swimming2 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 4 years ago I split up with one of my ex's. It wasn't the usual break up where the relationship encounters problems and someone breaks it off. There were no problems and we never fought. I literally just woke up one morning and decided that I didn't want to date this girl anymore. Looking back at it now, I know that the reason for my hasty action is that I never fell in love with her in the 8 months that we were dating. I liked this girl and was attracted to her but I never got that "gushy" love feeling. I believe part of the reason I never fell for her was because I started dating her only 2 months after a previous relationship had ended. I was heartbroken over this previous relationship and I think I was (not intentionally) looking for someone to fill the hole left in my heart. Realistically, I now know that I simply wasn't ready to date at the time because I wasn't fully healed. I've started thinking about this ex again recently and I wonder if it was just not the right time for us when we were dating 4 years ago. I've just for some reason started wondering if she could be someone I could really fall for now that I'm obviously cleared of baggage. I'd hate to miss an opportunity at happiness all because there was some bad timing in our lives. We're both going to be back in our hometown in a few weeks because of summer break from college so I'd be able to talk to her again. Does anyone think that because I never fell for this girl 4 years ago then I will not fall in love with her if we start dating again? I would just really like opinions on this because I am confused.
KatZee Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 I would just really like opinions on this because I am confused. I think you're just confused. Are you lonely? Are you on a dry spell? Are you grasping for straws because you have no other prospects? Also, you just dumped her for the mere fact that you just "didn't feel like dating her" anymore. That's kind of cold. And then to come crawling out of the woodwork 4 years later? Have you even spoken to her in these 4 years? If not, you two don't even know each other. Do you even know if she's single?
Author swimming2 Posted April 22, 2015 Author Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) I have dated a few girls in the past 4 years but have never gotten serious with any. I just never really liked any of them enough to want to enter a serious relationship. I have talked to her here and there in the last year when I would run into her. I know she's single right now. I am in 100% agreement that it was cold how I ended it with her 4 years ago. I am not proud of how I handled it. That's why I laid it out there without sugarcoating it. I had never really opened up to her because I was still healing. I just realized eventually that there was no passion in the relationship for me so I ended it. My heart just wasn't into it but she never did anything wrong for me to feel like that. Edited April 22, 2015 by swimming2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Some exes just stick with you. This recent one won't. We broke up a few days ago, and I was instantly fine the minute it happened. It was mutual and amicable. We both agree that we're wired differently and that we should have just been friends. For the first time ever, I am going to attempt it down the road. Since I like her as a person, but feel no attraction whatsoever anymore, I'll be good with it. But the one before her, is the one that I still regret losing. Only one I ever introduced to my folks, only one that ever gave me butterflies, and the only one who I may have possibly been in love with. We eventually broke up over outside drama in her life that had nothing to do with us. That's what sucked. If I had met her 2-3 years later, who knows. So even though it's been a year and a half, I still fight the urge to text her once and awhile. She'll definitely be the one I compare other women to for awhile.
Jessie1231 Posted April 22, 2015 Posted April 22, 2015 Some exes just stick with you. This recent one won't. We broke up a few days ago, and I was instantly fine the minute it happened. It was mutual and amicable. We both agree that we're wired differently and that we should have just been friends. For the first time ever, I am going to attempt it down the road. Since I like her as a person, but feel no attraction whatsoever anymore, I'll be good with it. But the one before her, is the one that I still regret losing. Only one I ever introduced to my folks, only one that ever gave me butterflies, and the only one who I may have possibly been in love with. We eventually broke up over outside drama in her life that had nothing to do with us. That's what sucked. If I had met her 2-3 years later, who knows. So even though it's been a year and a half, I still fight the urge to text her once and awhile. She'll definitely be the one I compare other women to for awhile. Oh no! You broke up with this recent one? I had been rooting for you from your posts about it. Anyway, to OP - I think there isn't any point in not contacting her. I dated a guy for a few months some years ago and I cannot even remember why we broke up. No idea who even initiated it. Anyway, it ended. Then about a year later he called me out of the blue and just asked me to dinner and I accepted. We got back together and it was just wonderful. We broke up, but that's beside the point. If it wasn't a really bad break up then there's no harm in at least trying if you still wonder about her.
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