spiderowl Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 When does 'seeing a friend' become 'dating'? What would you say made the difference? I seem to be in a kind of limbo land at the moment where we have regular conversations and are planning to meet to go somewhere nice but nothing is defined. I don't usually spend so much time or have so much contact with my 'friends' so I can't help but feel like it might be dating when the word hasn't been mentioned. Also, I feel guilty if 'talking' to others, like I might be going behind his back. Yet, at the same time that's not the case because he knows I talk to others and has made no 'claim' on me apart from keeping in regular contact each day. I don't want to push this, partly because I'm not sure how I want this to progress and partly because I feel this should come from the guy. Meeting again might turn me off the idea, who knows? All the same, I feel the need to have some idea what I'm involved in/not involved in here - if that makes sense? As you can tell, I'm very confused by this situation and your thoughts would be much appreciated.
preraph Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Is he or she asking you out and paying your way? Are you going out and not just sitting around someplace? Is the person shy or outgoing? If he's paying and doing the asking, it's a date. Unless he's very shy and fearful and too scared to let you know he wants you. Most guys hanging around women a lot would like to sleep with them.
Author spiderowl Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 Thanks for your questions preraph. He's taking me somewhere, a place he likes to visit that he thought I might like but he didn't 'ask me out', it just came up in conversation as 'I'll take you to this place'. He hasn't said he's paying for anything and I wouldn't expect that, but I think he'd offer while out. We had a sort of convo today where I expressed I was feeling a bit odd talking to other guys and didn't usually have such regular contact with friends. He was asking about this and I think he wanted me to say more what I meant, but I checked myself because I feel very insecure and unsure in this situation and, as I said before, I feel it should come from him.
DavidsonHarley Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 It's easy to get things mixed up. I'm in a similar situation where through work I become friends with a Lady who works there. It progressed from chatting in work to me going over to hers at weekends and staying over. Separate beds. To going away for the weekend camping together. Last few months it's been the case if she's off and I'm off we're together. Doing normal stuff. Meals out etc. We've both had the feeling that by mutual friends and her friends that they see us as maybe a couple. Invited out with other couples etc. Nothings ever been mentioned by either of us to the other about Dating or Seeing each other. But Somehow it seems to feel like we are seeing each other in some way.. It's a tough one to know which way the situation is heading.
Author spiderowl Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 I can understand that. In past relationships, the guy has always 'progressed' things by wanting to define them more and see where we stand so it's not something I've had to worry about before. Now I'm just confused. In fact, I'm going to opt out because this situation seems weird. I don't know how to do this. How can you tell someone you don't want them to phone you again because this appears to be going nowhere? I think with your situation, you need to see if she will allow you to take it further, to a romantic level, if that's what you want. If she's like me, she would wait for the guy to ask her out and later try to define things a bit more. However, it could be that she's avoiding defining things because she's avoiding romance. Only you have got clues as to how receptive she might be to that.
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