yet. In time, if you cut contact and work on moving forward, you'll heal and be over him -- and be much better off! He lied about his cheating when you were together, he's lying now about dating other women currently -- and he's certainly lying about not cheating on you in the future if you gave him another chance. But I think you already know this. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Good luck to you! 1
Author Kate1988 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 I have no proof on the cheating though I def had that gut feeling that when he wouldn't call till late when working away and was very secretive in relation to his working away social life. I'm finding it hard to know 100% in my mind if he did cheat without the proof; how do I deal with that? I've thought about visiting his friend that I haven't seen for 12 months whilst we were together to ask if my bf was cheating however deep down I know he will just stick up for his friend and cover, what should I do to get that closure in my mind?
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