How to deal with a second breakup with someone you love?

[Nelsonfloyd5]

Hello everyone! This is my first post so here goes my story!

 

So it all started because my ex (which we broke up 2 years ago because she looked disconnected from the relationship) contacted me and wanted to start seeing me again, I agreed and it all went downhill from there. After almost 2 months of talking to her by text everyday and seeing her about 4-5 times, one friday she sends me a message saying that she is very busy with work and school and she does not have the time to put into the "relationship" even though, and I quote, "You are the most amazing man I have ever meet and the only one I truly look up to" and "Does not want to do things half-ass, either I am in it or not". I decided to cut all contact with her because I want a relationship not something half-ass either.

 

Now I am feeling as devastated and depressed as the first time we broke up, this woman has a spell on me, I love her greatly but I know deep down inside that she will never make me happy, but then again she says these wonderful things about me with leaves my mind guessing if it would be better to be patient and let her finish her school so we can spend more time together.

 

She has changed my life ever since I meet her, those two years of her absence were horrible. Her not being with me breaks my heart into pieces and I think of her everyday.

 

I feel as though I will never find a girl which I find so attractive both mentally and physically. What would be the best advice on how to cope with such feelings?

[Mrlonelyone]

Hello everyone! This is my first post so here goes my story!

 

So it all started because my ex (which we broke up 2 years ago because she looked disconnected from the relationship) contacted me and wanted to start seeing me again, I agreed and it all went downhill from there. After almost 2 months of talking to her by text everyday and seeing her about 4-5 times, one friday she sends me a message saying that she is very busy with work and school and she does not have the time to put into the "relationship" even though, and I quote, "You are the most amazing man I have ever meet and the only one I truly look up to" and "Does not want to do things half-ass, either I am in it or not". I decided to cut all contact with her because I want a relationship not something half-ass either.

 

Now I am feeling as devastated and depressed as the first time we broke up, this woman has a spell on me, I love her greatly but I know deep down inside that she will never make me happy, but then again she says these wonderful things about me with leaves my mind guessing if it would be better to be patient and let her finish her school so we can spend more time together.

 

 

She has changed my life ever since I meet her, those two years of her absence were horrible. Her not being with me breaks my heart into pieces and I think of her everyday.

 

Sorry to hear that. Let me ask have you dated anyone else at all?

 

 

 

I feel as though I will never find a girl which I find so attractive both mentally and physically. What would be the best advice on how to cope with such feelings?

 

I know just how you feel.

 

The best thing you can do is move on from her. Sad as that may sound if she's no longer willing to work on the RLShip then there is nothing to work on. Move on, life is waiting.

 

I have told myself that out in the world somewhere there is a person who will be such a great match for me that the Ex's of the past will seem comical by comparison. Now, it is possible this future person can be a future, more mature, more experienced, version of an EX. That just isn't likely.

 

Move on as if she did not reach out to you. Only look back if she comes to you and wants to do the hard work it takes to make a relationship work.

 

[Nelsonfloyd5]

Hello everyone! This is my first post so here goes my story!

 

So it all started because my ex (which we broke up 2 years ago because she looked disconnected from the relationship) contacted me and wanted to start seeing me again, I agreed and it all went downhill from there. After almost 2 months of talking to her by text everyday and seeing her about 4-5 times, one friday she sends me a message saying that she is very busy with work and school and she does not have the time to put into the "relationship" even though, and I quote, "You are the most amazing man I have ever meet and the only one I truly look up to" and "Does not want to do things half-ass, either I am in it or not". I decided to cut all contact with her because I want a relationship not something half-ass either.

 

Now I am feeling as devastated and depressed as the first time we broke up, this woman has a spell on me, I love her greatly but I know deep down inside that she will never make me happy, but then again she says these wonderful things about me with leaves my mind guessing if it would be better to be patient and let her finish her school so we can spend more time together.

 

 

 

 

Sorry to hear that. Let me ask have you dated anyone else at all?

 

 

 

 

 

I know just how you feel.

 

The best thing you can do is move on from her. Sad as that may sound if she's no longer willing to work on the RLShip then there is nothing to work on. Move on, life is waiting.

 

I have told myself that out in the world somewhere there is a person who will be such a great match for me that the Ex's of the past will seem comical by comparison. Now, it is possible this future person can be a future, more mature, more experienced, version of an EX. That just isn't likely.

 

Move on as if she did not reach out to you. Only look back if she comes to you and wants to do the hard work it takes to make a relationship work.

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story! I deeply appreciate it!

 

I did date a couple of woman but one was just to old for me (she was 36 I was 25 and had a son) and the second was, in the end, not looking for a relationship, she wanted to be friends with benefits but i was not looking for that, I wanted and want a meaningful relationship.

 

Moving on is the best option, but it seems impossible now, her memory is tattoed in my brain. I feel the love I felt for her will not be matched, and those two relationships I had proved it.

[d0nnivain]

You can't reconcile with somebody until you fix the stuff that broke you apart in the 1st place. She came back because she missed the good things but conveniently forgot the bad. Once she was back she realized her happiness doesn't lie with you & now you have to realize yours isn't with her.

 

 

Look at it this way, you tried. The 2nd break up is concrete proof that this wasn't meant to be.

 

 

You are young at 25. It may not feel like it in the throws of the break up but you will love again.

[Frank2thepoint]

Now I am feeling as devastated and depressed as the first time we broke up, this woman has a spell on me, I love her greatly but I know deep down inside that she will never make me happy, but then again she says these wonderful things about me with leaves my mind guessing if it would be better to be patient and let her finish her school so we can spend more time together.

 

You are allowing her to have an affect on you. You know very well she isn't right for you, but you are convincing yourself to be patient, when she should be convincing you. No amount of waiting will make her change. Just let her go and move on. You tried twice now, so it's best for you to find someone that will invest her time into the relationship.

[Nelsonfloyd5]

Thank you all very much for the advice!

 

I have tried all I can, Ive been playing soccer and going to the gym everyday of the week, Ive been practicing incessantly on my guitar, Ive tried to start reading, been going out more, headed to the beach on weekends, been listening to everyhing that is considered heavy (Black Sabbath, Judas Priest etc) but nothing can make me feel better. Returning to an empty home overshadows all of my efforts, most nights I think to myself that this going to last a lifetime and I try to convince myself it will just so I can brace.