frankiesaysrelax Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I went out with my ex for about 6-8 months. I broke it off with her for something stupid and we each started seeing other people. When we were together, I loved her and gave her beautiful things like a diamond tennis necklace and bracelet. I think we quickly both realized we want to be together (or at least that's what she said and I want). She told me she thinks I am her soulmate that she was wanted to be with me with intent to marry. We have a very special religious connection as well and both want the exact same life. We spoke about me allowing her to design the house am planning on building once married. The conversation lasted for hours and I really thought her mind was made up. I broke it off with the other women I was seeing whom happened to be smoking hot (one was a model and another a doctor). She broke it off with the guy she was seeing BUT immediately after began ignoring my texts shortly after. I asked her why she is ignoring me. She replied me "I need you to give me time. If you really care about me as much as you say you do, then you will give me the one thing I need. I told you what I'm going through and I just need you to give me the space and time to gain clarity from the Lord. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart. Don't be upset and don't take this the wrong way, and don't think it's a rejection. Just believe me, okay?" I replied with "okay" and haven't said anything since. It's been about 2 weeks and I've heard nothing. I haven't said a peep and my gut instinct is to keep it that way until she contacts me but it's really hard to deal with especially knowing this other guy is probably crazy over her and if he's there for her and I'm not, he may get closer to her. I also don't know if simply replying "OK" and not saying something. I think when breaking up with another guy, she may have felt forced and manipulated. I didn't feel that way breaking it off with any other woman as I genuinely love this woman and feel I was put on this earth to provide a beautiful home and a secure life for her. Should I text or call her and invite her out to something fun maybe saying we can go to a parade and let's not talk about anything from the past? Or should I keep up no contact and make it look like I'm out and about having fun and seeing other people? This has been a difficult challenge and test of faith for me and I could use some opinions! thanks.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Well look knuckle head, you broke up with the woman and then she got into another relationship, why in the world do you think you can just walk right back into her life and pick up where you left off? it doesn't always work that way, especially if she's not single. But don't worry, I've made the same mistake but you can't just smooth over that like it never happened...and now, she's clearly got feelings for another guy, and she's reigning in the attention of two men and trying to juggle her morals with her desires. And really to give you a second chance? you're a little bit of old news, women try to move on, guys like to go backwards and mend old wounds or fix mistakes. I personally think you should have stayed with the doctor and model instead of going psycho love struck mode, but now you're hooked on a past girl and think everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows once you get back into her life...you're making a huge mistake though, you're just high on the chase right now and it's going to wear off, all this high-energy and excitement will drizzle down and you'll just be stuck with normal and day to day...and then you'll be thinking about that model and doctor again. You should back away and back off, you're coming on way too strong and if you keep it up...IMO she's going to back off, you need to respect her and listen because you're too much in her face, and although she might reconnect with that other guy, you've got to let her figure that out first. If you're not patient, you're going to lose. Not that I think what you're doing is half as genuine as you think it is, rather than just being a young fool that doesn't know what he wants. If anything I hope you just screw this up with your over anxious behavior and she leaves you for good. You've got a lot to learn, you're not ready for what you think you are.
Redhead14 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) I went out with my ex for about 6-8 months. I broke it off with her for something stupid and we each started seeing other people. When we were together, I loved her and gave her beautiful things like a diamond tennis necklace and bracelet. I think we quickly both realized we want to be together (or at least that's what she said and I want). She told me she thinks I am her soulmate that she was wanted to be with me with intent to marry. We have a very special religious connection as well and both want the exact same life. We spoke about me allowing her to design the house am planning on building once married. The conversation lasted for hours and I really thought her mind was made up. I broke it off with the other women I was seeing whom happened to be smoking hot (one was a model and another a doctor). She broke it off with the guy she was seeing BUT immediately after began ignoring my texts shortly after. I asked her why she is ignoring me. She replied me "I need you to give me time. If you really care about me as much as you say you do, then you will give me the one thing I need. I told you what I'm going through and I just need you to give me the space and time to gain clarity from the Lord. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart. Don't be upset and don't take this the wrong way, and don't think it's a rejection. Just believe me, okay?" I replied with "okay" and haven't said anything since. It's been about 2 weeks and I've heard nothing. I haven't said a peep and my gut instinct is to keep it that way until she contacts me but it's really hard to deal with especially knowing this other guy is probably crazy over her and if he's there for her and I'm not, he may get closer to her. I also don't know if simply replying "OK" and not saying something. I think when breaking up with another guy, she may have felt forced and manipulated. I didn't feel that way breaking it off with any other woman as I genuinely love this woman and feel I was put on this earth to provide a beautiful home and a secure life for her. Should I text or call her and invite her out to something fun maybe saying we can go to a parade and let's not talk about anything from the past? Or should I keep up no contact and make it look like I'm out and about having fun and seeing other people? This has been a difficult challenge and test of faith for me and I could use some opinions! thanks. "I need you to give me time. If you really care about me as much as you say you do, then you will give me the one thing I need. I told you what I'm going through and I just need you to give me the space and time to gain clarity from the Lord. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart. Don't be upset and don't take this the wrong way, and don't think it's a rejection. Just believe me, okay?" Respect her wishes PERIOD. It shouldn't be a difficult challenge because there isn't any challenge if you respect her wishes. And, "make it look like you're having fun and seeing other people?" -- Seriously? How would she even know? And, if you do want her to come back to you, why would you try to manipulate the situation and her like that and put more pressure on her. Go out and actually have fun and see other people. You aren't in a relationship with her and it will get your mind off of things. If she comes to you, then deal with it. And by the way, men don't "handle" women. They respect them and their wishes, they do not manipulate or pressure them, and allow them to make their own decisions and without undue influence. Edited April 23, 2015 by Redhead14
preraph Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 She has to figure out who she wants to be with, and you can't rush that. this other guy probably did nothing to deserve being broken up with and she's dealing with that now. You need to give her space. If I were you, I'd send one short last text telling her, "Hope you're okay. Once you're able to tell me what's going on, text me. I'll leave you alone until I hear from you."
Recommended Posts