Lonely hearts Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I have my mother and friends that will let me vent and give me advice. To a point. But it's temporary. It's the third day and waking up and realizing it all over again is the worst feeling on earth. Never again will I get a "good morning beautiful". I can't handle the fact I will never see him again. I can't cope with this. I'm dying inside, missing him so much I can't breathe. And am beyond deviated knowing that it's fine for him, he can just cut me off and move on like nothing. I'm laying in bed crying and hard to find the will to get up. I know everyone that has had their heartbroken knows the feeling. But this is my worst so far. Only a few days ago I was telling my friends that I finally found this amazing man, he's perfect for me and they will love him. So much happiness and excitement. Now I can't face the world without him in it. He never even game me the chance to respond or tell him how I felt. I have the urge to write him an email....I know I shouldn't right?? Will he miss me?? It was short but so intimate. We shared jokes and text banter all day, he told me about work...he would stop by if he had 5 min just to hug and kiss me. He pursued me, he took me to meet his friends, and they all said how much he talks about me. I can't do it this time. Please I dont get how this man could just be DONE. I miss him soooo damn much! Thanks for letting me vent. Honestly, I don't know how to cope with this again. To me, he was perfect. And I know, I have a lot of experience. I don't want to be without him in my life. And yet I can't make him want me. It's so brutal. I went from a super confidant, happy, strong woman excited about life to this. I will never find someone like him again. I hate him for doing this but y I miss him with all my heart. I know some of you will hate reading this , maybe too much poor me or whatever. But I'm trying to find a new way of coping and support
hollypolly Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Im so sorry your going through this. You will find so much support and advice on here from all the members who are all going through difficult break-ups and many of us are the dumpees too. I know your devastated and in despair and the pain can be so difficult to bear. It will get easier in time, I promise you this. For your own sake, you must go no-contact. Do not text, call, email or follow him on social media. You are to become a ghost to him and he one to you. He has left and he needs to experience life without you and you need to do this to heal. You will see no contact mentioned all over this forum and for good reason. It works! Its not by any means easy but its much easier than losing all dignity by contacting someone who dumped you in a moment of desparation only to be rejected. Lean on those who love you and on all of us here. 1
Pyramidsong Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 This is the first initial stage, you are in shock, cry, scream, shout, get it all out of your system. You say its easy for him to move on, you don't know that. I ended my recent relationship, i truly loved this girl but i had too..3 months later I'm still thinking about it. Its different for everyone of us. Sometimes when things are too good to be true, they unfortunately end. Go out with your friends, find new activities and do not contact him. Completely no contact. He may come sniffing back around again and you must stay strong and ignore. Regardless of how tempting it may be to go back. Again, from my experience, i went back to my ex after we split up for 2-3 weeks and the second break up was the hardest of all. Purely because she went absolutely mad when i left. 1-2 months of no contact will help you recover. Hope this helps, Pyramidsong. 2
Author Lonely hearts Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 This is the first initial stage, you are in shock, cry, scream, shout, get it all out of your system. You say its easy for him to move on, you don't know that. I ended my recent relationship, i truly loved this girl but i had too..3 months later I'm still thinking about it. Its different for everyone of us. Sometimes when things are too good to be true, they unfortunately end. Go out with your friends, find new activities and do not contact him. Completely no contact. He may come sniffing back around again and you must stay strong and ignore. Regardless of how tempting it may be to go back. Again, from my experience, i went back to my ex after we split up for 2-3 weeks and the second break up was the hardest of all. Purely because she went absolutely mad when i left. 1-2 months of no contact will help you recover. Hope this helps, Pyramidsong. I said it's easy for him because he just sent me an out of the blue "I don't thin I can see you anymore,sorry, you're a great girl" said he has a wall up and could feel himself pushing away. But he made me fall for him and asked for the serious relationship and I fell hard. He has literally everything I've been looking for for the last 15 or so years. And he treated me as if he felt the same. I won't contact him. But I am wishing he would contact me. Give me the chance to respond. Or something. It's taking everything I have to not tell him I miss him. But I don't want to look weak or get a response I don't want to hear. Uuuggghhh. Hate life right now.
Author Lonely hearts Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 Also, everyone says to get out with friends, do activities, etc. But I try and it's miserable. I'm too emotional and there is no joy in anything, it's all I can do to stop myself from crying. I went to the gym, and almost cried during that too. I can't wait till this is over. I'm dying here. I feel like I was used. An experiment to see if he could have a relationship that is not his ex. Or maybe just to see if he could still get a cool girl to fall for him. Whatever it was, it was very real and very good in my eyes. The happiest weeks of my life. Just torn away. Like I was garbage. 1
Satu Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 He turned out not to be the man you thought he was. Bear that in mind. You've had a horrible shock. The man you thought he was wouldn't put you through that. 3
stopping Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 This place is a refuge. It might not get you what you want (your ex) but it will give you the strength to get through it. Caring people at every stage of recovery read these threads. If they feel they can help they chime in. Stay strong 2
Ruby65 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Keep posting, post as much as you want. No one here hates reading it. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com 2
ZiggyZoo Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 First off, don't ever feel like anything you write here is too "poor me". This is YOUR thread, you write whatever YOU need or want to write. Second of all, don't worry about being productive at all in these first few terrible days. The shock and intense grief is going to be the worst right now, best to just go with it. You can do the gym, activities, hanging out with friends and doing things, etc in a few weeks, when you're ready. But for now, I'd say just take care of yourself, and do what you need to do. Time will smooth out the worst of it, but you've got no choice but to wait for that to happen. And don't contact him. That'll be even worse, you waiting for a response that may or may not come. And if it does, it may very well be more of "you're a great girl, but I'm just not feeling it". If he changes his mind, he'll find you and tell you. But if I've learned one thing from my break-ups, it's to NOT contact him and to NOT beg for a second chance. It hurts like hell, I know it does, but hold off. Hang in there. It may not seem like it, but you will get through this. You'll accept the fact that this guy, great as he may be, wasn't the right one. 4
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