Guy87 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Alright, I should start by saying this isn't the most ideal situation. I was in a relationship for 6 months. Three months in, we decided we wanted to get married. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, it gets worse. I proposed, she said yes. The day of our wedding arrives and she stands me up at the alter. I got mad and she thought that if I would have been nice to her, she would have gotten over her anxiety and we would have gotten married the next day. That didn't happen. Before and after this event, we were intimate, but she has this birth control implant that's "99% effective". This occurred in the last week of January. At this point it might be relevant to say that we live 3 states apart. I'm in the military and she planned on moving to where I'm based after we got married. You think it's bad now, it gets worse. So she went back home to her job. She told me that she had a period immediately after going home (February 1st-ish). Since then she's taken 3 pregnancy tests. Two towards the end of March, both came up negative. Now it's mid-late April and she says she took another test that came up positive while she had a little bit of bleeding. She also had a little bleeding in March too. She has an appointment to get a blood test to verify it, but here's my dilemma. She doesn't want to be with me anymore and if the baby is mine, I'm going to do everything I can to care for it. She doesn't care if I do or not. However, everyone I talk to says she's either lying and stringing me along or that it isn't mine because of the timing or shes not pregnant because of the implant birth control. Does anyone have some general insight on how the female body works. No matter how much research I do, I can't figure it out whether this is something to worry about or not. Any information or thoughts would be helpful.
JS84 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Paternity test or it didn't happen. I'm inclined to agree with what everyone else is telling you. Also it doesn't even seem like you know how far along she is. If she's even pregnant or just telling you that. It's not enough to simply know someone is pregnant and then come up with dates and timelines unless you know how many weeks/months pregnant she actually is. Even then as flaky as she sounds you shouldn't put it past her that she's been ****ing other guys. Don't be a chump until you see an actual baby, get DNA proof, and don't ever propose to anyone after 3 months again. Seriously it sounds like this chick has not only made a fool out of you but is playing you like a fiddle. 1
Kitkatleen24 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 There are some girls who would said they are pregnant to try to get the guy back. But in your situation, she was the one who don't want you. It might be yours or it might be someone else that she hooked up with and expects you to pay for the abortion/child support. Firstly it's too fast to propose but I know that you already know it was wrong so I won't harp on it. 2ndly, she stood you up at the altar so I think her character wouldn't be that good. I wouldn't believe her story unless she have proof. Some girls who lied about being pregnant would have a "miscarriage" accidentally. So ask for proof, I guess you won't be able to know if it's your child till he/she is born. I don't know what's her motives but it seems weird.
jen1447 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Her last period was Feb 1st, and she didn't take any tests til end of March, two months later? When was the last time you had sex with her?
Jessie1231 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Yes I have Jen's question also. When was the last time you had sex? Because if you mean she went home at he end of January and that was the last time you had sex with her, she would be about three months along now. A home pregnancy test should have been able to show this in March. I know they are wrong sometimes but two out of three wrong seems high. Now she would be about three months along and should have seen an OB by now to confirm this and get some sort of prenatal care.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 OK, I'm a nurse, so let's get medical. You two had sex the last week of January. She got her period the next week. So there's only an extremely, extremely slight chance that she was even fertile when you guys had sex last. Here's a quick ovulation cycle breakdown for what was LIKELY her cycle (every woman's different, blah blah, but here's a typical woman's cycle) And this is based on her period starting on Feb 1st exactly. It may be off by a few days, but you'll see how that doesn't matter... In January, her fertile days were January 16-20 In February, her fertile days were February 13-17 In March, her fertile days were March 13-17 So, even if you had sex on the last week in January, she wasn't fertile. The last day she could have ovulated was around January 20th. An egg only lives up to 24 hours, so anything after the 21st is unlikely to result in fertilization. IF however, you had sex any time during that fertile period in January, it is possible. But she wouldn't have gotten that period in Feburary, and the tests in March sure as sh*t would've come back positive. If she took two tests at the end of March and they came up negative, then she wasn't pregnant. That's two whole cycles that had gone by, and if she got pregnant during either February's or March's fertile time, it would've shown up with the tests she took in March. And for her to test positive in April she would've had to have sex from the 10-14th of that month. And a pregnancy test wouldn't show up that soon anyway. Whew! So, to recap, she wasn't pregnant in February at all, she got her period and the tests she took in March were negative. They would definitely been positive by then. If the end of January was the last time you two had sex, then this pregnancy (if there is one) isn't from you. The only way it could possibly be yours is if you had sex during the fertile times I listed above. I hope this helps, the female ovulation cycle can be confusing. Oh, and all this is based on a couple using no birth control. Those implants are absolutely 99% effective, so her getting pregnant at all on one is highly, highly unlikely. But hey, DNA tests are readily available, so it'll be easy to prove or disprove her claim when/if the baby's born. But I doubt she's pregnant, and I doubt if she is, that it's yours. 4
Author Guy87 Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 Thank you for your help and support. The last time I was intimate with her was in late January and the first time was the 22nd or 23rd of January. Thank you ZiggyZoo for your medical insight. This has been confusing, especially since it's been a long time after I had health class. That and I'm a guy, I don't know the female cycle that well. It sucks that the baby, if there is one, might not be mine. We intended on being married and having children. I'm seriously done with relationships of why you're all saying is true. I want to be the guy who stands up and does the right thing, but at what point do I start standing up for myself? This sucks and I feel defeated and lost. 1
Bohonia Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Here's how a woman's body works. She has her period and generally 10 - 14 days from when her period starts she will ovulate. Ovulation is a VERY short window of opportunity to get pregnant. This is also the ONLY time she can get pregnant. You do not have a period if you are pregnant, you can have some bleeding but not full on period. You will not have two periods and then take a pregnancy test and it shows up positive. Her timing is off. If she goes to the doctor to have her blood tested try to be there, generally they can get you the results same day if you go to a hospital. Good luck!
ZiggyZoo Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Man, I'm glad I could help, but sorry this is the outcome. Shoot, we're here for post-breakup stuff too. Come back if you need to!
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