[20/m] My crush [20/f] wants to take things slow? What could this mean?

[acorn95]

Hey guys, so I met this girl at a party a few months ago and I ask her if she wanted to dance with me. She agrees, and we start talking and have a really good conversation. We dance for about half an hour and she asks me if I have a girlfriend. I said no and responded "I'm assuming you don't have a boyfriend," to which she replies "If I did I wouldn't be dancing with you like this." I get her number and then I kiss her a few minutes later. When she leaves, she gives me a kiss goodbye.

 

After getting her number, I ask her if she wants to get dinner sometime and she fades me a few times saying she's busy. However, I keep trying and one day I text her to see how she's doing. We have an okay conversation, and I convince her that we should talk on the phone the next day. She agrees, and we have a good conversation (approx 1 hour and 15 mins). We gelled so well together that I could have talked to her for the whole night, but I didn't because I didn't want her to lose interest.

 

During our conversation, she recommends that I should check out Williamsburg. Later that week I ask her out, and we agree to go to Williamsburg the next week, which was Saturday April 18.

 

We met downtown (we live in NY btw) and the train to Williamsburg wasn't working. It was fine though, we ate burgers than went to see the sunset at the highline. I saw a lot of couples holding hands there and about halfway through I start holding her hand. She is fine with this. At the end of the date, I kissed her twice and afterwards she says "We should do this more often."

 

On Monday, we send each other some snapchats and then I get a text saying that she thinks we rushed things and she thinks "we should take things slow and become friends and get to know each other."

 

I asked what she meant by taking things slow and she says she wants to hang out like how we would with regular friends (i.e. no holding hands, kissing, etc.). She says she wants to really get to know someone and become friends with them before deciding on what to do next. She says she still wants to hang out with me though.

 

I really like this girl, and am strongly considering being in a relationship with her. But I'm just really confused about what she really means. Is she trying to push me away? Is she trying to play hard to get? Does she want to see if I'm invested in her and not just worried about sex?

Please, if I could get some advice about this, I would really appreciate it.

 

Thanks

 

tl;dr

 

OP meets girl at party

Gets her number and makes out with her

Tries to set up date, but gets curved

After texting and talking on the phone, OP gets date confirmed

OP goes on romantic , holds hands and makes out with girl. She likes it.

OP gets text msg saying that she wants to take things slow (i.e. no making out, no holding hands, etc.)

OP is confused

[preraph]

ASK her what she means. Tell her "I want to be clear what you mean when you say take it slow. Make her be specific. If it's still vagues, say "Does that mean I should never try to kiss you again???"

[d0nnivain]

It's most likely twofold: she needs you to earn her trust & she doesn't want to pressured for sex / physical things.

 

 

Just keep being there, being interested in her & making sure your actions match you being a good guy

[Redhead14]

Hey guys, so I met this girl at a party a few months ago and I ask her if she wanted to dance with me. She agrees, and we start talking and have a really good conversation. We dance for about half an hour and she asks me if I have a girlfriend. I said no and responded "I'm assuming you don't have a boyfriend," to which she replies "If I did I wouldn't be dancing with you like this." I get her number and then I kiss her a few minutes later. When she leaves, she gives me a kiss goodbye.

 

After getting her number, I ask her if she wants to get dinner sometime and she fades me a few times saying she's busy. However, I keep trying and one day I text her to see how she's doing. We have an okay conversation, and I convince her that we should talk on the phone the next day. She agrees, and we have a good conversation (approx 1 hour and 15 mins). We gelled so well together that I could have talked to her for the whole night, but I didn't because I didn't want her to lose interest.

 

During our conversation, she recommends that I should check out Williamsburg. Later that week I ask her out, and we agree to go to Williamsburg the next week, which was Saturday April 18.

 

We met downtown (we live in NY btw) and the train to Williamsburg wasn't working. It was fine though, we ate burgers than went to see the sunset at the highline. I saw a lot of couples holding hands there and about halfway through I start holding her hand. She is fine with this. At the end of the date, I kissed her twice and afterwards she says "We should do this more often."

 

On Monday, we send each other some snapchats and then I get a text saying that she thinks we rushed things and she thinks "we should take things slow and become friends and get to know each other."

 

I asked what she meant by taking things slow and she says she wants to hang out like how we would with regular friends (i.e. no holding hands, kissing, etc.). She says she wants to really get to know someone and become friends with them before deciding on what to do next. She says she still wants to hang out with me though.

 

I really like this girl, and am strongly considering being in a relationship with her. But I'm just really confused about what she really means. Is she trying to push me away? Is she trying to play hard to get? Does she want to see if I'm invested in her and not just worried about sex?

Please, if I could get some advice about this, I would really appreciate it.

 

Thanks

 

tl;dr

 

OP meets girl at party

Gets her number and makes out with her

Tries to set up date, but gets curved

After texting and talking on the phone, OP gets date confirmed

OP goes on romantic , holds hands and makes out with girl. She likes it.

OP gets text msg saying that she wants to take things slow (i.e. no making out, no holding hands, etc.)

OP is confused

 

She told you exactly what she mean't -- I asked what she meant by taking things slow and she says she wants to hang out like how we would with regular friends (i.e. no holding hands, kissing, etc.). She says she wants to really get to know someone and become friends with them before deciding on what to do next. She says she still wants to hang out with me though.

 

Just go out with her and enjoy each date or period of time spent with her and let things unfold naturally. Don't put pressure on the situation. Don't try to progress to intimacy for a couple of months and, if I were you, I'd date other people too. Don't wait for her. She is young and likely inexperienced and unsure of herself. Give it a little time, but not too long and don't let yourself get too invested yet.

[TexasMan68]

Your done and on your way to the friend curb.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

Friendzoned, go cold on her for a while and lower your interest level in her.

 

Friends first is just some BS that Women think about. If you are total strangers, you are NEVER friends first. It's one thing if you knew this person as a friend in the first place, not the other way around.

[Gary S]

If it's not a relationship after 2 months, it probably never will be. If things were going just right by this time, the games would have stopped by now.... but she's still giving you the run around Sue.

 

Sane women who love you don't know the word "slow", don't want to be "just friends", and they don't play games.

[xeryon]

I agree with others. You are probably friend-zoned at this point. She maybe found you attractive at first but then you weren't displaying that same confidance and didn't make a move (to have sex)

 

I say this.. you should probably move on.

If a girl really wants you, she wouldn't stop you from holding hands/kissing etc.

 

Her saying that she wants to get to know you as friends and see what happens is just a nice excuse so you don't get mad. Women avoid confrontation at all costs that's why they tell you sweet excuses that seem resonable yet you must look at the bigger picture.

[Syberia]

You got friendzoned

 

I can understand not wanting to have sex right away, but to decline all other romantic gestures, even the ones that "don't mean anything," says she's not interested.