lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Lolablue17 Thanks for your advice it is much appreciated. A week after breaking up I messaged her and we spoke and she said she never would have lied about any of the things she said. Things got very heated and nasty and several times I attempted to go and speak to her but she would not give me anything and all contact was broken. The new guy also claims that other than not loving me that she always thought I was an ugly psycho with mental health issues which is strange as I don't see why she would have trusted me with her son. I really did love this woman and although I am not perfect I never lied to her and wanted a future together but now it seems I was a fool to believe anything. So send her an Email, it doesn't matter what platform you communicate with her. The things she told you close to the break up doesn't count. The facts just don't fit. If she said that, it means she also wanted you to know she said that. It is very embarrasing for a girl to deny all the word she said when she's loved you, So it's enough to say it, why telling you that? If she wanted to tell you , she would have done it herself, not asking her new Bf to tell you... It all look very shady to me. Make just a short one phone call today, and you will know the truth.
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 I'm also sorry for what you are going through. Her new guy sounds so insecure and pathetic that it's cringeworthy. As for me, I have good hours and bad hours. I know what I have to do; work on me, graduate university, pursue grad school, etc. It's just an emotional storm right now. He's all over the place emotionally. And the place we're at in school (reaching the end of undergrad, uncertain futures, other life stresses, etc.) is just not conducive to a long term thing right now. He cracked under pressure. He had also confessed to me how he had been texting my best friend behind my back almost constantly about anything and everything. I put a stop to that. People are cruel sometimes. They're ruthless. The day before he dumped me he said he was ready to go all in on us. The next day he dumped me. I don't think you were wrong to trust her. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. Mutual trust is a foundation for any healthy relationship. I don't see what you did wrong at all. Just take this and learn. My mom gave me this advice: "Never underestimate people and what they can do to you." I know that's cynical, even for my taste. But it has a lot of truth to it. But you're right. She showed her true colors to you. That's all on her. I can't tell you if what she was was bull or not, because I don't know her. All I do know was that I know my ex meant it when he said those things, made those promises to me. I don't know if that fact makes it hurt more or less. On one end, it has more value 'cause he meant it. On the other, he's throwing ALL OF THAT away so easily. We were looking at engagement rings and stuff too at one point and planning a life together. If she has a history of this, I don't know if this relationship with her knew guy will work out. I have my own issues, but at least I kept mine afloat for 3.5 years. Like me, you stuck it out. You were there. That is a testament to your character. Hold onto that. Your situation sounds awful and very similar to mine indeed. We were also looking at rings and she even had her finger measured. Also she was enquiring with wedding reception venues and even bought a dress. She said that she had dreamt the date as Feb 11 by that time she was engaged to this new guy. It is all so surreal and the way she could move on so swiftly and easily just makes me think she could never have meant any of it really. The guy she is with now is an image of everything she said she hated it just makes no sense that she would be with him let alone get engaged.
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 So send her an Email, it doesn't matter what platform you communicate with her. The things she told you close to the break up doesn't count. The facts just don't fit. If she said that, it means she also wanted you to know she said that. It is very embarrasing for a girl to deny all the word she said when she's loved you, So it's enough to say it, why telling you that? If she wanted to tell you , she would have done it herself, not asking her new Bf to tell you... It all look very shady to me. Make just a short one phone call today, and you will know the truth. I would love to know the truth and speak to her but I already tried that many times after the break up and she told me she did not want to talk to me. She is a very weak woman clearly and is hiding behind her big new man. I am starting to think that perhaps she has something mentally wrong with her as her mother is schizophrenic and she has Anxiety disorder.
SLee Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Your situation sounds awful and very similar to mine indeed. We were also looking at rings and she even had her finger measured. Also she was enquiring with wedding reception venues and even bought a dress. She said that she had dreamt the date as Feb 11 by that time she was engaged to this new guy. It is all so surreal and the way she could move on so swiftly and easily just makes me think she could never have meant any of it really. The guy she is with now is an image of everything she said she hated it just makes no sense that she would be with him let alone get engaged. Oh, man that IS intense! Yeah with my ex we weren't planning on get married anytime in the NEAR future but we were so SURE that it was gonna happen we were in the very preliminary stages of planning it. I was looking at dresses I liked, browsing ideas on Pinterest, looking at venus I liked, etc. But BUYING a dress and everything? Wow. I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. That's awful. It is surreal. I believe in love and everything (hopeless romantic over here) and I can't just fathom that. Similarly, I can't imagine how my ex can do this after everything we planned, went through, etc. I can't speak for her obviously, but she doesn't seem of strong character or will. If she can through all that and then up and leave. I just don't understand. Love may be blind, but does it also have to be so ridiculous? When my ex was talking about my best friend to me as he was confessing to texting her behind my back he was basically describing ME. "She has anxiety and depression" "She has a hard time opening up to people" "She's so frustrated with school and everything right now." ALL OF THAT was ME. He was practically describing ME. So I don't know. People are unpredictable and so are emotions. Like my mom said, don't underestimate people. The main idea I've learned is to get secure with yourself and with what you want in life. Then you'll be ready and you'll see right through so much more BS than before. People do things that don't make sense. Even if you trust them, even if you give them everything of yourself. Sometimes they make no sense. When my ex first dumped me, I was obsessed with finding answers. I just couldn't understand it. But each time, I either didn't find any or they hurt me more. I just stopped and decided that people are that way sometimes. Hope and pray that there are people who aren't so insecure and flighty. Hope that there are people secure enough with themselves that when you find them, they won't do the same to you. I'm not ready to be cynical. The tragic part of my situation is that I'm still in love with the ex. That's the biggest hurdle. It hurts. It makes no sense. It's completely illegal and heartbreaking. But it's a fact we unfortunately have to accept at some point.
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 Oh, man that IS intense! Yeah with my ex we weren't planning on get married anytime in the NEAR future but we were so SURE that it was gonna happen we were in the very preliminary stages of planning it. I was looking at dresses I liked, browsing ideas on Pinterest, looking at venus I liked, etc. But BUYING a dress and everything? Wow. I'm so, so sorry that happened to you. That's awful. It is surreal. I believe in love and everything (hopeless romantic over here) and I can't just fathom that. Similarly, I can't imagine how my ex can do this after everything we planned, went through, etc. I can't speak for her obviously, but she doesn't seem of strong character or will. If she can through all that and then up and leave. I just don't understand. Love may be blind, but does it also have to be so ridiculous? When my ex was talking about my best friend to me as he was confessing to texting her behind my back he was basically describing ME. "She has anxiety and depression" "She has a hard time opening up to people" "She's so frustrated with school and everything right now." ALL OF THAT was ME. He was practically describing ME. So I don't know. People are unpredictable and so are emotions. Like my mom said, don't underestimate people. The main idea I've learned is to get secure with yourself and with what you want in life. Then you'll be ready and you'll see right through so much more BS than before. People do things that don't make sense. Even if you trust them, even if you give them everything of yourself. Sometimes they make no sense. When my ex first dumped me, I was obsessed with finding answers. I just couldn't understand it. But each time, I either didn't find any or they hurt me more. I just stopped and decided that people are that way sometimes. Hope and pray that there are people who aren't so insecure and flighty. Hope that there are people secure enough with themselves that when you find them, they won't do the same to you. I'm not ready to be cynical. The tragic part of my situation is that I'm still in love with the ex. That's the biggest hurdle. It hurts. It makes no sense. It's completely illegal and heartbreaking. But it's a fact we unfortunately have to accept at some point. I am sure that even though you did not buy a dress the fact that you were looking still shows how seriously you felt about this guy. Sure my ex bought a dress and got her finger measured and was on the wedding buzz but what did it all mean in the end? She is probably going to wear the dress for her wedding to this guy now and at least she found out her ring size already haha. The guy my ex is with now is nothing like me at all. It sounds like your ex is of an unstable character also I don't know your exes history but my ex girlfriend had a history of dumping her partners and close friends and completely cutting them out like they were dead to her. I do not think that she will be able to change this behaviour as it is too much of a factor to disregard. I was and in a way am still looking for answers aswell but I suppose the biggest answer is right there that they promised us the world but by their actions it proves nothing but lies.
SLee Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I am sure that even though you did not buy a dress the fact that you were looking still shows how seriously you felt about this guy. Sure my ex bought a dress and got her finger measured and was on the wedding buzz but what did it all mean in the end? She is probably going to wear the dress for her wedding to this guy now and at least she found out her ring size already haha. The guy my ex is with now is nothing like me at all. It sounds like your ex is of an unstable character also I don't know your exes history but my ex girlfriend had a history of dumping her partners and close friends and completely cutting them out like they were dead to her. I do not think that she will be able to change this behaviour as it is too much of a factor to disregard. I was and in a way am still looking for answers aswell but I suppose the biggest answer is right there that they promised us the world but by their actions it proves nothing but lies. That'd be mighty shameful of her to wear the dress like that. But you're right, apparently all of that, all that she had with you, must not mean much to her. I cannot tell you what her reasoning is, but she seems to not know what she wants. To get engaged so quickly to someone who was the type of person she never wanted to be with? I mean, I'm sure it happens because life is weird to you like that, but still, she's making her own choices here. It just seems unfathomable to me. I don't want to get too much about me for your sake lol, but we're both still college students and broke so we were in no position to actually have a wedding or anything. But we were planning it out and looking. My ex and I were both each other's first, met while we were really young, but as we started planning all this serious life stuff, he got really pushy and forced me to compromise on almost all my life goals for HIS sake. It freaked me out, so I brought it up to him. Apparently that was unacceptable, and even though we were still like together the past 10 months, he just pulled away from me emotionally. There's a lot more to it, but what it comes down to, I believe, is just emotional immaturity. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually okay with marrying the first guy I dated if everything is equal. What gets me most confused is that we're incredibly compatible, almost eerily so and have all the same life goals at this point. And he's just tossing it because his feelings are flighty. No good answers there. Or even answers at all. Couldn't agree with you more on that last statement. At this point in my healing process, it's hard to believe I'll trust someone to say similar things and actually mean it forever. I genuinely believed him with everything. And then POOF it's gone. But such is life. I guess we just have to go on.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) I would love to know the truth and speak to her but I already tried that many times after the break up and she told me she did not want to talk to me. She is a very weak woman clearly and is hiding behind her big new man. I am starting to think that perhaps she has something mentally wrong with her as her mother is schizophrenic and she has Anxiety disorder. You don't ask her to talk to you. Send her a mail\text\whatsapp\FB\ and ask her to confirm\deny the exact quote that her fiance was bothering himself to mention to you. (That she's never ever loved you even one day) It's a short thing. By the way - If she reads it and doesn't even response - It means she did say all those ugly things. Edited April 23, 2015 by lolablue17 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 You don't ask her to talk to you. Send her a mail\text\whatsapp\FB\ and ask her to confirm\deny the exact quote that her fiance was bothering himself to mention to you. (That she's never ever loved you even one day) It's a short thing. By the way - If she reads it and doesn't even response - It means she did say all those ugly things. Thanks Lolablue17 I am thinking about sending her a message but I really think that she did say those horrible things as it confirmed it by the use of the pet name and other information. Its pretty crappy byt I guess I have seen her for what she is really.
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 That'd be mighty shameful of her to wear the dress like that. But you're right, apparently all of that, all that she had with you, must not mean much to her. I cannot tell you what her reasoning is, but she seems to not know what she wants. To get engaged so quickly to someone who was the type of person she never wanted to be with? I mean, I'm sure it happens because life is weird to you like that, but still, she's making her own choices here. It just seems unfathomable to me. I don't want to get too much about me for your sake lol, but we're both still college students and broke so we were in no position to actually have a wedding or anything. But we were planning it out and looking. My ex and I were both each other's first, met while we were really young, but as we started planning all this serious life stuff, he got really pushy and forced me to compromise on almost all my life goals for HIS sake. It freaked me out, so I brought it up to him. Apparently that was unacceptable, and even though we were still like together the past 10 months, he just pulled away from me emotionally. There's a lot more to it, but what it comes down to, I believe, is just emotional immaturity. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually okay with marrying the first guy I dated if everything is equal. What gets me most confused is that we're incredibly compatible, almost eerily so and have all the same life goals at this point. And he's just tossing it because his feelings are flighty. No good answers there. Or even answers at all. Couldn't agree with you more on that last statement. At this point in my healing process, it's hard to believe I'll trust someone to say similar things and actually mean it forever. I genuinely believed him with everything. And then POOF it's gone. But such is life. I guess we just have to go on. You are absolutely right it would be shameful but it really would not surprise me if she had bought that dress before she was with me and with someone else and I really do not think that this woman feels any shame in what she does some of what she told me about her past really shocked me I mean she had an abortion after several one night stands whilst her son was left with one of her parents certainly not a person of good moral fibre. With your relationship you say you felt him withdrawing in the last ten months. I did not notice anything like that and like I say rather than withdrawing things were progressing such as her viewing a flat a week before and involving me with her sons birthday arrangements. Its a bad feeling when you have sat with a partner and filled out invitations with her for her sons party and helped her with all the footwork and wrapped each and every present while she was at work or sitting on her phone just to be cut out of everything a week before
imbax Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 My ex told me: - I am so "manly" when I have sex with her (at the start of the relationship) - I am more mature than most other guys (at the start of the relationship) - That she is "falling in love with me" in tears when she first told me she loved me (at the start of the relationship) - She "loved me" and cuddled up to me after having a big fight due to an unexpected pregnancy which I helped her through both emotionally and financially. (Near the end of the relationship) <-- She rarely EVER cuddles up to me and it was so damn nice when she did lol - That she imagined what our kids would look like in the future (her looks, my brains) (At the middle of the relationship) <-- this was satisfying because she was thinking into the future with me - That I have a sexy deep voice (at the start of the relationship) - That I was 'cute' (at the start of the relationship) All nice ego boosters, but moments were so rare (that's what made them special)
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 My ex told me: - I am so "manly" when I have sex with her (at the start of the relationship) - I am more mature than most other guys (at the start of the relationship) - That she is "falling in love with me" in tears when she first told me she loved me (at the start of the relationship) - She "loved me" and cuddled up to me after having a big fight due to an unexpected pregnancy which I helped her through both emotionally and financially. (Near the end of the relationship) <-- She rarely EVER cuddles up to me and it was so damn nice when she did lol - That she imagined what our kids would look like in the future (her looks, my brains) (At the middle of the relationship) <-- this was satisfying because she was thinking into the future with me - That I have a sexy deep voice (at the start of the relationship) - That I was 'cute' (at the start of the relationship) All nice ego boosters, but moments were so rare (that's what made them special) Oh god talking of sex mine also told me I was the first and only person to make her climax first time and before me it took her months to feel comfortable with someone
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) Thanks Lolablue17 I am thinking about sending her a message but I really think that she did say those horrible things as it confirmed it by the use of the pet name and other information. Its pretty crappy byt I guess I have seen her for what she is really. So can you tell me please why? If she is convinced that she has never loved you, why on earth would she want you to know that, and also why is she involving her new Bf with it? Seems odd to me. 1. It makes her words worth nothing. In fact she has lied to you for months, do you think she is proud to tell you that she lied? People usually try to hide their lies, not to publish them loudly. 2. Why on earth does she put her new Bf in that situation? She is actually promoting her brand as a liar. Her message to him is - "I told my ex i loved him, but i didn't love him at all, do you believe me when now i say i love you?" 3. If she didn't love you, and doesn't care for you, why would she put any attention to sending you her ring photo, and asking her Bf to tell you that she has never loved you? It's ridiculous. It also jeopardizes her R with him because if i was him, that is the first conclusion i would be thinking - "Hey girl, if you love me, why are so obsessed with your Ex, putting him in the picture?" Edited April 23, 2015 by lolablue17 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 So can you tell me please why? If she is convinced that she has never loved you, why on earth would she want you to know that, and also why is she involving her new Bf with it? Seems odd to me. 1. It makes her words worth nothing. In fact she has lied to you for months, do you think she is proud to tell you that she lied? People usually try to hide their lies, not to publish them loudly. 2. Why on earth does she put her new Bf in that situation? She is actually promoting her brand as a liar. Her message to him is - "I told my ex i loved him, but i didn't love him at all, do you believe me when now i say i love you?" 3. If she didn't love you, and doesn't care for you, why would she put any attention to sending you her ring photo, and asking her Bf to tell you that she has never loved you? It's ridiculous. It also jeopardizes her R with him because if i was him, that is the first conclusion i would be thinking - "Hey girl, if you love me, why are so obsessed with your Ex, putting him in the picture?" Lolablue17 Thanks for your time to reply. I know exactly what you are saying and I agree fully. Her engagement to him was plastered all over a certain social networking site and apparently he proposed after many beers and shots and because it was snowing. She seems to be wanting to rub the engagement in my face. He even went as far as to put on his profile that I would be in tears with pictures of broken hearts. You are absolutely right if I was him I would be questioning a lot of things but I can confirm that he is not the brightest of sparks I mean lets be honest a guy who wears a belt buckle saying " Big T" I think this speaks volumes.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Lolablue17 Thanks for your time to reply. I know exactly what you are saying and I agree fully. Her engagement to him was plastered all over a certain social networking site and apparently he proposed after many beers and shots and because it was snowing. She seems to be wanting to rub the engagement in my face. He even went as far as to put on his profile that I would be in tears with pictures of broken hearts. Please tell me. Is it possible that she was talking about marriage, in hope that you will "understand the message" and propose to her? Maybe you didn't get the message and she was disappointed because she wanted a wedding? 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 Please tell me. Is it possible that she was talking about marriage, in hope that you will "understand the message" and propose to her? Maybe you didn't get the message and she was disappointed because she wanted a wedding? Lolablue17 I knew this girl for years I always had deep feelings for her and she claimed she felt the same. I have never felt like this about any woman in my life. I got married at twenty and was split up from my now ex wife for over six years when we began our relationship I had no luck divorcing my ex wife as she would not comply. The girl in question tracked her down through government records with the help of close friends and my divorce went ahead. I was fully with her to get married and she even said that once my divorce was finalized she had a bottle of Champagne ready to celebrate.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Lolablue17 I knew this girl for years I always had deep feelings for her and she claimed she felt the same. I have never felt like this about any woman in my life. I got married at twenty and was split up from my now ex wife for over six years when we began our relationship I had no luck divorcing my ex wife as she would not comply. The girl in question tracked her down through government records with the help of close friends and my divorce went ahead. I was fully with her to get married and she even said that once my divorce was finalized she had a bottle of Champagne ready to celebrate. I don't understand. You splitted your ex-wife 6 years ago, and had your recent R for only 10 month. It's a different girl. I asked maybe she wanted you to propose, and you didn't. Talking generally about marriage and proposing are two different things. 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 I don't understand. You splitted your ex-wife 6 years ago, and had your recent R for only 10 month. It's a different girl. I asked maybe she wanted you to propose, and you didn't. Talking generally about marriage and proposing are two different things. Yes you are correct. I never proposed in the traditional sense but I made her well aware that I wanted to marry her.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Yes you are correct. I never proposed in the traditional sense but I made her well aware that I wanted to marry her. How did you make her aware of your intention to propose? Listen, I find it hard to understand her behavior. At first, I suggested that maybe she still cares about you, but you said you are absolutely sure she is the one who initiated the hostile communication, and it looked like she is rubbing her engagment in your face. So my other guess is she wanted to marry you, but you didn't propose, so than she left you and went with the first one who wanted to marry her as soon as possible. That certainly explains her behavior. People do things for explainable reasons, unless they are psychopaths... 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 How did you make her aware of your intention to propose? Listen, I find it hard to understand her behavior. At first, I suggested that maybe she still cares about you, but you said you are absolutely sure she is the one who initiated the hostile communication, and it looked like she is rubbing her engagment in your face. So my other guess is she wanted to marry you, but you didn't propose, so than she left you and went with the first one who wanted to marry her as soon as possible. That certainly explains her behavior. People do things for explainable reasons, unless they are psychopaths... Lolablue17 She said that she had never wanted to marry anyone until me. She said she had bought a wedding dress and she was actively enquiring with venues aswell as being the only woman who made so much effort to get my divorce. I did not propose with a ring but I had every intention of proposing . Do you perhaps think she was expecting me to propose on her birthday as I bought her a necklace and prior she was quizzing shaking it knowing it was some form of jewelry?
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Lolablue17 She said that she had never wanted to marry anyone until me. She said she had bought a wedding dress and she was actively enquiring with venues aswell as being the only woman who made so much effort to get my divorce. I did not propose with a ring but I had every intention of proposing . Do you perhaps think she was expecting me to propose on her birthday as I bought her a necklace and prior she was quizzing shaking it knowing it was some form of jewelry? Yes I do think it somehow attached to the wedding thing. By buying a wedding dress and actively enquiring with venues, she made her intentions clear. Yet you didn't propose. So she found it humiliating, as the only one who push the wedding forward. you know, sometimes people get support and advices from friends or family. So maybe one of them (even that guy she's going to marry now) has advised her. She didn't want to say "are you going to propose or what?!" She wanted it to come from you by your own initiation, and when you didn't cooperate, she felt hurt and humiliated. I'm just thinking now a crazy idea - That her engagement is a fake, for your eyes only. It just a crazy thought... The chances are low for this trick. But yet... All other explanations are weaker than this one. 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 Yes I do think it somehow attached to the wedding thing. By buying a wedding dress and actively enquiring with venues, she made her intentions clear. Yet you didn't propose. So she found it humiliating, as the only one who push the wedding forward. you know, sometimes people get support and advices from friends or family. So maybe one of them (even that guy she's going to marry now) has advised her. She didn't want to say "are you going to propose or what?!" She wanted it to come from you by your own initiation, and when you didn't cooperate, she felt hurt and humiliated. I'm just thinking now a crazy idea - That her engagement is a fake, for your eyes only. It just a crazy thought... The chances are low for this trick. But yet... All other explanations are weaker than this one. Lolablue17 You have certainly opened my eyes and I am most grateful. This woman sat in a car with me before she went to work at my now ex wifes house for hours waiting for her to come out or on to confirm she lived there. She had her best friend make contact with my now ex wife to locate her. I don't think these are the actions of a woman who did not love me. I think even though I made much effort with her and her son in many ways I perhaps let her down in others.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) Lolablue17 You have certainly opened my eyes and I am most grateful. This woman sat in a car with me before she went to work at my now ex wifes house for hours waiting for her to come out or on to confirm she lived there. She had her best friend make contact with my now ex wife to locate her. I don't think these are the actions of a woman who did not love me. I think even though I made much effort with her and her son in many ways I perhaps let her down in others. What??!! She has a son?! How did I miss that? Now it's much more clear Since she met you, you were her love, and she was building a future - love+security+stable environment for her son. That's is why she wanted you to be finally divorced. But when you ignored ALL the hints (Her making efforts to finalize your papers, buying a dress, inquiring with venues etc...) and you IGNORED HER COMPLETELY, she just couldn't stand it. She didn't believe that you are such an idiot not understanding her intentions, so the only conclusion she came up with, is that you deliberately and intentionally rejected her moves toward wedding. In her eyes you said NO. She took it as a personal malicious act against her, she couldn't belive how low can you be, after all efforts she made, and left you. After being so disappointed, it's a little odd if she marrying a new guy so quickly, because you don't choose a stepfather for your son so fast without checking basic match. Just saying... Edited April 23, 2015 by lolablue17 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 What??!! She has a son?! How did I miss that? Since she met you, you were her love, and she was building a future - love+security+stable environment for her son. That's is why she wanted you to be finally divorced. But when you ignored ALL the hints (Her making efforts to finalize your papers, buying a dress, inquiring with venues etc...) and you IGNORED HER COMPLETELY, she just couldn't stand it. She didn't believe that you are such an idiot not understanding her intentions, so the only conclusion she came up with, is that you deliberately and intentionally rejected her moves toward wedding. In her eyes you said NO. She took it as a personal malicious act against her, she couldn't belive how low can you be, after all efforts she made, and left you. After being so disappointed, it's a little odd if she marrying a new guy so quickly, because you don't choose a stepfather for your son so fast without checking basic match. Just saying... Yeah she has a son he was five at the time I did very much for him I treated him as my own I would very often look after him if se was at work or busy he called me dad several times and she called us a family. He lost his first tooth in our car and I taught him to swim and took him into the sea for the first time in his life . A week before she left I helped with all arrangements for his birthday and wrapped all his presents and signesd a card with her to son. Although I never gave her a ring I think that I made a big commitment in my actions.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Yeah she has a son he was five at the time I did very much for him I treated him as my own I would very often look after him if se was at work or busy he called me dad several times and she called us a family. He lost his first tooth in our car and I taught him to swim and took him into the sea for the first time in his life . A week before she left I helped with all arrangements for his birthday and wrapped all his presents and signesd a card with her to son. Although I never gave her a ring I think that I made a big commitment in my actions. So what do you say? Right now you're offering chips of illogical theories that don't fit, and mainly you're just wondering. You admit to not understanding her. But a logical story to all of this - exists. If you have a theory other than mine, let's hear it. To assume that when she was buying a wedding dress and made enquiring with venues, she was lying all the time and planning to leave you and to assume that she has never really loved you, is a very very weak and poor theory. 1
Author totenkopf Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 So what do you say? Right now you're offering chips of illogical theories that don't fit, and mainly you're just wondering. You admit to not understanding her. But a logical story to all of this - exists. If you have a theory other than mine, let's hear it. To assume that when she was buying a wedding dress and made enquiring with venues, she was lying all the time and planning to leave you and to assume that she has never really loved you, is a very very weak and poor theory. Lolablue17 I do not mean to go against anything you say. I take all advice and opinion you have given me into full account. May I give you a more in depth account of my relationship with this woman? I would very much appreciate your perspective. Thank you .
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