MyFault69 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I'm sorta in the thing where two people just stop contacting each other for no reason and Im wondering if she's either not interested or thinking the same of me and waiting for me. We pretty much were dating like a week and half seeing each other every second day. The last night we were together we went for sushi where she told me she was falling for me. The next day she woke up with PMS so before I left I kissed her goodbye and that was like 15 days ago. I figured cause she was in bad mood wait for her to message me. Thing is she has low self esteem to the point I had to re-assure her of her looks and stuff which is where its making me wonder if she was afraid to message me and was afraid I lost interest. I've wanted to message her but I'm so use to if girl shows low interest just stop contact completely and afraid I'd lose my dignity if I message her and my fears are correct. I think I know what the deal is I have to hear it from other people. Thanks.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I find it funny that you're asking who's fault it is when your screen name is "MyFault69". 4
ExpatInItaly Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I'd say that if neither of you is taking the initiative to contact the other, then neither of you is really all that interested. You've now been out of contact longer than you "dated" - and I put that in quotations because it was so short so you could only have possibly hung out a handful of times. If in the 10 days or so you've already had to re-assure her and figured she has low self-esteem, you know that she is going to be a lot of work. I'd put this one to bed and move on. 2
Author MyFault69 Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 Lol I made that username years ago trying to get over an ex. Your right about the time being longer than dating still I wonder.
Toodaloo Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I find it funny that you're asking who's fault it is when your screen name is "MyFault69". I know..! MyFault - In this case if you want to ring then just ring! Tell her that you left it a while because you didn't know when would be a good time! She is probably thinking you have gone off and met someone else at this rate! 1
PegNosePete Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I figured cause she was in bad mood wait for her to message me. Thing is she has low self esteem Logic fail. If she is in a bad mood then messaging her is the right thing to do. If she's in a bad mood and has low self esteem then she isn't going to message you is she?? So yeah your flawed logic is why the communication stopped. She obviously thinks you lost interest. She's pretty unlikely to respond favourably to a message from you now, after all this time. However you lose nothing by trying. "Dignity" is not a tangible quantity, you don't "lose" it when you get rejected or ignored by someone you're never going to see again. So either she will respond negatively or not at all (in which case you simply move on) or positively. You have nothing to lose. 3
katiegrl Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) I'm sorta in the thing where two people just stop contacting each other for no reason and Im wondering if she's either not interested or thinking the same of me and waiting for me. We pretty much were dating like a week and half seeing each other every second day. The last night we were together we went for sushi where she told me she was falling for me. The next day she woke up with PMS so before I left I kissed her goodbye and that was like 15 days ago. I figured cause she was in bad mood wait for her to message me. Thing is she has low self esteem to the point I had to re-assure her of her looks and stuff which is where its making me wonder if she was afraid to message me and was afraid I lost interest. I've wanted to message her but I'm so use to if girl shows low interest just stop contact completely and afraid I'd lose my dignity if I message her and my fears are correct. I think I know what the deal is I have to hear it from other people. Thanks. Why do you and so many other guys get so hung up on chicks with so many damn issues? You're dating a little over a WEEK and she wakes up and tells you she had PMS?? Then goes silent for 15 days? Low self esteem, needs constant reassurance, all after only one week. Come on now dude, you can do better than this, don't ya think? Sheesh. Edited April 22, 2015 by katiegrl 5
elaine567 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 ...she told me she was falling for me. e. Thing is she has low self esteem to the point I had to re-assure her of her looks and stuff which is where its making me wonder if she was afraid to message me and was afraid I lost interest. She told you she was falling for you, she is a girl with low self esteem and you stopped contact???? I guess, she thinks she scared you off with "I think I may love you", and she thinks you then dumped her. People with low self esteem can be clingy, ie always contacting to get validation, or they will always wait for the other person to contact, because they do not see themselves as worthy, they do not think anyone likes them that much, so do not want to force themselves onto anyone. I guess your girl is in the latter group. 5
elaine567 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I've wanted to message her but I'm so use to if girl shows low interest just stop contact completely and afraid I'd lose my dignity if I message her and my fears are correct. I think I know what the deal is I have to hear it from other people. Thanks. I think you had better think again about that "lose my dignity" attitude. Some very interested girls will want you to pursue them. I do not suggest you start pestering woman who truly aren't interested, but do not assume that women will always pursue you, if they are interested, some simply will not. Your purpose is to try and find a compatible woman, shutting down a whole group of them over "dignity" is not the brightest idea. 1
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 The last night we were together we went for sushi where she told me she was falling for me. The next day she woke up with PMS so before I left I kissed her goodbye and that was like 15 days ago. You mean you spent the night at her place and did not contact her the day after ???? *fainting* What's wrong with men! I agree with the other ladies. This young woman is insecure, she needed your reassurance and you reaching out to her. She is convinced you don't care and she made a fool out of herself for telling you she is falling for you. ALWAYS contact a woman after you spent the night with her! 8
losangelena Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 If this girl is insecure or has low self esteem, and stuck her neck out enough to tell you she thinks she's falling for you, I can guarantee you that she was serious. How did you respond when she said that? My guess is that she's feeling stupid for saying it, and has convinced herself that you don't feel the same way. Also, if you really like this woman and want a chance with her, get on the horn! The fact that you're not willing to stick your own neck out and risk possible rejection will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You're afraid your worst fears, she rejecting you, will happen if you reach out—well, that will DEFINITELY happen if you refuse to reach out at all. I'm with the above poster, you've got nothing to lose here. 1
Gary S Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 That's a lot of issues in just 1.5 weeks. Run Forest, run! 1
Mrin Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 "I may have been alone all my life but I am really glad I had my dignity to keep me warm at night", said no dying man ever. 2
Redhead14 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I'm sorta in the thing where two people just stop contacting each other for no reason and Im wondering if she's either not interested or thinking the same of me and waiting for me. We pretty much were dating like a week and half seeing each other every second day. The last night we were together we went for sushi where she told me she was falling for me. The next day she woke up with PMS so before I left I kissed her goodbye and that was like 15 days ago. I figured cause she was in bad mood wait for her to message me. Thing is she has low self esteem to the point I had to re-assure her of her looks and stuff which is where its making me wonder if she was afraid to message me and was afraid I lost interest. I've wanted to message her but I'm so use to if girl shows low interest just stop contact completely and afraid I'd lose my dignity if I message her and my fears are correct. I think I know what the deal is I have to hear it from other people. Thanks. She was "falling" for you after a week and half? Woke up with PMS and was in a bad mood to the point where you thought she needed space because of it? Geez. If PMS is the reason she's not contacting you for 15 days, I'm guessing she has PMS everyday of the year. And, if I had just started dating someone and I "got" PMS and caused my mood to be bad, I'd keep it in check for quite a while . . . Don't bother. 1
Author MyFault69 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 Yes I want to know if the lack of contact is my fault if it is I would contact her. Tomorrow is my bday and I was thinking of sending a message like "Today is my bday and to be honest all I want is to see you again."
amaysngrace Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Yes I want to know if the lack of contact is my fault if it is I would contact her. Tomorrow is my bday and I was thinking of sending a message like "Today is my bday and to be honest all I want is to see you again." Make sure you find out if she's done her period first.
Author MyFault69 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 LOL. Im wondering if it is on me to contact her after spending night.
losangelena Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 How about, if you WANT TO talk to her, you reach out? What's the problem with that? So what if you text and she doesn't reply? Boo-hoo. We've all been there—you'll get over it. But if you don't try, you'll always wonder.
Author MyFault69 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 I guess. Its easier to feel like your being rejected than to be confirmed you are.
elaine567 Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I guess. Its easier to feel like your being rejected than to be confirmed you are. You wouldn't have been rejected if you had contacted her the next day after spending the night. Now, after 2+ weeks, who knows? 1
losangelena Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I guess. Its easier to feel like your being rejected than to be confirmed you are. What's the difference? Like I said before this is a self-fulfilling prophesy. Let's say she really isn't interested, and has rejected you—you already know that. But let's say she spent a week anxiously waiting for you to reach out to her, because she laid it all on the line to you and you react ... how? Did you reciprocate the notion that you're falling for her? She tells you that and then you disappear? If I were her, I would see your lack of contact as a confirmation of your lack of feelings. What I'm saying, is that since you already feel rejected, I don't understand why it's such a big deal to follow up, especially since you did like her and seem to have some initial promise. It's bothering you enough to come post about it here, after all. 1
amaysngrace Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 You didn't contact her when she said she was PMSing. Now she thinks all you want her for is sex. Good job. Oh and hey...Happy Birthday!
Gaeta Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 LOL. Im wondering if it is on me to contact her after spending night. I can't believe I am reading this. You said: Thing is she has low self esteem to the point I had to re-assure her of her looks and stuff which is where its making me wonder if she was afraid to message me and was afraid I lost interest. Between you and her which one needed re-assurance after sex? Let me help you with the answer: not you. And YES when a gentleman has sex with a lady he contacts her the following day. Also, you admit of being wondering if her insecurities made her afraid to message you and you still ignored her for 2 weeks?hhmm on a scale of 1 to 10 how much did you like this girl? I don't think you liked her much.
Author MyFault69 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Posted April 23, 2015 We never had sex. I spent the night but it didn't get past third base. I'm going to text her in an hour or so and say "Today is my birthday and all I want, all I been thinking of for past two weeks is to talk to you again."
Gaeta Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 We never had sex. I spent the night but it didn't get past third base. I'm going to text her in an hour or so and say "Today is my birthday and all I want, all I been thinking of for past two weeks is to talk to you again." If I were you I would spread it a little thicker with an apology and tell her the truth, that you thought she wanted space because of your last conversation but it was a mistake to let so much time pass. 1
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